Family dinner frustrations
Francl27
Posts: 26,371 Member
Cliff notes - the kids don't like what I make, apart from a couple dishes.
It doesn't matter if I add butter or cheese or both to veggies, they complain that they don't like them (they like roasted brussel sprouts, go figure). They hate fish (except fish sticks). My issue too is that dinner is my smallest meal (not by choice, and yes I've tried to change it but I just get too hungry during the day otherwise) so I don't want to make something that has a crazy amount of calories either (like breading or frying everything to make it more 'edible' for them). They do eat most meats though...
I'm not a fantastic cook by any means and can follow a recipe (skinnytaste etc) but frankly I don't like how inaccurate they often end up being (what if my portion has more meat and less veggies? 50-100 extra calories...) and the recipe builder is a pain in the *kitten*, so I often end up cooking everything separately and just making extra noodles/rice/potatoes for the kids (I eat some as well when I have calories to spare). But then that's all they eat. We have to use the 'finish your dinner if you want dessert' thing to make them eat, then they eat a pitiful amount of veggies and complain that they are hungry 15 minutes later (they're 7 yo twins).
How do you deal? Hubby doesn't mind the lighter dinners, he's often not hungry at dinner time and he always snacks after dinner anyway. I'm just seriously losing my mind between trying to figure out something I actually feel like spending my calories on (I often have 400ish calories left) that the kids will also eat. Sometimes I'll want something that I know they won't eat (basically any casserole or all in one dish... no dice) so I make them something else, but I really don't want to end up doing that all the time...
It doesn't matter if I add butter or cheese or both to veggies, they complain that they don't like them (they like roasted brussel sprouts, go figure). They hate fish (except fish sticks). My issue too is that dinner is my smallest meal (not by choice, and yes I've tried to change it but I just get too hungry during the day otherwise) so I don't want to make something that has a crazy amount of calories either (like breading or frying everything to make it more 'edible' for them). They do eat most meats though...
I'm not a fantastic cook by any means and can follow a recipe (skinnytaste etc) but frankly I don't like how inaccurate they often end up being (what if my portion has more meat and less veggies? 50-100 extra calories...) and the recipe builder is a pain in the *kitten*, so I often end up cooking everything separately and just making extra noodles/rice/potatoes for the kids (I eat some as well when I have calories to spare). But then that's all they eat. We have to use the 'finish your dinner if you want dessert' thing to make them eat, then they eat a pitiful amount of veggies and complain that they are hungry 15 minutes later (they're 7 yo twins).
How do you deal? Hubby doesn't mind the lighter dinners, he's often not hungry at dinner time and he always snacks after dinner anyway. I'm just seriously losing my mind between trying to figure out something I actually feel like spending my calories on (I often have 400ish calories left) that the kids will also eat. Sometimes I'll want something that I know they won't eat (basically any casserole or all in one dish... no dice) so I make them something else, but I really don't want to end up doing that all the time...
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Make this as easy as possible for yourself. Come up with four or five dinners (easy to cook and easy to calculate) and rotate them.0
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Yeah but I like variety, lol! Although we end up eating a whole lot of chicken sausages (different kinds at least).0
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I cook dinner, and they either eat that, or they can make themselves a sandwich. They have to have three bites of whatever it is I make.
My kids don't like cooked vegetables for the most part (or I'm bad at cooking them), so they just eat carrots, cucumbers, salads, etc. Fresh stuff. It works for us
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Double post, sorry!0
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Try how i treat a fussy dog.
Put food down, give them a half hour window to eat, if they dont then pick the food up and that its for the night.
Next meal put food down again, half hour window and if not eaten then take the food back
Eventually when they are hungry they will eat.
Don't give in and make more meals, they wont die of starvation0 -
Make this as easy as possible for yourself. Come up with four or five dinners (easy to cook and easy to calculate) and rotate them.
This for sure. I get wanting variety but sometimes it's easier to have a few meals that you cycle during the week.
On a side note: it sounds like you're bowing down to your kids. If it were me they would either eat what I make, not eat at all or make something for themselves. I never could understand making a dozen different meals for a family because of picky eaters.0 -
I don't have any children but am a teacher for 3-6 year olds. Some of my students are great eaters. They'll eat all sorts of veggies, fruits, fish, etc. You should see some of the lunches these kids have. One of my students even eats seaweed- willingly!
On the other hand, I have a number of students who can't say no to vegetables fast enough. In order to get them to eat vegetables at snack, we give them hummus or we make greek yogurt dip. Kids love dip. Sometimes we make ants on a log too (the school is nut free so we can't use PB so we use cream cheese instead).
I'd try that and see if it helps as far as the vegetable situation goes.
ETA: I would lay down the law and tell them you are making ONE meal for the whole family. They can either choose to eat it or they can make themselves a sandwich.0 -
If my kids won't eat what I cook, they don't eat. I have 3 kids who would live off of Sunbutter and jelly sandwiches if I let them. They learned pretty quickly to eat what I give them.
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I had a really long post but it really boils down to a few things. This has gotten my 6 year old from eating fewer than a dozen foods to eating most things we put in front of her. DO NOT make them clean their plates (unhealthy habit). But they must have one bite of everything on their plate; if they don't like it they don't have to finish it, but they must try it. Just keep putting it in front of them, eventually they will get used to seeing it and eating it. After about a year of this dinner got much easier, and my daughter does not put up a fight about trying new things, and has added so much more variety to her diet0
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Also letting her pick from two or three options for dinner every so often has helped0
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These are all meals I make – perhaps they will give you some ideas. ALL low-calorie;
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I'm not a fantastic cook by any means and can follow a recipe (skinnytaste etc) but frankly I don't like how inaccurate they often end up being (what if my portion has more meat and less veggies? 50-100 extra calories...) and the recipe builder is a pain in the *kitten*, so I often end up cooking everything separately and just making extra noodles/rice/potatoes for the kids (I eat some as well when I have calories to spare).
This is always the problem I have with certain recipes. So many of them on sites like skinnytaste look so good, but I always wonder how people get an accurate measurement on them. I don't make a lot of casserole dishes or crock pot recipes for that reason. Makes me a little sad as I love casseroles and crock pot food, but it's nearly impossible to get an accurate calorie count from them. A little off on the calories would be fine, but I'm always worried I'm way off, lol.
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My kids did better with simple things, baked chicken, baked potato, an orange.
I let them know early, "Mama does not run a restaurant, you eat a bite of everything, if you don't like it, make yourself a PB&J sandwich. ".
If you do a salad for yourself, just add some baked chicken. ..give kids chicken, baked potato, milk, an orange. ..they are fine. As for fish, my kids ate salmon, kids will eat healthy food, when given the opportunity.0 -
My 10.5 and 9yrs old kids are usually starving before each meal, so I serve veggies first, since they'll eat just about anything at that moment.
- tofu squares
- avocado
- tomato
- carrot sticks
- snap peas
- edamame
- spinach
- or I pick out the veggies in the dish I make
After they've finished most/all of the veggies, I serve the main course.
Then it's fruit, if they still have room.
If they love the entree so much, such as our homemade pizza or beloved pasta/noodles, they have to have the fruit before 2nd serving of entree.
Then if he's still hungry and want a 3rd serving, he (usually my son, since he's a bottomless pit) has to eat a 2nd serving of veggies before he gets a 3rd serving of entree.
It's been this way since they started eating solids.
Like if I make paella or Chinese chicken and broccoli, I pick out the broccoli/carrots and serve them.
Entree = the chicken/sauce over white rice.
then fruit: ie. blueberries
Yes, it's harder that way (more dishes too), but it totally works for us.
For me, I usually eat the veggies and the protein of the entree.
I leave off the rice/noodles, etc, and eat the protein w/ a side of zucchini or over a bed of spinach, since I could easily eat 2-3 bowls of rice (and still crave more).
Good luck.
Amanda
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I try to do about half and half meals I know my kids will eat and meals I want to make that they will probably complain about. They are required to eat half to 3/4rds of whatever I make or they can't have anything else the rest of the evening.
But some kid friendly, low-ish calorie meals:
English muffin pizzas on whole wheat muffins.
Tacos
BBQ chicken
Fish nuggets (made w/ talapia and shake and bake)
Whole roast chicken
Kid Friendly Salmon
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I have big boys to feed, but I eat every couple hours about 100-150 calories at a time. So, I don't consider dinner to be a full meal for me - I fill their plates with dinner that I choose for them and then just pull out some veggies and a small piece of chicken or something for my plate. We eat together every night, so the togetherness is still there - but I'm not going to eat all that BBQ and whatever other craziness I make for them. Tonight I had a yogurt and cucumbers. They're happy; I'm happy. I'm just not worried about seeing a balanced plate in front of me because I balance my "plate" throughout the day. And ... my boys are old enough that I don't feel I need to set an example in this particular issue any longer. We discuss nutrition and wellness regularly, as we are all pretty active.
As for 7-year-olds, I agree with Laurend224 - if you attempt to please the kids, you'll run yourself ragged. Soon, their tastes will diverge and you'll really be in trouble, lol ...0 -
My 10.5 and 9yrs old kids are usually starving before each meal, so I serve veggies first, since they'll eat just about anything at that moment.
My mom always used to put carrot sticks, cucumbers or celery and peanut butter on the kitchen table about an hour before dinner. Smart woman - I never caught on until I had kids of my own.
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We have 2 options in my house. Take it or leave it. My daughters 9 and always been expected to eat what shes given. Some days she will leave half of it and will have some fruit and yogurt later to top her up but i refuse to act like a resturant cook0
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Try how i treat a fussy dog.
Put food down, give them a half hour window to eat, if they dont then pick the food up and that its for the night.
Next meal put food down again, half hour window and if not eaten then take the food back
Eventually when they are hungry they will eat.
Don't give in and make more meals, they wont die of starvation
I've used this strategy sucessfully on dogs and kids! Eventually they'll eat what they are given. You're also teaching them about balanced diet when you stop giving them what they want at every meal. That said, allowing them to chose a meal every so often will give them some control.0 -
I plan a list of 28 different dinners. I ask dh and dd to tell me 9 meals they would each like to add to the list and I choose the rest. I split the list into groups of 7 so there is something everyone likes each week. The list is posted in the kitchen on the refrigerator so everyone knows in advance what we will be eating that week. I sometimes reuse the list for a couple of months before making a new one.
Dd will not like all or part of dinner a few nights a week and that is fine. She would cheerfully eat the same 3 things every day. She likes more meatless meals and we have them but dh and I are not giving up having meat entirely just because she does not want to eat it. Dh and I both like lots of different foods. I like to cook and am a good cook.
Sometimes dd will eat the main thing or the side dish only. If she doesn't want what I make at all then she can make herself a sandwich, eat cereal or eat leftovers. This is something that is usually decided before the food gets to the table since everyone knows the menu far in advance. I will give her fruit instead of vegetables sometimes because she loves almost all fruit. There are very few vegetable dishes she would eat and we just aren't going to have those every day. She does like vegetables in soups like minestrone. We don't do casseroles often.
I am the only family member who needs to lose weight. In terms of me needing to eat less calories, I take smaller portion sizes of some things and then eat a salad with it. I may skip some part of the meal that dd and dh are eating without replacing it with anything. I drink water or unsweetened tea mostly so i have more calories for food. I pre-log the whole day starting with dinner so I might choose a lighter breakfast or lunch if I see the numbers for dinner are bigger.0 -
These are all meals I make – perhaps they will give you some ideas. ALL low-calorie;
These look amazing! But my kids wouldn't touch them.
And no way I'm telling them they can have a sandwich. It's what I make or nothing, frankly (I just make them something else on days when I know it's something they don't like). Or they'd ask for a sandwich every single night instead of eating their veggies. They've gone to bed hungry quite a few times, honestly. But nope, the whole 'kids won't let themselves go hungry' thing doesn't work in my house, they'll stay hungry if they don't like something. I'm just tired of them not eating after I make dinner for us...
On a side note, I am amazed that some of you have dogs who won't eat their food. Mine would eat the trash if I let him...
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If your children like roasted brussel sprouts, have you tried roasting other vegetables? Almost any non-leafy vegetable is good roasted.
I was an 'eat what I made for dinner' mom, too. But I did try to take the tastes of everyone into account. If they like pasta and rice as a side, have you thought about mixing vegetables in?
Getting children to eat vegetables and teaching them the importance of eating them is often tough. But that's a parent's job. Parenting isn't always easy.0 -
my daughter loves cottage pie, bolognase, chilli and stews, fairly easy to add finely chopped vegetables to them to make sure vegetables are included. i just make sure i have less of the starchy element and make sure she has more. those 4 meals she tends to eat most of what shes given0
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eatingwell.com has tons of kid friendly recipes. I have made the three bean chili and the sloppy joes and some of the chicken dishes. These recipes cut down the meat and increase the veg without sacrificing flavor.0
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You don't actually want to tell them eat x and you'll get dessert. Kids don't need dessert every day. What has worked with my kids (after much whining) is to cook a healthy dinner, with at least one thing they like (sounds like the protein/ meat will work for you). They have to at least try everything. If they don't eat much and ask for food 15 minutes later they know it has to be a healthy snack, fruit, yogurt, veggies, etc...
The older kid is still picky about some things, and now that they are older and have been through this a while there are things they really just don't like though they have given it a try multiple times. Oldest HATES melted cheese, but likes it cold... Youngest hates regular applesauce but likes granny smith and healthy harvest blueberry...
Stick to your gun. Make balanced meals and DO NOT worry that they will starve or be malnourished. It will SUCK at first, but you are the responsible party.0 -
Cook what you want. As my mom said when I was young. Eat or go hungry.
The only thing I would alter for a child is veggies. Raw or cooked.0 -
As I have posted on other threads, I definitely don't have this whole "feeding your kids" thing down so I don't have any great advice for you. My kids are younger (3 and 6), and they just don't eat much, of anything. Doesn't matter if it is pizza, mac n cheese, or chicken nuggets - or grilled chicken, steamed veggies, etc. I too would love making one family meal that everyone eats. Occasionally that happens but more often than not, my kids turn their noses up to what I make too - but I also think that I don't make such "kid friendly" meals.
I don't make whole separate meals for them, but what I do is try to put things on their plate I know they will eat that really don't require much time or energy from me, along with the stuff I want them to try. Last night I grilled Asian marinated chicken, had teriyaki noodles, and grilled asparagus. I put a bit of all that on their plate, but also gave them one chicken nugget each, a couple of baby carrots, steamed white rice (the microwave kind), and some grapes. One ate my grilled chicken, one tried it and didn't like it. Neither liked the teriyaki noodles (proclaimed too spicy which to them just means too flavorful) and they wouldn't touch the asparagus (can't blame them, I wouldn't have when I was a kid). Of their alternative food, they both ate their chicken nugget, one ate a serving of white rice, one only a couple of bites. They each ate the carrots and a couple of grapes. They both said they were full. They asked for dessert, we did have cookies last night, but we don't have dessert every night and I try not to tie it to whether or not they ate their food, but it is hard not to.
Here is a website that has a section called "family meals" to try to get everyone to eat the same thing.
http://weelicious.com/family-meals/
I also agree with you that the whole, "don't give them a choice they will eventually eat it" may not work in every situation. Or maybe it would, but to be honest it is not worth it for me to fight that battle and put all of us through that. My kids eat a variety of things, so it isn't too hard for me to find a couple of things that they will eat while still trying to expose them to new foods as well.
Good luck, this is one of those topics that gets pretty divisive and I know everyone has an opinion on how best to approach it!0 -
I have a ten year old and am a single mom. I have no time to make two meals EVER. The way our house works. I do involve my daughter in meal planning. I have a pad where we write down what we are eating for meals. I make whatever we have planned for that night. My daughter must try what I have made. If she doesn't like it SHE makes her own peanut butter sandwich for dinner. Because it is kind of work for her to make a separate meal, more times than not she ends up eating what I made OR picking out things she likes out of what I have made. The only way I adapt for her is by omitting some of the ingredients from her portion if it is possible.0
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"These look amazing! But my kids wouldn't touch them.
And no way I'm telling them they can have a sandwich. It's what I make or nothing, frankly (I just make them something else on days when I know it's something they don't like). Or they'd ask for a sandwich every single night instead of eating their veggies. They've gone to bed hungry quite a few times, honestly. But nope, the whole 'kids won't let themselves go hungry' thing doesn't work in my house, they'll stay hungry if they don't like something. I'm just tired of them not eating after I make dinner for us..."
No offense, but you asked for advice. The advice is all very similar, but you jjust say "No, that won't work." None of us said it would be easy. It can take months of sticking to your guns to get there. Is it worth it to you?
It seem like you to want validation for your current plan, more than advice on how to change.
Good luck0
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