No wonder you arent losing anything

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thnksfrthmmrs
thnksfrthmmrs Posts: 152 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hi Guys & Dolls.

In need of a bit of a push/friends/support here.

I fell off the band wagon a couple of weeks ago and am struggling to get back on it.

Today has really tipped me over the edge, I didnt manage to get any breakfast because i was so busy at work, when i finally got home, i decided to have a pot noodle for lunch.

Now at the time i was having a conversation with my sister about bridal shops and their prom dresses, at the moment im still very much a plus size so i said to her if we were going to look around for party dresses we have to make sure they stock plus sizes.

With that my dad decides to have a nice dig at me, telling me with a diet like that (because i was eating the pot noodle) its no wonder you arent losing anything. Despite the fact ive lost 3 stone so far. He then went on to tell me i wasnt doing my self any favours. Considering my dad is a large man himself and doesnt have a good diet.

It really upset me and reduced me to tears. He then has had the cheek to come and ask me if i want fish and chips for dinner. Talk about a contradiction, i've said i want nothing, and i will have nothing for the rest of the day. He's put me off wanting to eat anything.

I feel like if my own family can't support me which hope do i have!
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Replies

  • bmontgomery87
    bmontgomery87 Posts: 1,260 Member
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    I'm sorry for what happened.
    It's hard being put down like that, especially from a family member.

    Keep your chin up and keep working towards your goals.
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
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    Next time; ask him what he's done to lose weight lately. He likelye won't say anything like that again to you if you come back at him once.
  • Katrob9
    Katrob9 Posts: 431 Member
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    I know it is hard when people aren't supportive but you have to keep going and keep your goals in mind. Everyone has the odd slip, don't beat yourself up about it, just continue working hard and it'll happen. YOu've done so well already!

    Focus on the good. x
  • steve4580
    steve4580 Posts: 32
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    Maybe you can use this as a motivating factor. I know there have been times in my life when somebody wasn't very encouraging (or even outright discouraging) and I used it to spur me on towards my goal. Kind of like an "I'll show you" kind of thing. Best of luck to you, and don't forget you've already lost so much weight! You can do it!
  • Erica9903
    Erica9903 Posts: 156
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    That can be difficult to handle. I'm sorry he made you feel so upset but you must keep your head up! I have no idea what a pot noodle is nor do I know what a stone weighs :embarassed: but your ticker shows wonderful losses that you should be proud of. You just keep doing what you're doing because it must be working...good luck sweetie!!! :flowerforyou:
  • teanabean
    teanabean Posts: 168 Member
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    First of all, you have done an amazing job. 40 lbs!!! That is AWESOME! Maybe your dad didn't realize how harsh he was being and was trying to have some of that "tough love." I would just tell him it makes you feel awful and to please not comment like that.
    Keep it up hun, you are doing a wonderful job!
  • bjshields
    bjshields Posts: 677 Member
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    You know that saying, "If it's not one thing, it's your mother"? Family can dig at you like nobody else sometimes. I'm so sorry he said such a rotten thing to you. Keep up the good work and don't dwell on it. And next time, maybe you can turn to him and say, "Pot, meet Kettle!":smile:
  • Kirstie_C26
    Kirstie_C26 Posts: 490 Member
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    aww im sorry to hear uve had a bad day hon :( i agree with a previous comment about comin bak with a comment for ur dad wen he starts. dont starve urself just bcos of a stupid oafish comment hon :) u r a beautiful amazing woman who can do anything she sets her mind to xxxx
  • alliebe
    alliebe Posts: 21
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    I have had similiar experiences with my parents, you just have to take it with a grain of salt. You also should know that sometimes when people seeing you lose a lot of weight, they get envious and will say hurtful things out of spite. You keep working hard and know that you are doing this for you and no one else.
  • arwamya
    arwamya Posts: 304
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    Hey love it's alright , sometime family and friends can get cruel . We have all experienced something like this but you've done amazing ! Lost so much already and you can lose a lot more if you want. You will . We believe in you . Shrug it off and get on the wagon :)
  • eeeekie
    eeeekie Posts: 1,011 Member
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    It can be very hard when you have such condescending comments from family members...let alone family members who are heavy themselves and do nothing to change their lifestyles. I do think their hearts are in the right place but the way they come off is very hurtful. People don't tread lightly when approaching others when it comes to the way "it should be done". Did you tell him how hurt your feelings are after his comment? I think maybe instead of punishing yourself (because that's really what you're doing by not eating) you should go to the kitchen and make yourself a very healthy dinner and it eat it while he eats his fried fish and fried chips. That stance in and of itself will make you feel better and will also make him think about the meal he is eating (at least we hope)

    *hugs* Don't let it get you down, don't let it stop you from achieving your goals and keep pushing forward.
  • Helice
    Helice Posts: 1,075 Member
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    you shouldn't be sad, i have a quick pot noodle all the time!
    its better to eat something not that healthy than to eat nothing!!
    and u shouldnt decide to starve yourself, because when u start to feel happier your'l only head straight for that fridge..
    and it will seem like no ammount of food will feel u up! u'l just have like the permanent munchies all night!
    (take it from someone who knows!)
    so dont stop eating!
    and dont listen to him!
    dads can be like that! the last time i saw my dad he poked my belly and said i look like im pregnant... and that was when i use to be skinny.... (at age 10 and like a uk size 4).
    dads are always critical... and contradictive!
    so just ignore him!

    You could always find a way to show him that your the better person!
    Have dinner, and have something healthy! and eat it right next to him. and give him this look like geez thats a bit unhealthy isnt it dad...
    And even though u wont have to say anything.. he should realise how mean he was to u!

    Good luck on ur weight loss journey!
  • chuisle
    chuisle Posts: 1,052 Member
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    I'm sorry that happened to you!

    Just remember, we're all so funny about weight. VERY rarely even from mature and kind people when you talk about your weight is it ever about JUST your weight. It's about their weight too, and their vision of themselves and how you and your weight make them feel. We all have our weight/body issues and it is extrmely difficult NOT to project them onto others.

    That doesn't make what he said okay, but it helps for me when I think someone isn't being supportive, etc.
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
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    Men, especially overweight men, generally have a pretty skewed idea of what the female body should look like. Ignore him. Though you did right to say no to the fish and chips.
  • Neliel
    Neliel Posts: 507 Member
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    We are all in the same boat together here. The people right here are your family and we're all helping each other become smaller, healthier people! Show him what you've got! Prove to yourself that you've got exactly what it takes!
  • amarie35
    amarie35 Posts: 338 Member
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    Girl, YOU CAN do this. Just try to not pay anyone any attention (even family) when they criticize you like that. The best thing that you can do, is prove them ALL wrong. You said that your dad was overweight, maybe he is jealous of you for wanting to get in shape. Perhaps he's always wanted to but he doesn't have the willpower to give up certain foods. Prove to him and everyone else who is in doubt, that you HAVE the willpower and you CAN and WILL make a difference.

    Good luck to you in your weight loss journey. Add me as a friend and I will motivate & support you in any and every way that I can!

    GOD BLESS!! :happy:
  • thnksfrthmmrs
    thnksfrthmmrs Posts: 152 Member
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    Wow

    You lot are actually amazing & have made me feel so much better already.

    Everything everyone has said really makes sense and i can deffiniatly learn from this.

    Im going to take eeekie's advise and cook myself up a lovely healthy meal and say bollocks to him! :)

    I can do this, i know i can. Ive come so far and im not going to roll over and give up that easy.
  • lcoulter23
    lcoulter23 Posts: 568 Member
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    That was a very rude thing for your father to say, and then to ask if you want fish and chips for dinner? wow. I am so sorry sweetie. I have been in that boat before with my family making rude comments about my weight and it is not fun. Don't let them put you off eating though. Find yourself an alternate healthy food to substitute for the fish and chips and it will make you feel better and put dear old dad in his place. I hope your day gets better. And by the way, I think you are gorgeous!
  • MsCracker
    MsCracker Posts: 47 Member
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    I can't say what I would tell you to say to your dad, but it wouldn't be nice. But I'm a little older so I understand your restraint.
    When I was younger, I could never get any positive feedback from my folks. I swear if I turned water into wine they'd say I was an alcoholic.

    In time, you will learn not to let it affect you so deeply. It hurts, but know that HE feels threatened by the changing you. Not only are you physically changing, but I would gather you are gaining confidence and style. You are becoming the beautiful woman that you have always known you were. That's why you're here. So that we can support you in those times when those closet to you cannot or don't.

    Don't let it get to you. You're doing a fantastic job!


    C
  • chrissym78
    chrissym78 Posts: 628 Member
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    Bless your heart!! Don't let him drag you down! Friend me if you want :):flowerforyou:

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