RANT!!!

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tkb1985
tkb1985 Posts: 146 Member
in Motivation and Support
Why is is it that some people can never just be happy for you, or support you in your decisions to try and better yourself?

I'm the first to admit I'm not the most active person in the world, but I'm TRYING to lose weight, I'm TRYING to eat more healthily. In short, I'm TRYING to improve myself, and I happen to think I'm doing OK.

So why is it, when I tell people I've joined this site, that I'm watching my calories, that I've started walking to work instead of driving (only 20 minutes each way, but it's 20 minutes more than I was doing before!), I get comments like this:

"that's not a lot, 20 minutes is nothing"

"sounds silly to me, you should just join a gym"

"that sounds like a small amount of calories, it CAN'T be good for you. You should stop now."

or my personal favourite.... "why?"

So here are my answers, to your stupid, pointless, hurtful and demotivating questions:

"it's 40 minutes, 3 days a week. It may not sound like a lot to you, but it's 40 minutes, 3 days a week that I wasn't doing before! I am doing a few other things on top of that, Wii Fit for example, some work on the exercise bike, but I'm starting slow and building it up."

"I have joined gyms before. Many times. I never stick to it. I hate the gym, I've never felt comfortable in one. I feel unbelievably self conscious in a swimsuit, so I won't be using the pool either. You are my friends (supposedly), you know all this already, so why exactly are you being so unsupportive?"

"Yes, I agree, 1200ish calories does sound like a small amount. That's because I'M TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT! Thousands of people use this site, and as far as I can tell, it's doing people GOOD, not harm. Why not look into it first, before you make comments like that?"

And to the last one:

"Because I'm unhappy. I hate the way I look, and I hate that in the past I've been so lazy (yes, I admit It's my own fault) about doing anything about it. So I'm TRYING. I may fall off the wagon now and then. I may wake up some days and think it's making no difference, that I should just give up. But that's why I tell you these things, so that you can encourage me, not make me feel stupid for trying in the first place!"

MFP is the first lifestyle change I've ever made that I actually feel like I can stick to. It's easy to use, there are people to motivate and encourage you when you need it, people who can comfort you when things aren't working out quite the way you planned, and best of all, people who can applaud your efforts, and make you feel like it IS WORTH IT when things go well. Lets face it, we all need support sometimes. I just wish my so called friends understood that half as well as all you folk I've never even met!

Sorry about that... end of rant... I just needed to get that off my chest.

Replies

  • DeathIsMyGift
    DeathIsMyGift Posts: 434 Member
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    PREACH! One thing that sticks out in my mind is when I tell people I'm losing weight or when they notice it on my body they say "Wow, you look great. What's your secret?" I tell them, "Diet and exercise." Then they say, "oh....ok." Like they are disappointed that I didn't tell them about my magical miracle cure for weight loss. lol
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
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    I applaud you my dear! It took me 48 years to figure out the simple secret......I was fat, cuz I was lazy. Not a bad thing.......just honest.

    As for others, this is what I did (do) I smile, and change the subject!

    Back when I was 30 pounds heavier, and 100% less healthy, the naysayers said the same thing. My BFF would get thsi look on her face like "Count calories, that is stupid" She would say :"Your obsessive"

    Er yeah, about my health!!

    The BEST revenge is to do well. Keep at it. Chip away bit by bit. I promise if you keep it up the 20 min will turn into an hour......I PROMISE.

    THen when you are struttin in a cute bathing suit, size 6 jeans and a healthy glow words will not have to be spoken!:flowerforyou:
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
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    When people ask me how ive lost weight I tell them you have to dance naked under the full moon with a rubber chicken duct tapped to your forhead chanting UNGA BUNGA over and over.
  • ratkins811
    ratkins811 Posts: 190 Member
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    I applaud your efforts. I have been watching my food for almost 2 weeks and havent started exercise. When my family and friends start with their opinions, I try to tell them that if I dont do it slow and small changes it wont be a long term solution. I am trying to improve the way I eat and lose weight without going through "on diet and off diet" craziness. Be proud of yourself and remember its a life change not a quick fix. ~ bec
  • janalayn
    janalayn Posts: 510 Member
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    Ignore them ... You are making good choices for you and that is all that matters. Unfortunately too many people are so unhappy that they just dont' have it in them to be happy or supportive for people around them. I have found exactly what I need on this site for support and inspiration. I am ignoring everyone who has something negative to say (including my mom who thinks I am not losing fast enough)....Do what you need to do for YOU!!!
  • bkelley32148
    bkelley32148 Posts: 279 Member
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    Tell em you are doing more than getting fit, you are saving your wallet too! have they looked at gas prices lately!
  • scha4r
    scha4r Posts: 17 Member
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    Keep at it. They're jealous that they don't have the discipline to do what you're doing.
  • Sh1tsRainbows
    Sh1tsRainbows Posts: 1,227 Member
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    When people ask me how ive lost weight I tell them you have to dance naked under the full moon with a rubber chicken duct tapped to your forhead chanting UNGA BUNGA over and over.

    LOL if only that worked...

    Congrats on trying every little bit helps and if poeple dont understand (even though i bet all of us on MFP do) screw then..theyll see when you reach your goals..no thanks to them!!!!
  • JessPaul93016
    JessPaul93016 Posts: 119 Member
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    When people ask me how ive lost weight I tell them you have to dance naked under the full moon with a rubber chicken duct tapped to your forhead chanting UNGA BUNGA over and over.

    LMAO!!! I may have to steal that one from you! :laugh:
  • bparr
    bparr Posts: 246 Member
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    :drinker: 3 Cheers that You Have Made the Decision to Change :drinker:
    I too had to adjust slowly to changing-- but the funny thing is, every week, I wanted to do a little more....
    I think failure often times happens when you try to dive in over your head and struggle-- it makes it too easy to quit.

    Keep up the forward progress-- tell the other folks to kiss off.
  • ChrisR0128
    ChrisR0128 Posts: 86
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    Dang!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i had the rubber chicken taped somewhere else! LOL that was great
  • Mustangsally1000
    Mustangsally1000 Posts: 860 Member
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    Wonderful rant. I approve whole heartedly. I hear you hand have been subjected to same. But for me..I need to do this for me. What they think is really not important. Yet..it does bother me, as it does you, when it's your friends that don't get it. So, we rant and rave, and just continue along our new path to wellness. And you know, you will be there for them when they come to you
    for help. Good job!
  • Mustangsally1000
    Mustangsally1000 Posts: 860 Member
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    Wonderful rant. I approve whole heartedly. I hear you hand have been subjected to same. But for me..I need to do this for me. What they think is really not important. Yet..it does bother me, as it does you, when it's your friends that don't get it. So, we rant and rave, and just continue along our new path to wellness. And you know, you will be there for them when they come to you
    for help. Good job!
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
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    When people ask me how ive lost weight I tell them you have to dance naked under the full moon with a rubber chicken duct tapped to your forhead chanting UNGA BUNGA over and over.

    LMAO!!! I may have to steal that one from you! :laugh:

    I got tired of people always asking me,and then not being happy to hear it was changing how I eat and exercising more.They also didnt like to hear it took me close to a year to lose 50 pounds.So now I just tell people that.
  • Goal_Seeker_1988
    Goal_Seeker_1988 Posts: 1,619 Member
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    Sounds like ppl in your life are a tad bit envious of you for making healthier lifestyle choices. I'd just continue doin your thing, don't worry bout what other ppl think. Remember you are doin it for you and if they wanna be lazy that's on them. In fact they are probably just jealous over the fact that you are determined to reach your goals and they can't use their mind power to put any effort into making a change in their own life.
  • tkb1985
    tkb1985 Posts: 146 Member
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    Thank you all so much! See that's all I need to keep me going, someone to understand that I HAVE to do this my way, or I just won't stick at it! So I am, and I'll take all your advice and just ignore them, and get on with making my own life better!

    And that dancing under the moon thing is genius!

    I'm so glad I joined MFP!
  • HeidiMightyRawr
    HeidiMightyRawr Posts: 3,343 Member
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    I'm sorry that you've not received the support you should be getting from people who are your "friends." Hopefully you'll find that MFP gives you what you need, each and every person here I'm sure understands what you are doing as they are going through it or have been through it themselves :)

    Don't let it get you down though, some people are never going to be happy - Your doing a great job, everything you do is an improvement on your old lifestyle, keep at it and when you reach your goals you can secretly laugh in the face of everyone who didn't think it was good enough :D
  • lajuana27
    lajuana27 Posts: 13
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    Sounds like you need new friends.

    And also remember, for some people your being unhappy with yourself serves a purpose for them. If you suddenly become hot and confident what will that do to the group dynamic?

    A good person and true friend would NEVER poo-poo on a someone's efforts to do better.


    Again, you need new friends.

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