Excuses is my middle name

crazykatlady_
crazykatlady_ Posts: 46 Member
edited November 11 in Motivation and Support
I'm a 32 year old work at home mom of 2. I'm one of those moms that ends up ignoring their own needs because I'm so busy taking care of everyone else. Fast forward to 296 pounds and I feel like I can barely function, I hate my body, and I'm always tired. I can't even play with my kids on the playground. So, instead of doing a new year's resolution this year I picked a resolution word. One word to focus on in all aspects of my life. That word was commit. Mainly, commit to myself, my health, my happiness.

It's been difficult to get into the mindset that it is sometimes necessary to put myself first. Plus, I have to work around the schedules of my husband (Who is so supportive, but work plus commute takes up most of his time) and two boys. Then, there are all our pets that need looking after. Then, there's my business. Then, there's cooking and cleaning. Then, there's...see what I'm getting at? There is always something I guilt myself into doing instead of taking care of myself.

So, 2 weeks ago I joined a gym. I hate wasting money, and it's a year commitment...so my thinking is it will help motivate me. I specifically chose one with childcare because I do not have anyone that can watch my toddler. I've been...4 or 5 times :-( I'd really love to go 5 days a week, but the guilt of leaving Evan (who is having trouble adjusting...he's never been without me or my husband) is eating at me. It isn't even like it's that long. And it isn't like he's bawling his eyes out. The girls there tell me he cries a little after about 20 minutes, but they distract him. Yet I feel like a horrible person when I find out...even though they'll page me if he needs me.

So, how do I stop using everyone else as an excuse? How do I overcome the crippling and irrational guilt? How do I get over myself and get on with it?

Replies

  • olgasgarden
    olgasgarden Posts: 34 Member
    hang in there i know it is hard. in the beginning 80% of your weight loss will come from food now exercise.
  • crazykatlady_
    crazykatlady_ Posts: 46 Member
    Thanks, olgasgarden! I am doing good most days when it comes to food, but I really do much better when I am getting exercise as well. It makes me more mindful of how I am treating my body, and it just makes me feel so great! Instant mood and energy booster! When I start skipping work outs I start slacking off on my food diary and eat too much of the wrong things.
  • peblesboop
    peblesboop Posts: 26 Member
    If you like add me. I have free monthly facebook fitness groups where I motivate and support people such as yourself.
  • scottwheeler75
    scottwheeler75 Posts: 31 Member
    Hey, take it from a father of 6 kids. It is good for younger kids to be away from mom and dad once in a while. He will be just fine! So get rid of that piece of guilt. Besides, the better you feel, the more you will actually be able to play with your kids. Make the investment of at least 5 times a week. You are not only doing it for you, but for your family. That really is a win/win.

    -Scott
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,741 Member
    scottwheeler75 wrote: »
    Hey, take it from a father of 6 kids. It is good for younger kids to be away from mom and dad once in a while. He will be just fine! So get rid of that piece of guilt. Besides, the better you feel, the more you will actually be able to play with your kids. Make the investment of at least 5 times a week. You are not only doing it for you, but for your family. That really is a win/win.

    -Scott

    Yes, PLEASE learn to take care of yourself FIRST! It is not selfish. You matter as a person first and foremost; as a wife and mom secondly. Reclaim your identity and your mind and body will follow.

    Listen to Scott above: kids need their own space and distance from us even if they are a bit uncomfortable at first. They are incredibly adaptable and will adjust. As a matter of fact, make sure they know now that fitness, exercise, and taking care of yourself is ingrained into their daily routines. It's always hard to get started but be tough, be consistent, and celebrate every success!
  • TristaRDLD
    TristaRDLD Posts: 2
    Hello! Im in the same boat. Everyone else takes precedence...but me. Really hoping that I can change that.
  • soloelixir
    soloelixir Posts: 10 Member
    I think you're being hard on yourself. As some of the other posters have noted, you are doing this not just for yourself, but for your family and, more specifically, for your kids. So you can't blame yourself for when your toddler cries. To be honest, that sounds like another excuse to me. Sorry for the harsh words, but you shouldn't use your guilt to keep you from your long term goal of spending more quality time with your family.

    If exercising 5 days a week is too difficult, maybe you should build up to it. Personally, I started with smaller goals. I committed to going at least 3 times a week, no matter what. 3 times, for 30 minutes. Then, slowly, I built it to 3 times, 45 minutes. Then, 4 times, 30 minutes. 4 times, 45 minutes. I'm still there...but I'm hoping that next month I can go 5 times a week.
    Through all that, the one constant is watching what I am eating, and logging everything. I have had more than a few "off" days, but I still log everything. Trust me, accountability goes a long way.

    Good luck to you.
  • crazykatlady_
    crazykatlady_ Posts: 46 Member
    soloelixir, you weren't being harsh. What I was trying to get at IS that it is just another excuse. So, I agree with you for sure. I always find some excuse (something that needs to be done, etc) to eat up my time.

    Thanks, everyone, for the advice and encouragement. I knew I'd find moms and dads here that would relate. My "guilt" really is just another excuse.

    Anyway, I did hit the gym today! :-) So, that's one battle won.
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