The Curse of "Who Am I Kidding?"
webuiltthisnicky
Posts: 84 Member
Did anybody here, very early on in their weight loss journey, find themselves thinking, "Who am I kidding? I'll never lose all that weight? Why can't I just accept that I'm a fatty and always will be?"
This is my fifth day in, and although I'm pretty determined and not doing too badly with cravings so far (touch wood) I honestly do find myself worrying that maybe I'm just kidding myself, I'll never lose the weight and even if I do I'll only put it back on again anyway so what's the point?
It's a weird feeling because I feel like I'm doing well at the moment. I generally keep between 1200 and 1500 every day and I've been pretty good at avoiding junk food so far. But at the same time I just know I'm going to step on the scales and see absolutely no change because that sort of thing doesn't happen to me. While other girls get to be effortlessly thin, I'll always be gross and that's just a fact of life.
It's a rubbishy feeling, but did anyone else feel this way at the beginning? How do you feel now? What was it that changed your outlook? How long did it take to change your way of thinking?
This is my fifth day in, and although I'm pretty determined and not doing too badly with cravings so far (touch wood) I honestly do find myself worrying that maybe I'm just kidding myself, I'll never lose the weight and even if I do I'll only put it back on again anyway so what's the point?
It's a weird feeling because I feel like I'm doing well at the moment. I generally keep between 1200 and 1500 every day and I've been pretty good at avoiding junk food so far. But at the same time I just know I'm going to step on the scales and see absolutely no change because that sort of thing doesn't happen to me. While other girls get to be effortlessly thin, I'll always be gross and that's just a fact of life.
It's a rubbishy feeling, but did anyone else feel this way at the beginning? How do you feel now? What was it that changed your outlook? How long did it take to change your way of thinking?
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Go have a look in the "Success Stories" section. Then report back. ^^0
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I think for me it was the realisation at around the day 5 to 10 mark that I felt better. It didn't matter if I was losing weight I actually felt like I had more energy, I didn't feel as tired. I know this is going to be a year+ long journey and it's not the first time I've tried it but I keep reminding myself how good I feel when I eat well and get some exercise versus how not so great I feel when I don't.
I'm at 35 days and I will admit this week has been tough. Not sure what it has been. Maybe because work has been less than satisfying it has flowed over into my overall wellbeing. 2 months ago I would have had a week like this, come home and binged. But I know that doing so will make me feel sick and worse so I've stuck to the food plan. Hoping to start the weekend on a brighter note.
Each day counts when you are starting out. The first weekly weigh in can be tough. I know people who lose a heap week 1 but I also know someone who gained the first week. Just remember it's about a healthier lifestyle and science tells us that if you stick to a healthier lifestyle with 1200-1500 calories the weight will drop, albeit slowly.0 -
I'm always thinking that as well when I start, after the first 10 kg I switch to "Fk yea this time I can do it! Really!" - this is a great Feeling, unfortunately, it doesn't take long, as I'm an emotional/stress eater -> jojo! When I can finally get my a** up again, I'm back at "who am I kidding?"
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I think that way when I want to eat more than I should (kind of like giving myself permission). I have to take it one day at a time, I have to realize how far I have come and not wanting to start all over again, and lastly I have decided to find motivation through others...0
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I think people often sabotage their efforts by thinking that way. You should certainly have the big goal, but focus on smaller goals that you know you can accomplish like losing two pounds.0
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yes, absolutely and you know what I often step on the scales and there's no change .. because fluctuations ... I can go 2 - 3 weeks and no change (up and down the same 2-3lbs) and then whoosh change
44lbs later and I've got this - it feels normal - it becomes a virtuous circle of this is just how I live my life
calorie counting - exercise - compliments - new clothes - calorie counting - fitness goals - achievement etc0 -
For me it helps to not focus on losing weight. I try to be more process oriented. Its about the kind of person I want to be rather than the amount of weight I want to lose. I want to be the kind of person who eats healthy (and the proper amounts). I want to be the kind of person who gets regular exercise. I want to be the kind of person who takes care of herself rather than mocking those who do because I feel guilty/ashamed. I want to be the kind of person who lives life on her feet rather than sitting on her butt. That kind of focus keeps me going when the scale doesn't move like I think it should. So what if I'll never be skinny? So what if I have tons of loose skin? So what if I always look gross? Being skinny or sexy or looking good naked was never my goal to begin with. Also… it helps that during that "honeymoon period" of high motivation when I was all ready to get out there and kick some *kitten*, that I used that time to create habits and routines for myself. Those habits and routines carry me through when the motivation wears off or when I'm wondering what good it'll do. I still do it because… well, what else would I do? It's just what I do now. I would feel lost and bored and wonder what to do with myself if I didn't go workout when I wake up.0
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Every junkie feels the same way when going through rehab. Even us food junkies ... and we are indeed junkies or we wouldn't constantly overeat.
3+years ago I was all "Who are you kidding, Sarge - you've been a smoker for almost 3 decades. The better part of 30 years. You will always be a smoker ..."
It's been almost 40 months, well over 1000 days without a smoke.
We all have those thoughts occasionally. Especially at the beginning.
Keep Calm and Carry on.
Stick with the program. You'll be glad you did.0 -
Currently on day 278, only been over my calorie allotment 2 times, lost almost 110lbs and I still wake up and think who am I kidding. I am still that 300lbs guy. But I soldier on and hope that when I get these last 20 or so lbs off I start to realize I actually did it. In the meantime I focus on my fitness goals as best I can0
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No
Its just about focus, knowledge and having the correct mindset. Its understandable amny dieters and yo yo dieters have a lot of negatives to overcome because its quite a challenge and takes a degree of sustained disipline they arent used to. I think being overweight isnt kind on self esteem, so you have to overcome that.
What you have to be concerned about and work on is what happens after the enthusiasm wears off and to make sure you are commited enough so that you see it through.
Im very pleased with my focus (not smug or complacent), its been pretty good, but I think my attitude has also been good in that I take responsibility for my actions and progress. If soemthing goes right then thats good and encouraging, but if it goes wrong, then I just pick myself up and get back to it, adjusting as needed to make sure it goes right again.
Realise its all in your own hands, be smart learn from others and be honest by taking responsibility. You cna make it happen, not just for a week, but for months until you get to target.0 -
The advice on this thread has been really encouraging, and so has looking at the Success Stories board, so I want to thank everyone for contributing to this thread. I it's interesting to read from the people who still feel like they're their old size. It must be hard to adjust to not being what you spent so long expecting to be. My first weigh-in isn't until this Wednesday and I'm crossing my fingers I'll see a positive change to give me a little boost.0
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lookitsnicky wrote: »Did anybody here, very early on in their weight loss journey, find themselves thinking, "Who am I kidding? I'll never lose all that weight? Why can't I just accept that I'm a fatty and always will be?"
This is my fifth day in, and although I'm pretty determined and not doing too badly with cravings so far (touch wood) I honestly do find myself worrying that maybe I'm just kidding myself, I'll never lose the weight and even if I do I'll only put it back on again anyway so what's the point?
It's a weird feeling because I feel like I'm doing well at the moment. I generally keep between 1200 and 1500 every day and I've been pretty good at avoiding junk food so far. But at the same time I just know I'm going to step on the scales and see absolutely no change because that sort of thing doesn't happen to me. While other girls get to be effortlessly thin, I'll always be gross and that's just a fact of life.
It's a rubbishy feeling, but did anyone else feel this way at the beginning? How do you feel now? What was it that changed your outlook? How long did it take to change your way of thinking?
whether you think you can, or you think you cant, you're right!
dont talk yourself out of trying before you've even started!!0 -
Heya! I want to come in from the other direction, because comparing myself to others is *my* kryptonite:While other girls get to be effortlessly thin, I'll always be gross and that's just a fact of life.
So I am not and have never been "effortlessly thin"--I didn't even get a "skinny phase" as a kid; I went straight from baby fat to puberty. I worked really, really hard in college and afterwards to stay small mostly via diet, moderate cardio (30 min elliptical or 60 min walking). I wanted so badly to be the "effortlessly thin" people who did not have to turn down the cookie or the beer and who got to be the cool "one of the guys" chick tossing back White Castle sliders.
Well, I'm now working in a university setting, and it turns out--there really *aren't* "effortlessly thin" women after high school, at least not very many of them. They're the ones passing by the candy bowl in the office without grabbing a chocolate, they turn down cupcakes passed around in class, their dining hall plates have a couple sprigs of lettuce. The ones who eat like the guys? Generally kinda look like it, and are usually the ones I see at the gym (I work out on campus) trying to burn off the beer and Taco Bell.
It sounds kind of dumb, but the realization that I am *not* superspecial and unlucky, that thin people *do* work hard to get and stay that way, kind of floored me. I inadvertently gained some weight over the past year or so, and taking it off is psychologically easier this time because I don't feel like I'm being punished for having a fail body or metabolism or something. I'm a normal human who ate a little too much and is now eating a little less than ideal. Like normal people can do, and do.
Hope this helps a little.
Don't fret if the scale doesn't give you the results you want right away. I went 3 solid weeks with either zero change or a slight upward bounce, and then FWAM, week 4, six pounds off and haven't been back above that number since.0 -
GingerbreadCandy wrote: »Go have a look in the "Success Stories" section. Then report back. ^^
This is great advice.
Also, the first time I ever tried to lose weight (I've done it twice), I felt that way, underneath. I fought it by making really concrete goals and thinking of my plans for me in 6 months and one year. And, more important, I focused on things I knew I could do--I said to myself it may not work to lose weight, but I am going to be really fit, will exercise and train to run x distance and will eat a really healthy diet. Once I lost weight and kept doing so for a month or so I started believing that it really was in my control, and that made it easier to keep going. I think that will happen for you too.0 -
I cannot relate to that way of thinking however I take it one day at a time. Not sure if that makes the difference.0
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I felt that way for the first several months of my first loss. I felt like I was so out of control that it would be impossible for me to stay on track, and I believed I was somehow so defective that even if I stayed on track I wouldn't actually lose any weight. Even as the weight started coming off -- 10lbs gone, 20lbs down -- there was this weird disbelief in my head: "The scale is probably broken or something. These pants probably just got stretched out. It can't really be working for me." I don't think I felt really confident and in control of my weight loss until I was at least 40 pounds in!
It's hard this time, too. Even having done it successfully before, I feel like losing more is going to be somehow impossible. "You've had a year of maintenance," I keep telling myself, "so you clearly won't be able to stick with it this time around." It sucks. I think I'll start believing I can still do this the first time I see a real loss on the scale, but the wait-and-hope is really discouraging sometimes.0 -
That's the mentality that I had ~2 years ago. I just gave up and thought I should just accept being fat.
But I wanted to be as healthy as I could, so I started exercising. I didn't lose any weight, but my fitness improved.
Then I figured, I'm doing all this exercise, if I just controlled my intake, I would lose weight. And I knew that I could. If I had been so diligent in my exercise that I had gone from not being able to run for 30 secs to being able to run 5k, I could count calories. It would be easy in comparison (I really really really hated exercise before).
So last May I started counting calories. I'm now **almost** out of the obese BMI category.
My biggest reason for being able to stick to it this time around was believing that I could. Whenever I didn't think it was possible, I failed. Thinking that I could actually do this made it so that I could actually do it.
I second the above poster who said to read the "success stories".0 -
I'm amazed by the great advice on this thread.Ppl sharing a tough part of their lives,doing their best to help.
There's no way anyone can do it for you & it took me too many years to realize that.It also took even
longer to admit this is a lifetime deal.The plateaus can last for months,the many changes in what you buy,how you cook,the BIG choices you make are up to only one person.Good luck & let us know how it goes. Pat
If you always do what you always did,you will always get what you always got.
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lookitsnicky wrote: »Did anybody here, very early on in their weight loss journey, find themselves thinking, "Who am I kidding? I'll never lose all that weight? Why can't I just accept that I'm a fatty and always will be?"
This is my fifth day in, and although I'm pretty determined and not doing too badly with cravings so far (touch wood) I honestly do find myself worrying that maybe I'm just kidding myself, I'll never lose the weight and even if I do I'll only put it back on again anyway so what's the point?
It's a weird feeling because I feel like I'm doing well at the moment. I generally keep between 1200 and 1500 every day and I've been pretty good at avoiding junk food so far. But at the same time I just know I'm going to step on the scales and see absolutely no change because that sort of thing doesn't happen to me. While other girls get to be effortlessly thin, I'll always be gross and that's just a fact of life.
It's a rubbishy feeling, but did anyone else feel this way at the beginning? How do you feel now? What was it that changed your outlook? How long did it take to change your way of thinking?
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So pleased I read this thread! All the posts were both relatable and encouraging. It's nice to know that people who have felt the same way have been successful in their weight loss/fitness journey.0
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I felt very doubtful in the beginning mostly because I'm sort of negative about most things in life that people refuse to understand, but I get it. Also I know I that it will be difficult but in the end it's going to be so worth it.0
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I'm going to be honest here. My first reaction to this post was "What...5 days!? That is seriously nothing..."
But you have received some great advice.
For me I was morbidly obese for many years and then suddenly gained weight and panicked because in my mind it went from being an aesthetic embarrassment and very minor inconvenience to "oh my god it's hard finding even plus sizes that fit and I could DIE from being so fat". I knew I was going to lose weight. I didn't care that it might take years, I just knew there HAD to be a downward trend in the scale. And there was.
MFP was a great tool in accelerating that downward trend - eventually to levels I did not expect.
The main reason I am responding to this post though, is because I think I did have SOME of that "what's the point?" feeling. I was used to being fat and I did not mind that much most of the time. It was part of my identity, something I'd accepted many years ago as a teen. I saw other people at 262 lb (my start weight for MFP) saying "ooh girl you know I'm gonna get to 125 and look SO HOT" and I felt like, what? That was not me. At all. I had such serious doubts I'd ever be able to get to even 200 and below.
Just focus on what is ahead, that's my best advice. Don't let too much stuff into your head except feeling healthy and very gradually becoming leaner.
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seltzermint wrote: »I'm going to be honest here. My first reaction to this post was "What...5 days!? That is seriously nothing..."
Haha it really is nothing. I feel like I'm about to start climbing a mountain!0 -
I just didnt think about it much while I was losing weight.
I just kept eating the amount that MFP said to eat (with some binges/slip ups/being human in there) and kept watching the weight come off.
Whenever my weight would stall I'd say "Oh I guess this my goal weight" then in a week/two weeks or more I'd have lost a bit more weight.
Finally I set my settings to maintain after about a year, and my BMI had gone from 30 to 20.
You dont have to be super motivated/always enjoying the process. Just keep plugging away at it.0 -
To be completely honest, I used to have that. Then recently, a second voice started shouting over that one...
"Are you freaking kidding me? Of course you can lose that weight! It's not a special talent, it's science and thermodynamics. Nobody said it would be easy, but guess what, you are not fooling yourself thinking you can lose weight. You are fooling yourself by thinking you could never get that far!"
I actually have this forum to thank for that.
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lookitsnicky wrote: »seltzermint wrote: »I'm going to be honest here. My first reaction to this post was "What...5 days!? That is seriously nothing..."
Haha it really is nothing. I feel like I'm about to start climbing a mountain!
I really do hope that didn't offend you! I just read that and I was afraid you were one of the people (like some of my friends, actually) who gives it a chance for a week and doesn't see a huge initial loss and gives up. Reading further I understood there are other issues going on. I truly do wish you the best! Patience is the hardest part but it pays off.
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seltzermint wrote: »
I really do hope that didn't offend you! I just read that and I was afraid you were one of the people (like some of my friends, actually) who gives it a chance for a week and doesn't see a huge initial loss and gives up. Reading further I understood there are other issues going on. I truly do wish you the best! Patience is the hardest part but it pays off.
Not at all, I know people who are just like that. I just don't want to end up as one of them!
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I absolutely thought that, but so far I have lost 22 lbs.0
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lookitsnicky wrote: »seltzermint wrote: »I'm going to be honest here. My first reaction to this post was "What...5 days!? That is seriously nothing..."
Haha it really is nothing. I feel like I'm about to start climbing a mountain!
"[A]bout to ..."
You are already on The Mountain.
Onward and upward ...
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lookitsnicky wrote: »Did anybody here, very early on in their weight loss journey, find themselves thinking, "Who am I kidding? I'll never lose all that weight? Why can't I just accept that I'm a fatty and always will be?"
This is my fifth day in, and although I'm pretty determined and not doing too badly with cravings so far (touch wood) I honestly do find myself worrying that maybe I'm just kidding myself, I'll never lose the weight and even if I do I'll only put it back on again anyway so what's the point?
It's a weird feeling because I feel like I'm doing well at the moment. I generally keep between 1200 and 1500 every day and I've been pretty good at avoiding junk food so far. But at the same time I just know I'm going to step on the scales and see absolutely no change because that sort of thing doesn't happen to me. While other girls get to be effortlessly thin, I'll always be gross and that's just a fact of life.
It's a rubbishy feeling, but did anyone else feel this way at the beginning? How do you feel now? What was it that changed your outlook? How long did it take to change your way of thinking?
Read the success stories here.
Change your attitude.
Those two things will give you a boost.
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