Starving yourself

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deadmittens
deadmittens Posts: 536 Member
in Motivation and Support
So, I've lost about 30 lbs so far (I dropped a few before using this site). I know I'm a bigger girl so it's hard to see the difference, but I can sort of see the difference in myself...

The other night at a company dinner I was walking with a girl who noticed our friend (whose "average size", so her weight loss is very evident as she lost about 24 lbs) and said "God I can't believe how much weight she's lost." I mention my own weight loss (I forget how it came up, but I'm not a bragger about my diet normally!) and the girl says "Yeah, but you're not starving yourself." In a tone that sounds like I SHOULD give that a try.

Needless to say, I didn't really want to eat breakfast the next morning. I don't understand how this girl starves herself (she won't eat all day, then will eat a big/average dinner and drinks regular pop all day) and drops 24 lbs. I do 1300 calories a day and it's still a struggle to shed weight!! Ughhh. I just needed to rant.

Is there anyone out there who feels like their weight loss and hard work is going unnoticed? Please rant here!
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Replies

  • makeachange22
    makeachange22 Posts: 151
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    YES ! completely, sometimes i'll mention because i have never gone on a diet and i am so proud of myself for finally doing something, and no one says anything ? my family will sometimes say something but only the ones who know im on the diet, it really hurts like i know its not always proper to say hey are you losing weight ? but still... it would be nice if one random person told me
  • Purple_Orchid_87
    Purple_Orchid_87 Posts: 517 Member
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    people who see me everyday are not noticing, but there are ppl at work i aint seen in the 5 weeks ive been on my journey - its those ppl who are noticing
    also, i bumped into an old male friend of mine who i aint seen for 4 weeks, and HE commented too

    none of the people who have commented to me so far actually know im on a new diet/lifestyle so theyre either being extra polite and making it up, or they can really see a difference....

    just remember your own reasons for your journey, its not a race, you dont have to lose huge amounts in a matter of weeks anyway....

    keep your chin up, and remember its YOUR journey, not starvation girl's :o)
  • spoofed
    spoofed Posts: 11
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    People who lose weight that quickly by starving themself won't keep it off. If you do it the way you are, which takes longer, is hard and sometimes slow, it'll stay off! It's just sooo much better this way for a variety of reasons, including staying healthy by getting the proper nutrients. Someone who doesn't eat much and only drinks soda isn't getting enough of anything--and it's bad for you mentally and physically.

    I used to be about 60 pounds heavier than I am now. It took a long time, maybe a combination of about 2 years to lose it all. I've kept it off though, for the most part, for about 3 years. I think you can do it. Just have patience with yourself, be kind to yourself, and know that you ARE doing it!

    Congrats on the success so far! Don't be discouraged! Stay motivated!
  • Nekoashi
    Nekoashi Posts: 220 Member
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    I don't know how they are doing it if they only eat one giant meal a day and still drink regular soda. I've been cutting back on my calories and counting everything I eat and its so very hard to not go over my 1500 cal limit :( I can see your frustration! And no one should starve themselves to lose weight, its very unhealthy and bad for the body
  • sunnymoon8
    sunnymoon8 Posts: 14 Member
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    I was feeling that way for a little bit because I was not losing much. Its taken me a while to lose 22 pounds. I am sure you can tell in your clothes you are slimming down. Starving is not good for you. Your body goes into starvation mode. All that pop and not eating all day is real bad. Keep doing what you are doing and know t hat you will get there the healthy way. I am a big girl too and I can get frustrated, but I keep on it and try not to weigh myself more than once a week. Keep in mind if you are exercising you are gaining muscle. Hang in there!
  • realme56
    realme56 Posts: 1,093 Member
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    I finally had someone notice it independently the other day. She had not been at work for about 4 weeks so it was more evident to her. The people who see me every day don't notice as much.

    It just gives me more determination to get to where people HAVE to notice!

    Also your friend's comment may have been well intended toward you by saying that you were not doing some thing dangerous like the other girl was.

    Anyway....rant away, it is good for the soul! But have faith in yourself and this process, if weight loss was easy, none of us would be here!
  • ChRiStA_1983
    ChRiStA_1983 Posts: 380 Member
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    Also keep in mind that the girl can't starve herself forever! That's not a sustainable way to lose weight, and keep it off. YOU, on the other hand, are being SENSIBLE, and therefore it's something that can (and WILL!) be continued in the long-term.

    In my experience with watching others who have lost weight, those who rely on the starvation or fad diet techniques tend to put all of the weight back on (and then some!)..

    Just continue to lose steadily as you have been, and your results will last you a lifetime! Be proud of those 30 pounds! That's fantastic! :)
  • bwneau
    bwneau Posts: 14
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    By starving herself, she's causing her weight to drop drastically over a very short time, but then plateau after only a few weeks. A lot of that weight ends up being water loss due to lack of sodium intake. In addition, she's causing her liver to process an obnoxious amount of bodily waste from her fat stores (thus shortening the life of said liver).

    While her weight loss may look amazing, as soon as she returns to normal eating, she'll earn at least half of it back, unless she continues to starve herself. If she keeps this up for prolonged periods, she is heading for a nice trip to the hospital sometime in the next few months.

    Moral of the story, starving yourself is NOT healthy living. Keep eating healthy, exercise, and control your weight loss.

    [EDIT] I should also note that she is also losing a lot of muscle mass from that starvation, again not healthy.
  • chubswonky
    chubswonky Posts: 195
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    She will spend a lifetime of starving herself, while you will get to your goal weight, in your own time, and you will be much healthier and happier for it.

    Only a few people have mentioned my loss- not a SOUL at work has said anything,whichI find discouraging but we have to keep going. As long as YOU notice the difference! We need to cheer ourselves and each other on!! :)
  • JillyCornwall
    JillyCornwall Posts: 376 Member
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    Yes, friends can be brutal sometimes...I'm sure they don't mean to be..but they can. I think that you should feel quite smug about your weight loss and pity the girl who starves..because you will have lost 30lbs of mainly fat and when you reach your target weight you will be happy and healthy and look fantastic..whereas if she continues to starve herself she will be unhealthy, will probably have lost a great percentage of her lean tissue/muscle and will struggle for the rest of her life to keep her weight down...how do I know this for sure...because I was like that girl.......and only now at 59 have I realised how I have wrecked my body for years....be glad you have learnt whilst young.
  • Case0099
    Case0099 Posts: 38 Member
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    just think you could strave yourself and be super grumpy, unhealthy, and slow/stop your weight loss progress. or eat and be happy, girls are mean, everyone knows that. that girl who said that probably is just upset because she is starving herself to lose weight and it isn't working for her! keep your head up and keep going!!
  • cowpoke06
    cowpoke06 Posts: 171
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    A) That girl is a complete bia for saying that to you. Like somehow her losing weight is better than you're losing weight. Starving yourself is the "easy" way out. We've all tried it. And guess what, it doesn' effing work. It might for a little while but you can't starve yourself forever and when you start eating like a normal person it's all going to come back. Plus, she's just gonna die earlier anyways because that's what happens when you deprive your body of essential nutrients. What she should have said as a normal human being operating in society is "Oh my gosh that's great! I know how hard it is..." because it's true, it is great and it is hard.

    B) Screw her. You're doing a fantastic job. It does suck that her weight loss was noticed and yours wasn't. The bigger we are, the more we have to lose before someone will notice unfortunately. It's hard to not care what other people think and it's hard not to care about what other people say, especially in that situation. But you are doing fantastic. Not only are losing weight to be a happier you, your doing it right so that you can be a healthy you. I repeat. Screw her.

    As more weight comes off, people will notice. And it will feel awesome. I'm not there by any means only being 5 pounds down. 30 seems like a distant dream. But hey, that's what mfp is for :) We all appreciate the struggle and the effort it takes. And we all appreciate you. Keep on keepin' on. You're doing fantastic and I'm jealous!
  • lsd007
    lsd007 Posts: 435
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    I didn't get my first comment until 2 days ago, after 27 pounds lost. They WILL come eventually, just be patient! People who see you daily won't notice, and people who haven't saw you in a REALLY long time may either not notice, or be afraid to say something in case they have the wrong image of you in their head from before--sounds silly but ppl have told me that before. Just keep working hard, you'll get the credit you deserve before too long. (-:
  • DrMaryMatthews
    DrMaryMatthews Posts: 8 Member
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    Sure! I think we all fee that way from time to time.

    A thinner person will loose weight and fewer pounds look more noticeable on them because it is a larger percent of their over all body mass. For us "larger" (100+ to loose folks) it doesn't "show up" as fast.

    BUT:
    - a person who is normal weight could not carry the 100+ pounds around with them every day, all day, everywhere. It would be so hard, and the strength/calories required to do that are really pretty amazing. So it doesn't really make sense to compare ourselves to them.

    AND
    - for a person to be able to deprive/starve themselves of food all day long, and only eat at night may indicate some really unhealthy body issues too. They are unseen by you and I, but they are often there and so so sad.

    Eating disorders don't just come in plus sizes. Focus on your health, and your GREAT progress, and know that you are doing what is right for you.
  • Helena4
    Helena4 Posts: 124
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    think of it this way....
    you're doing it a healthy way, still enjoying eating, still allowing yourself the odd treat and still loosing weight.

    she is...
    probably in pain from being so hungry, constantly thinking about her 'big' meal at dinner, having too much sugar in her system from drinking soda all day, loosing it in an unhealthy way, won't keep it off for good, have numerous health conditions because of lack of nutrition and is probably quite unhappy even if she doesn't show it...

    i know which i'd rather be :) you're doing it the right way, even if it's the slower way....ultimatly, it will last longer :)
  • ccwicks
    ccwicks Posts: 39
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    Don't worry about the noise, you're doing great and I (we all have) noticed and commented on all the hard work and progress to date by you! Congratulations and stay the course as we are seeing the new you in progress and you're doing and looking great!!!
  • jenhasit
    jenhasit Posts: 83 Member
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    I definitely hear you. It can be hard. I've lost over 50 lbs since December (23 since joining this site). I was really heavy, and while people are saying "you look so healthy" or what-have-you, I'm just remembering I'm doing it for me.

    It's hard because I joined a "Biggest Loser" club at work, and one of the people involved keeps doing back to back cleanses. It makes me SO mad because I feel like I'm trying to lose the right way, and they are being celebrated as a success.... it makes me WANT to do cleanses and all the easy stuff they are doing -- but I won't. Slow and steady.

    I remind myself I didn't pack it on overnight - so it's not coming off that easy either..
  • deadmittens
    deadmittens Posts: 536 Member
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    Thanks guys :)
  • SiltyPigeon
    SiltyPigeon Posts: 920 Member
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    Wow. A few second hand sentences about some girl nobody knows and all of a sudden everyone is an expert about her mind state, her liver, her fat, how long she can keep it off, what the rest of her life is going to be like, and so on and so forth. Did anyone stop to think that this is a real person your talking about and we really don't know anything about her, her habits, or her body? I have a feeling this girl has real emotions and would be really hurt to find out someone was blogging on a public forum about her.

    To the OP: Perhaps the comment your friend made hurt your feelings. Just remember that this girl does have feelings, just like you do. You have no idea what goes on behind her closed door. We should ALL be supporting each other. Not tearing each other down because he/she is fatter, skinner, healthier, prettier, has it harder, etc etc etc. So maybe your feelings were hurt. Don't hurt hers in retribution.

    Back to everyone: Lets all work to make a community where we teach those who are ready to be taught and catch those who are falling.
  • laurasnyder411
    laurasnyder411 Posts: 172 Member
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    My best friend and I had babies within two months of each other. She's now skinnier than she was before pregnancy and blames it on stress. I, however, have packed on and kept on about 30 extra lbs. The other night she asked me if I'd lost weight (because she had noticed which was nice). I told her it was slow going and tough and she starts telling me how it'll just happen like it did with her. Girl! I worked to get this far, and I'll be working to get even further...not to mention, I'm living healthier now- I'm not so sure stress weight loss is something to be proud of. It is quite frustrating that some of us blink and the weight comes off...and others fight the battle every day. And FYI, I've tried the starvation route and it doesn't work and it makes you super crabby. So, I feel happy doing it MY WAY.

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