40 lbs overweight with 1200 cal intake and 4x week45min workouts

You're not broken. I had a similar issue last year, where a series of life crises kept me out of the gym for 3 months - I gained 15 lbs from stress eating.

Get a digital scale, and weigh everything. I mean everything.

Don't use user-added items as much as possible, unless you can confirm it (ie: you can see the same values on the container of food). Even so, rely on weight over volume every time.

Stick it out - this is a marathon, not a race. It's way easier to gain weight than lose it.

Don't weigh in daily. Your water weight, BM's, meals, etc will make that number fluctuate and you'll drive yourself batty.

And seriously - BRAVO on the food diary! Yours looks way better than mine. If you can up the lean proteins, you may see a change in terms of body composition, which may help placate your fears a bit more, even if the scale doesn't necessarily reflect your goals.

I did a newbie help post which has links to lots of useful info, including sexypants, accurate measuring & logging, setting reasonable goals (weight, calories, macros), motivation & encouragement...

It sounds like your exercise amount is perfectly reasonable.

Most likely what you're doing wrong is that you're not actually eating the 1200 calories you think you are. Most people underestimate what they eat, and most machines overestimate calories burned. Don't eat back your exercise calories, because that makes those 2 errors more or less cancel out for most people. Also, it's easier not to eat 500 calories than it is to exercise it away.

CDC wrote:

"Most weight loss occurs because of decreased caloric intake.
However, evidence shows the only way to maintain weight loss is to be engaged in regular physical activity."
http://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/physical_activity/index.html

Go read sexypants, and the post about accurate measurement & logging. Try that for a while.
Realize that with only 40 lb to lose, you're going to be doing it slowly - 1 lb a week would be a lot. 0.5 lb per week is more reasonable. That's frustratingly slow, I know. That's where I am now, 35 lb left to lose.

The thing I found out when it began measuring- I was way off in both directions. I never measured chips because I was just certain it would be so small. So I would grab the bag and eat it all. The first time I measured I was shocked on how much I got to eat. Totally changed my view. Then I weighed cheese- holy cow does that stuff weigh a lot :-).