once again

My third time getting on here to lose weight. First time I dropped maybe 10 lbs. Last time I dropped 36. Now I'm hoping to drop the rest. This is my fourth time losing in general. The actual first time I lost I lost 90 pounds. I was diagnosed with an ED. I then proceeded to "overcome my ED" by eating everything possible and then gained 150 pounds. I'm now fighting every part of my head to do this the healthy way so this doesn't happen again. My issue is I either starve or eat everything in sight.. And it's almost been like a losing battle. Support helps a lot.. So I'm doing what I can. But I'm terrified I'll fail. I don't post a lot and I'm not tracking myself just yet because I feel that's a trigger for me right now. But friends are always welcome.