Children in gym child area

ChapinaGrande · January 2015

I signed up for a membership at the YMCA because they have a "Kid Zone," formerly known as "Child Watch." My 7-year-old loves it and is really upset when we don't get to go to the gym.

On the other hand, my 1-year-old is totally miserable. We have been going for about a month--2-3 times a week--and she has only stopped crying for two days. The other days, she cries the entire time and the babysitter has to hold her, which doesn't make her stop crying anyway. I understand that my baby is in a developmentally-appropriate stage ofseparation anxiety.

On one hand, I want her to get uesd to being without me. She is a slow-to-warm-up child and I want to push her (a little) to get used to new things. I also need to exercise. I have cut my workouts from 45 minutes to 30 minutes of intense cardio. On the other hand, I don't want to traumatize her and the other children in the Kid Zone.

Changing exercise to walking out in my neighborhood is out of the question. I have been told directly that people don't like me because of my race and we have gotten racial slurs thrown at us, which is not something I want to subject my babies to. I also can't exercise using videos and stuff at home. I am working full time and am a full time grad student while taking care of household responsibilities, so when I'm at home, I feel pressure (from myself AND my husband) to do other things instead of focusing on exercise. I am more likely to be distracted by, say, dirty dishes in the sink or a paper that's due tomorrow. I really do need to isolate myself (hide) at the gym.

Thoughts?

angf0679 · January 2015

I work in the nursery at my church. We had a little one that was like that when her parents started coming to the church. Eventually she adjusted and is fine now when her parents leave her. I'm sure your daughter will adjust as well. Although, I know you wish it was sooner then later!

mochapygmy · January 2015

^^ Or can you change when you go to the gym and leave the 1 y/o at home with your husband until she is a bit older?

RBXChas · January 2015

Wow, I am so sorry about the racial slurs and whatnot you're experiencing in your neighborhood. That's really horrible, and there's no excuse for that.

As for the Kid Zone, can your 7-year-old help her adjust a little? I have a 4-year-old and a 1.5-year-old, and while they both go to preschool full-time, I know that in a new environment the younger one would be a lot more chilled out about it if the older one were around and interacting with him. Otherwise, maybe there aren't enough younger kids/babies like her in the Kid Zone to put her at ease.

Overall, it's only been a few visits, really (10-15, I'm guessing), over a month, so it's a little inconsistent. I'm not saying take her every day and let her get used to it, dammit, but what I mean is that she probably goes, gets upset, then has a few days at home to be happy again, goes back, gets upset, and so on. Thus it really might be too soon to write this off. She'll also get better as she gets a little older, as I'm sure you know. When I took both of my kids to preschool for the first time, we had about two weeks of crying clinginess every time I dropped them off, so 5 consecutive days, a weekend, then 5 consecutive days. Occasionally they would still have days when they didn't want me to leave them. (Now my younger one cries when I come pick him up because he wants to stay!) Thus you might want to give her some more tries.

As for alternatives, do you know anyone who can watch your kids so you can work out if you watch theirs in exchange?

Codilee87 · January 2015

I can completely understand how difficult it would be to leave your distraught baby with a relative stranger but it probably IS the best thing for both of you. She needs to learn that mommy always comes back and its ok to be apart for a little while and you definitely need the me time - prioritizing your health is not selfish, its just smart. But I also understand the feeling of guilt that we can have if our kids are being difficult for someone else - its so easy to fall into the habit of always trying to make it easier for everyone else, without considering our own needs. Just remember: that babysitter is (I assume) getting paid to deal with the crying and screaming - so take advantage of that lol

Is this kid zone at your gym within audio range of your workouts? If so, I would recommend using headphones to block out the sound. Listening to your baby crying will be distracting, guilt-inducing and not conducive to an effective workout.

Take care of yourself so that you can take care of your family. Good luck

jennifershoo · January 2015

Leave the baby to your husband when you go to the gym.

ChapinaGrande · January 2015

Addendum: My husband has to leave for his job immediately when I get home from work. He doesn't get back from work until after the gym is already closed. I don't have any other family around to watch her while I go to the gym.

candacefausset · January 2015

What about becoming friends with some other moms in your area? You can often "trade" sitting services or playdates with other mommy friends. You watch for them 2-3 times a week, they watch for your 2-3 times a week. You both get some time away to yourselves and the babies get to make playmates and you get to make new friends with new mommies too!

What about getting a big dog or borrowing a dog from a friend to go on walks? What about a different neighborhood? You are already driving to the gym. Might as well drive to a different neighborhood.

But socialization for kids is good one way or another. But it doesn't have to be forced so early if you don't want it to. Often by the age of 2, social anxiety starts to wean off. But for now, when you take her into the childrens area, sit down with her for a few minutes and help her get really interested in a toy. Once she is, give her a kiss, say "Bye" (don't make a big thing about it but also don't just skip out" and quietly make your exit. Chances are she will play for a few minutes before she realizes you are gone. She may still cry once she realizes it but if you do this regularly (and get your older child to get involved in it too), she will go a bit longer after a while, and a bit longer and a bit longer and eventually she will ease into the transition. Then you can even lengthen your workouts back to what they were.

Children in gym child area

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