Should I be hurt by this?

Sounds to me like she's trying to take advantage of your kindness.

I agree.
A Qoute "Don't mistake my kindness for weakness" I think YOU definately fit this qoute! :flowerforyou: Feel better it'll be ok. Some people are only chapters in our lives. I personally would go back up to the school on a day I know she's not there and get it done with someone new.
Have a good weekend! One good way to feel better WORK OUT and release some endorphins!:drinker: :bigsmile: See now this post is MFP Certified!

It sounds like she's seriously taking advantage of your generosity and concern for her financial well-being. Back to the beauty school.... feel no guilt! And yes, I think you have a reason to feel hurt.

I agree with most everyone else who said, "I would feel hurt by that." It would most definitely hurt my feelings, and has in the past when simular situations happened. Mixing friendships and money generally ends badly.

That being said, I do see things a bit differently. While my feelings were hurt in the past from simular situations the lesson I learned from those experiences is this. If I find myself keeping a tally of money I've "lent" friends, dinners I've paid for, outings I helped finance, whatever the situation, then I need to learn to the word, "No."

My rule of thumb is I never "Lend" a friend money, period, end of sentence. I give them money, as I can afford it, but I go into the situation with NO expectation of being paid back. If I can't afford to never see that money again, then I don't get the jeopardize the friendship by lending it out. 95% of the time, I get paid back, woot and awesome. %5 of the time I don't. Those times I don't care because I never expected to be paid back in the first place, even if they said they would. They can say whatever they want, I don't lend the money with the expectation of seeing it again, so I am either surprised by the return or considered it a gift from the get-go.

I don't keep running tallies in my head of what I've done for other people. I do things for other people because I want to and can. It makes my life much simpler. I used to think I didn't keep running tallies, but I noticed that when someone didn't do something I expected from them, I would mentally run through all the "nice" things I'd done for them. I realized that no matter what I told myself, the truth was I wasn't doing those things "just to be nice," I was doing those things with the expectation of something in return later on down the road. That generally ended up with me hurt and feeling betrayed.

I can't control anyone else's actions or morals, but I can control mine. I really really really enjoy doing nice things for people I care about and I'm not going to let my own expectations of them turn that feeling into hurt and betrayal. The funny thing is, since I started acting in this way, rarely have I been "taken advantage of." I don't just toss out money willy nilly to anyone who asks me for it, learning to say "No" when it really isn't convenient or easy for me to do something has weeded out the folks that like to take advantage of people. They generally disappear from my life after the first "No," and thus are longer an issue to deal with.

Now certainly when I started acting this way, I was shocked to see how many "long time friends" got angry and upset at me for setting boundaries and I could understand their anger, I was changing the rules of our friendship, and I lost a few long time friends over that. Accepting that some of those "long term friends" weren't really friends was hard, but necessary if I was going clean my life up. Now the folks I have around me are folks that are totally Ok with the word No and are just as giving as I am. Part of being a giving person includes the responsibility of setting boundaries.