Need support. I hate how I look!

Lisa1971
Lisa1971 Posts: 3,069 Member
edited November 10 in Motivation and Support
So here's my story. In 2011 I did medifast for 7 months and lost 70lbs. I went from a size 16 to a 4. The weight melted off. The problem? I was starving and losing major muscle mass. I went off the diet and even when I stopped at 1400 calories I still put on weight. Seeing the weight pile on added to my depression. I exercised and ate clean but still put on weight. WHY? So since this wasn't working I just ate whatever I wanted. I also started drinking a lot of alcohol and binging after my family went to bed. I gained all of the weight back, I hate the way I look, and I'm not in a good place in my marriage. My husband is almost never home. He works, hunts, fishes, goes to Lions' club meetings, golfs, travels, plays poker, and goes out with his friends. I am left at home with 2 kids and no life except food and alcohol.

I want to change! I am cleaning a spot in the basement today where I can start P90X workouts again. I am going to stop drinking entirely and binge eating. I am just exhausted because I wake up most nights feeling embarrassed and ashamed that I gained the weight back. I am hoping 2015 is the year I get it together and lose this weight but do it the healthy way. Any motivation, advice, and support would be greatly appreciated. Thanks so much everyone!

Lisa

Replies

  • rgmooney66
    rgmooney66 Posts: 43 Member
    Feel free to add me. I've been on here since the beginning of the year and people have been very supportive. I do my best to be very supportive of everyone as well :smile:
  • NoelFigart1
    NoelFigart1 Posts: 1,276 Member
    I'm all FOR eating right and exercising. Go for it.

    It ainta gonna fix your marriage.
  • MarciBkonTrk
    MarciBkonTrk Posts: 310 Member
    You can add me too. I can relate to your pain and embarrassment. I've been on MFP for a long time and when I was dedicated to logging all my food and activities that I was my most successful. But for me 2015 is crunch time. Time for me to get serious again and so far so good. I've logged every day since 01/05/2015 and I've lost 7.2 pounds. Anything I can do to help you stay motivated I will do. I agree with rgmooney66 that everyone here is so supportive. Good luck and know that we support you in your journey to a healthier place. B)
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,149 Member
    NoelFigart1 wrote: »
    I'm all FOR eating right and exercising. Go for it.

    It ainta gonna fix your marriage.
    Virtual-Hug.gif
  • cheshirecatastrophe
    cheshirecatastrophe Posts: 1,395 Member
    Yup. I'd be sitting down with my husband and probably a counselor to talk about making things more even. Sure, he's working 9-5 or shift and deserves some time off, but you're working those hours too and ALSO deserve you time. If he won't go to couples therapy, could you see a counselor for yourself? I bet the chance to talk about what's stressing you out and work on some solutions would go a long way towards reducing the need to stress drink and eat in secret.
  • webuiltthisnicky
    webuiltthisnicky Posts: 84 Member
    I have those horrible realisations in the middle of the night too. When you're lying in bed and your fat is just everywhere and you have time to notice it and ugh. You lie on your side and notice how big your tummy is etc. Not nice. I'll send you a request. We can do it!
  • ladygi19
    ladygi19 Posts: 36 Member
    I know the feeling... I also did medifast and it worked great but then I just kinda quit. Unfortunately I have quit to many diets to count over the years. I am going strong (again) and this time really want to find a way for the lifestyle to "stick". Drinking seemed to be a major contributer for me as I generally ate like garbage after ate couple drinks and normally the next day too. So for me leaving that alone is priority number one. If you need a friend add me.
  • DevotedOne9
    DevotedOne9 Posts: 92 Member
    edited January 2015
    NoelFigart1 wrote: »
    I'm all FOR eating right and exercising. Go for it.

    It ainta gonna fix your marriage.

    I don't know...I may disagree. It's possible that the way you are feeling about yourself may be affecting your marriage a lot. I know that happened/still happens with me. I feel unlovable, so I push away my husband. I get depressed and disgusted and, truthfully, kind of bitchy. Certainly work on yourself, for YOUR sake, so you can love yourself again. Or...better yet...love yourself just the way you are, all your fault and failures, and decide you love yourself enough to be the best person you can be.
  • Lisa1971
    Lisa1971 Posts: 3,069 Member
    Thanks so much guys! I just need to get my life back on track. My entire family lives in Ohio and I miss them so much. I will and can do this! Love you guys!
  • Glowiie1
    Glowiie1 Posts: 85 Member
    You can absolutely do it! There's a lot of love and support to be found on MFP, so this is a great start to getting your life on track. Congratulations on taking that first step! We're all here for you B)
  • craygoldie1
    craygoldie1 Posts: 1
    Hi, I have severe gad, anxiety. I eat ALOT. I am 100lbs overweight. Anyone else eat because anxiety?
  • annewright72
    annewright72 Posts: 5 Member
    Feel free to add me, I like to motivate whilst getting motivated. I too have a journey in front of me! http://about.me/anne.wright
  • tburgess242002
    tburgess242002 Posts: 231 Member
    You can do it you just got to put your mind into it and become what you won't you can also add me if you'd like to be a friend and supporter and motivator because I also am looking for a friend then motivator and supporter were in it to win it
  • fitbethlin
    fitbethlin Posts: 162 Member
    I think the first step is to stop beating yourself up for things that are over. So you binged last night - feeling cruddy about it this morning isn't going to make you feel better, it's just going to make that bad choice mess up your body AND your mind. Mediation* - just focusing on letting thoughts run through your mind without holding on to them or judging them - might help. If you can objectively think about what led to the binge to help avoid that trigger in the future, then go ahead and analyze it. But if you're like me and that tends to just make you feel terrible about your mistakes, then try to put blinders on and realize there really is nothing you can do about the past - just keep putting one foot in front of the other and make your next small choice one that Future You will be proud of.

    (*Personal note: I don't meditate. At all. But I think I've finally gotten to a point where I no longer feel guilty about that, which is PROBABLY the first step towards making it a habit. Maybe. I don't know. Obv.)
  • Lisa1971
    Lisa1971 Posts: 3,069 Member
    Thanks again everyone! I actually just got back from getting a professional facial and hot stone massage! Hubby watched the kids! I'm in heaven! :smile:
  • CrimsonDiva7
    CrimsonDiva7 Posts: 171 Member
    You can and will be successful. Focus is key...carve out time to exercise, meal prep and love yourself throughout the process. Everyday take a step toward your goal! Everyday is a new day to get it right!
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