Family dinner frustrations
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I plan a list of 28 different dinners. I ask dh and dd to tell me 9 meals they would each like to add to the list and I choose the rest. I split the list into groups of 7 so there is something everyone likes each week. The list is posted in the kitchen on the refrigerator so everyone knows in advance what we will be eating that week. I sometimes reuse the list for a couple of months before making a new one.
Dd will not like all or part of dinner a few nights a week and that is fine. She would cheerfully eat the same 3 things every day. She likes more meatless meals and we have them but dh and I are not giving up having meat entirely just because she does not want to eat it. Dh and I both like lots of different foods. I like to cook and am a good cook.
Sometimes dd will eat the main thing or the side dish only. If she doesn't want what I make at all then she can make herself a sandwich, eat cereal or eat leftovers. This is something that is usually decided before the food gets to the table since everyone knows the menu far in advance. I will give her fruit instead of vegetables sometimes because she loves almost all fruit. There are very few vegetable dishes she would eat and we just aren't going to have those every day. She does like vegetables in soups like minestrone. We don't do casseroles often.
I am the only family member who needs to lose weight. In terms of me needing to eat less calories, I take smaller portion sizes of some things and then eat a salad with it. I may skip some part of the meal that dd and dh are eating without replacing it with anything. I drink water or unsweetened tea mostly so i have more calories for food. I pre-log the whole day starting with dinner so I might choose a lighter breakfast or lunch if I see the numbers for dinner are bigger.0 -
These are all meals I make – perhaps they will give you some ideas. ALL low-calorie;
These look amazing! But my kids wouldn't touch them.
And no way I'm telling them they can have a sandwich. It's what I make or nothing, frankly (I just make them something else on days when I know it's something they don't like). Or they'd ask for a sandwich every single night instead of eating their veggies. They've gone to bed hungry quite a few times, honestly. But nope, the whole 'kids won't let themselves go hungry' thing doesn't work in my house, they'll stay hungry if they don't like something. I'm just tired of them not eating after I make dinner for us...
On a side note, I am amazed that some of you have dogs who won't eat their food. Mine would eat the trash if I let him...
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If your children like roasted brussel sprouts, have you tried roasting other vegetables? Almost any non-leafy vegetable is good roasted.
I was an 'eat what I made for dinner' mom, too. But I did try to take the tastes of everyone into account. If they like pasta and rice as a side, have you thought about mixing vegetables in?
Getting children to eat vegetables and teaching them the importance of eating them is often tough. But that's a parent's job. Parenting isn't always easy.0 -
my daughter loves cottage pie, bolognase, chilli and stews, fairly easy to add finely chopped vegetables to them to make sure vegetables are included. i just make sure i have less of the starchy element and make sure she has more. those 4 meals she tends to eat most of what shes given0
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eatingwell.com has tons of kid friendly recipes. I have made the three bean chili and the sloppy joes and some of the chicken dishes. These recipes cut down the meat and increase the veg without sacrificing flavor.0
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You don't actually want to tell them eat x and you'll get dessert. Kids don't need dessert every day. What has worked with my kids (after much whining) is to cook a healthy dinner, with at least one thing they like (sounds like the protein/ meat will work for you). They have to at least try everything. If they don't eat much and ask for food 15 minutes later they know it has to be a healthy snack, fruit, yogurt, veggies, etc...
The older kid is still picky about some things, and now that they are older and have been through this a while there are things they really just don't like though they have given it a try multiple times. Oldest HATES melted cheese, but likes it cold... Youngest hates regular applesauce but likes granny smith and healthy harvest blueberry...
Stick to your gun. Make balanced meals and DO NOT worry that they will starve or be malnourished. It will SUCK at first, but you are the responsible party.0 -
Cook what you want. As my mom said when I was young. Eat or go hungry.
The only thing I would alter for a child is veggies. Raw or cooked.0 -
As I have posted on other threads, I definitely don't have this whole "feeding your kids" thing down so I don't have any great advice for you. My kids are younger (3 and 6), and they just don't eat much, of anything. Doesn't matter if it is pizza, mac n cheese, or chicken nuggets - or grilled chicken, steamed veggies, etc. I too would love making one family meal that everyone eats. Occasionally that happens but more often than not, my kids turn their noses up to what I make too - but I also think that I don't make such "kid friendly" meals.
I don't make whole separate meals for them, but what I do is try to put things on their plate I know they will eat that really don't require much time or energy from me, along with the stuff I want them to try. Last night I grilled Asian marinated chicken, had teriyaki noodles, and grilled asparagus. I put a bit of all that on their plate, but also gave them one chicken nugget each, a couple of baby carrots, steamed white rice (the microwave kind), and some grapes. One ate my grilled chicken, one tried it and didn't like it. Neither liked the teriyaki noodles (proclaimed too spicy which to them just means too flavorful) and they wouldn't touch the asparagus (can't blame them, I wouldn't have when I was a kid). Of their alternative food, they both ate their chicken nugget, one ate a serving of white rice, one only a couple of bites. They each ate the carrots and a couple of grapes. They both said they were full. They asked for dessert, we did have cookies last night, but we don't have dessert every night and I try not to tie it to whether or not they ate their food, but it is hard not to.
Here is a website that has a section called "family meals" to try to get everyone to eat the same thing.
http://weelicious.com/family-meals/
I also agree with you that the whole, "don't give them a choice they will eventually eat it" may not work in every situation. Or maybe it would, but to be honest it is not worth it for me to fight that battle and put all of us through that. My kids eat a variety of things, so it isn't too hard for me to find a couple of things that they will eat while still trying to expose them to new foods as well.
Good luck, this is one of those topics that gets pretty divisive and I know everyone has an opinion on how best to approach it!0 -
I have a ten year old and am a single mom. I have no time to make two meals EVER. The way our house works. I do involve my daughter in meal planning. I have a pad where we write down what we are eating for meals. I make whatever we have planned for that night. My daughter must try what I have made. If she doesn't like it SHE makes her own peanut butter sandwich for dinner. Because it is kind of work for her to make a separate meal, more times than not she ends up eating what I made OR picking out things she likes out of what I have made. The only way I adapt for her is by omitting some of the ingredients from her portion if it is possible.0
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"These look amazing! But my kids wouldn't touch them.
And no way I'm telling them they can have a sandwich. It's what I make or nothing, frankly (I just make them something else on days when I know it's something they don't like). Or they'd ask for a sandwich every single night instead of eating their veggies. They've gone to bed hungry quite a few times, honestly. But nope, the whole 'kids won't let themselves go hungry' thing doesn't work in my house, they'll stay hungry if they don't like something. I'm just tired of them not eating after I make dinner for us..."
No offense, but you asked for advice. The advice is all very similar, but you jjust say "No, that won't work." None of us said it would be easy. It can take months of sticking to your guns to get there. Is it worth it to you?
It seem like you to want validation for your current plan, more than advice on how to change.
Good luck0 -
I use an app called paprika heavily for meal planning. You can search for recipes and create your own cookbook. Over time I have saved lots of recipes that fit into my meal plan. We often browse it to do the meal planning. She gets choices -- all of which are acceptable to my diet.0
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Do your kids eat veg if it's incorporated into a sauce, such as with pasta? In that case, to avoid a 'false' calorie count, you could grill your meat separately. Then make a veggie packed sauce and boil some pasta. Then put however much protein and veg aside as you want for yourself and toss the rest of the food in the pan with the pasta as a meal for your kids.
Have you tried pureeing the veg or using them in mash? Again, you could put some to the side for yourself before putting things together.
But in the end I think they should just learn to eat it. I always had to have at least 5 bites of anything on my plate, then if I still honestly didn't like it, I could leave it, but I would have to try again the next day. And I'd eat anything tossed with apple sauce, haha. What is it about brussel sprouts that your kids like?0 -
Make them eat it or go to bed hungry, they will learn to like it!0
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rides4sanity wrote: »"These look amazing! But my kids wouldn't touch them.
And no way I'm telling them they can have a sandwich. It's what I make or nothing, frankly (I just make them something else on days when I know it's something they don't like). Or they'd ask for a sandwich every single night instead of eating their veggies. They've gone to bed hungry quite a few times, honestly. But nope, the whole 'kids won't let themselves go hungry' thing doesn't work in my house, they'll stay hungry if they don't like something. I'm just tired of them not eating after I make dinner for us..."
No offense, but you asked for advice. The advice is all very similar, but you jjust say "No, that won't work." None of us said it would be easy. It can take months of sticking to your guns to get there. Is it worth it to you?
It seem like you to want validation for your current plan, more than advice on how to change.
Good luck
Well no offense, but my kids are picky. And I'm not a short order cook and will not let them have something else if they don't like it... period. I asked how people deal with it, and I appreciate the answers, and it's good if it works for them, but there are some things I just don't want to do.
I do try to give them at least one thing they'll like, it's just frustrating if they only eat the noodles or something... They don't really like roasted veggies more than steamed though, apparently (except Brussel sprouts, which I just bought more of). And no they don't like pasta with sauce either (aaaargh).
I do agree with not telling them they can't have dessert if they finish their dinner, but my husband started that one unfortunately and I can't do much about it. It seems to help getting them to eat their veggies though, most of the time (at least to try them the first time). And dessert is typically just a couple marshmallows, a 35 calorie ice cream pop or a cookie.
I'll look up those websites you guys linked, thanks!0 -
So, just to get an idea here.. what do they eat? Apart from meat and brussel sprouts.0
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I don't make separate meals for my picky children either. Nor did I suggest that. The thing about dessert isn't the calories as much as the habit it starts. Anyway. I'm sorry that I offended you, and am glad you are checking the links.0
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I grew up in a 'no dessert if you don't finish dinner' household. I don't see anything wrong with it. I actually think it's a pretty good way to teach children that desserts should be treats and not dietary staples.0
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So, just to get an idea here.. what do they eat? Apart from meat and brussel sprouts.
Well meat-wise, they're not that picky, my son won't eat fish, but otherwise they'll eat pretty much anything as long as it's not spicy (even meat loaf). They'll eat eggs once in a while.
Veggies - green beans, peas, sugar snap peas, corn (I know, I know...). Carrots are mostly a miss. Roasted cauliflower is 'usually' ok. Son doesn't like sweet potatoes. Daughter doesn't like broccoli. They like potatoes in most forms (except baked for my son) and mashed cauliflower. They don't like onions, peppers, squash (daughter likes spaghetti squash once in a while) and pretty much everything else.
They'll eat pasta with parmesan cheese but no sauce, plain rice, egg noodles... they don't like couscous anymore either.
That's pretty much it... Obviously they like most 'junk' food but not peanut butter and my daughter 'hates cheese' (except in tacos, even though it's the same cheese, and parmesan on pasta). They won't eat things that are mixed up together except meat loaf (even my shepherd's pie even though it's only things they typically eat).
They'd probably eat breaded fish and whatnot, but I can't always fit that in my calories and it's a pain to figure out the calories for those anyway... I guess it would be easier to feed them if I could add butter and whatnot to everything to make it tastier for them (although I tried with broccoli and it was still a no go!).0 -
I'm not a fantastic cook by any means and can follow a recipe (skinnytaste etc) but frankly I don't like how inaccurate they often end up being (what if my portion has more meat and less veggies? 50-100 extra calories...) and the recipe builder is a pain in the *kitten*, so I often end up cooking everything separately and just making extra noodles/rice/potatoes for the kids (I eat some as well when I have calories to spare).
This is always the problem I have with certain recipes. So many of them on sites like skinnytaste look so good, but I always wonder how people get an accurate measurement on them. I don't make a lot of casserole dishes or crock pot recipes for that reason. Makes me a little sad as I love casseroles and crock pot food, but it's nearly impossible to get an accurate calorie count from them. A little off on the calories would be fine, but I'm always worried I'm way off, lol.
I always put them in the recipe builder - that way I can determine how many servings it is and if I decide to leave something out, or replace it with something else I know how many calories it is. I think the recipe builder has gotten better - have you tried it lately?0 -
I'm not a fantastic cook by any means and can follow a recipe (skinnytaste etc) but frankly I don't like how inaccurate they often end up being (what if my portion has more meat and less veggies? 50-100 extra calories...) and the recipe builder is a pain in the *kitten*, so I often end up cooking everything separately and just making extra noodles/rice/potatoes for the kids (I eat some as well when I have calories to spare).
This is always the problem I have with certain recipes. So many of them on sites like skinnytaste look so good, but I always wonder how people get an accurate measurement on them. I don't make a lot of casserole dishes or crock pot recipes for that reason. Makes me a little sad as I love casseroles and crock pot food, but it's nearly impossible to get an accurate calorie count from them. A little off on the calories would be fine, but I'm always worried I'm way off, lol.
I always put them in the recipe builder - that way I can determine how many servings it is and if I decide to leave something out, or replace it with something else I know how many calories it is. I think the recipe builder has gotten better - have you tried it lately?
Yeah it's very buggy and annoying for me
I still use it but it really doesn't encourage me to make more recipes. 0
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