Here I am...again.

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katherir
katherir Posts: 4 Member
in Introduce Yourself
I've been on MyFitness Pal on and off for 4 years, but I never got involved in the community aspect of the program. Today is a hard day after not stepping on the scale for 2 months, and it was great to not only read some posts from folks that are feeling similar to myself, but those that are on track to hit their goal and loving it.

That said, I've gained back every pound that I lost 2 years ago. I'm in a great relationship with a man who used to be an athlete, so we were just eating whatever we wanted. Uhhh, bad idea. The combination of him genuinely not knowing what is good/bad for a diet (he could always eat whatever he wanted), and me working on my cooking skills, as well as just disregarding everything I knew about a healthy diet, has led us both to the highest weights of our lives.

Not a great feeling. Mainly, I'm just really disappointed in myself for letting it go. I was so happy and felt so powerful when I was 50 lbs thinner. I still feel powerful, but a lot of my confidence in my sex appeal has gone out the window. I remember the last time I decided I was going to lose weight. It was like a switch went off in my brain, and I stuck to my plan 150%. Honestly, it's way harder when you're carrying someone along that doesn't understand nutrition very well. His ignorance makes it easy for me to justify a second bowl of cereal, or another piece of bacon. (Ughhhh. Delicious bacon!)

I know I can do this, I just have to flick the switch. Anyone else ever been in this boat, or one similar? I feel like our collective weight gain is my fault. I knew better. I was just living the gourmet macaroni and cheese high life.

Replies

  • vypeters
    vypeters Posts: 475 Member
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    First thing I'd recommend you do is let go of the blame and shame. For your gain as well, but especially for his. He's a big boy and is responsible for his own weight. If he ate whatever he wanted before, it's likely he would have gained this weight without you. Happens to a lot of men: they can eat whatever they want, then their muscle mass drops, their metabolism drops...and presto they can't any more.

    You can do this. But guilt will hold you back, especially if you like me are a stress eater.
  • wizzybeth
    wizzybeth Posts: 3,578 Member
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    I don't have your situation exactly but I've spent the last 20 years with a man who can literally lose weight by simply quitting potato chips - he can drop 15 lbs in no time (and he doesn't eat a lot of chips anyway). I can deny myself soda (which he doesn't drink) and all sorts of sweets...and struggle to lose anything at all unless I am diligent at tracking and making sure I eat healthy foods.

    I'm in the on again, off again boat. I too am at the highest weight of my life, and am a good 20 lbs heavier than I was last August...when I was so proud of losing that 20 lbs that I worked all summer to lose. Won't go into my excuses and "reasons" - we all have a similar story and it amounts to "I stopped paying attention to what I ate..." and I also stopped exercising (I rode my bike all summer in spite of being embarrased by my fat butt on a bike..) I quit sometime around Sept with the intention of getting in a spin class at the gym. Uh huh. Yeah, well, I'm back, dusted off, heavier, and humbled. I can do this - so can you! :)
  • katherir
    katherir Posts: 4 Member
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    Thanks for the encouragement! It's just one of those days where you're like: whoa. What was I thinking?

    Yea we can!
  • assateaguegirl
    assateaguegirl Posts: 22
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    Oh yes, I can relate! I lost 45 lbs and then started dating a man who is naturally lean and loves to cook. Second years and thirty pounds later, here I am again. Fortunately he is very supportive and willing to change things for me. I'm grateful, but know that this is ultimately about me and taking responsibility. Glad to see another who is walking a similar path!
  • chachadeb
    chachadeb Posts: 275 Member
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    Married to someone who trains for and runs two marathons a year. Potato chips are a food group. You can do this!
  • katherir
    katherir Posts: 4 Member
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    Damn them and their great metabolisms! He looked at the scale and said: "no more Arby's." I looked at it and started sweating and crying. It's all good though. We all deserve to have someone great in our life, supporting us as we get to our best selves!
  • katie190177
    katie190177 Posts: 38 Member
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    I am in the EXACT same boat, I think I just read a synopsis of the last two years of my life story, minus the "great" relationship. I came out of an unsuccessful and unhealthy relationship allowing 30lbs to creep back on after losing 63. I was able to lose significant weight again the summer after, but like yourself, my switch flicked off and I managed to let it all fall back on. So don't feel alone! I'm in it for the long haul, I've got a friend on board with me who is my gym buddy, keeps me motivated!
  • 180OneEighty
    180OneEighty Posts: 10 Member
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    Sounds very familiar to me too. Lose, stop tracking... gain, gain, gain. Then just keep eating because it's easier and so much more fun. I ignored the scale because I know it's going to be bad and if I just don't look I can keep denying that there's a roblem. I was down 60 lbs. and I've essentially put it all back on. I'm just kicking myself.... what a waste. And now I have to claw my way back out of the deep hole again. I really need to figure out how to make this a lifestyle once and for all. And just realize that it's not going to be fair that other's around me sometimes don't even have to try....

    Tomorrow I climb on the healthy choices wagon again, hopefully for the last time! Fingers crossed.

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