Tips for motivating spouse needed

It can be frustrating, but hang in there. I decide to go alcohol free for weeks at a time and what does mine do? Opens a nice bottle of wine.

I have learned that I just need to do it, including dinner, on my own sometimes. Be clear with him your intentions for your diet and fitness routines and follow through with your plan. If he goes his own path, he should shop for it himself, cook it himself and clean it himself. He may miss sharing these things with you and settle down.

He may not at first, but once he starts seeing your positive changes that might be an extra incentive for him.

I've been on my journey a little over a yr and a half now and I have lost 89 pounds along the way. My husband would always say he wanted to get healthy too, but would never stick with it. I never said anything to him...I just let him do his own thing. Now my husband has been making healthy changes for a month now (which is a lot longer than his last attempts). I think once you start on a healthier path and he sees the results, he will soon follow.

how about this, I am trying to get my wife on board, but I have a hard time anyway with the diet. Somethings I came up with. We both have Vivosmarts, the one with the highest step total for the day gets a point, if you do a workout that day you get a point, so you can either get 0,1,or 2 points for the day, we keep track and at the end of the year, the winner chooses an "adult only" vacation, so far I am ahead of my wife 13-11. But eating healthy, that is the crux of the issue. 1. Eat out less. 2. he can eat his chips, go to your store and find the Healthiest chips in the store, or even better, make "homemade" chips with a frying pan, VOO and sea salt, pepper, or other spices he enjoys. I love a good beer, I would drink 3-4 a night, I switched to Yuengling light (99 cal) no more than two a night, grauating to only when I eat out with the family or special occasion , ie superbowl but stick to light beer. So he likes Long Island Ice tea's for every Tea, he must drink 20 oz of water before the next one, I've learned when eating out, 1 beer then 1 water, befeor Beer 2...you fill up pretty quick. Taco's are fine, again, try and make them healthier, say whole grain shells, with chicken, Avacodo, salsa, cheese. To lower his HDL he will need to strength train more, and eat Oatmeal, Apples, and other foods that will lower HDL. I LOVE Buffalo wings, but I cam up with my homemade version, I buy the chicken, I bake them with some spices and sauce, they are healthier because they are baked, not deep fried, I broil them for 15 min after cooked to get them crispy, or I eat plain chicken breast grilled then dipped and placed on my salad.

Margarita's...again, see where you can lower the calories, see where you can make it somewhat healthy yet enjoyable.

You don't have to give up the things he loves, just modify them, or lower the intake of them. I wnjoy the 80/20 rule...80 % healthy, 20% my junk food.

little changes can make a huge difference and a little fun to the mix, life is a balance, try and find the balance between the foods you both enjoy and making them healthier.

But Weight training and Oatmeal will really help lower the HDL

As the token lazy, unhealthy husband, I have to say there's almost nothing you can do if he does not really want to change and it is pretty clear that he does not want to regardless of what he says. My wife tried for years to get me to live a more healthy lifestyle to little or no avail. I made some efforts but did not kick into high gear until we are now looking at divorce. I am not recommending that tactic, by the way, and I am doing everything I can to save the marriage but it might be too late. Show him this thread and tell him I said that he should man up and start taking responsibility.

I do most of the cooking so my husband eats healthier at home because of it. He'll also take leftovers to work most days as well. His problem is he'll eat more than he needs to or snack on food right after dinner even though he's not hungry. He works out 3 times a week so I'm not worried about his health. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.
Have you tried going for after dinner walks? Keeps him away from food and gets in some exercise.

OK my wife and I are still doing our contest I won, February! but this month we are getting up at 4:30AM and working out together, Before work, we are rotating between Strength Exercise and PiYo workouts, with some other things in between and breaks. This I hope gets my wife on the workout kick for good

I'm having the same problem-he talks the talk but won't walk the walk so to speak. I don't know how to motivate him, since I've always been the kind of girl who lets people be themselves and not nag about things. I think I may have to start the nag though-I don't want to wake up in the morning beside someone who's had a heart attack in the night-that's my main concern right now. I cook healthy meals every night, and he'll eat them, but there's no portion control at all. He'll also run across the street to the corner store and buy a bag of chips/box of cookies and eat them in one sitting. I'm having a hard enough time on my own staying motivated some days! So yes, advice and tips are appreciated!!

I'm in the same boat. My husband is probably 85 lbs. overweight (in the obese category) but he's a big guy so he doesn't look as heavy as he is. He is also diabetic and has a sedentary job (computer software development and project management). He has a gym at his workplace but will get up early enough to go only once a week for about 25 minutes, not anywhere near enough to compensate for 12-14 hours straight of sitting. His schedule is such that we can't take walks together. I control what we have at home because I do all the shopping and I don't bring any junk home and I make his lunches, but I can't control what he eats if he has late work nights. He's also on the board of Little League baseball and does some coaching, so he gets some light exercise there, but after the weekly board meetings they always go out to a bar to eat pub food and drink beer. I've found that I can only control the environment I live in, so that's what I've resigned myself to, so at least he's not eating chips and garbage while at home, and he doesn't have the time to go to the store and buy the stuff himself. I guess it's kind of like living an alcoholic. I don't have to keep the objectionable substance in the house, but the addict will always find a way to go out and get it.

One way that it was put to me:

"Everyone wants it. Not everyone wants to work for it."

There are several things that you can try, but from personal experience with friends and family, he's not going to stick with it unless he wants to. You can do something to get it started, but that initial spark only "gets" you going, it doesn't "keep" you going. I have tried:

- "Let's do it together! Everyone loves a little friendly competition."

That failed because "everyone loves a little friendly competition," until they feel as though they're losing. Then they get discouraged and quit. I've even seen "leading by example" fail. One person begins to get in shape, and the other chooses to wallow in self pity:

- You're starting to look so good. I know you're going to leave me for some hottie at the gym because I'm so fat and lazy.
- Why don't you come to the gym with me? Let's get in shape together.
- Nah. I'd rather stay here feeling sorry for myself, and hope for the best.

This is that old "lead a horse to water" adage, I'm afraid. For me, it was seeing a friend after 4 years, that was skinnier than me when he moved across country, and I was rail thin. 4 years later, the guy looked like a body builder. Then and there I decided "if he can do it, I can do it," and I've been at it ever since. I think the best that you can hope for is to continue on your path, and hope he eventually gets spurred into action. If/when he does, you will be there to say "awesome! Let's do it together!"