Gay and proud + losing some serious weight

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jakeb1993
jakeb1993 Posts: 13
edited January 2015 in Introduce Yourself
I am gay and proud, and beginning a diet regimen and weight loss. but i have some serious insecurities about myself. I feel honestly feel unattractive, idk, I hope i will find somebody, up untill i was 16 or 17 i pretended to be straight, when deep down inside i am as gay as the dickens. I want someone who will love me for who i am. I am 21 almost 22 and still single. I had a decent boyfriend ( he was decent at first, very good looking, but i started seeing his true colors) about three to four years ago, but he was verbally abusive and i dumped him.
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Replies

  • mhankosk
    mhankosk Posts: 535 Member
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    Hang in there buddy. I was single until I was 25. It just takes some people more time than others. Learn to love yourself first, the rest will fall into place. :)
  • jakeb1993
    jakeb1993 Posts: 13
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    That is some good advice. rupaul says "if you can't love yourself how the h#ll are you gonna love anybody else?" :)
  • sofaking6
    sofaking6 Posts: 4,589 Member
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    We all have our insecurities - you are young and cute and talented and creative, the world is out there waiting for you! It's hard to get past the bad stuff that other people say to us, but just remember that guy was projecting HIS OWN CRAP on to you so whatever he said, it really doesn't apply at all.
  • jakeb1993
    jakeb1993 Posts: 13
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    Thank you sofaking6 :)
  • Bookbuyer2015
    Bookbuyer2015 Posts: 15 Member
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    Good for you, starting your diet and fitness regime! And good for you, being out and proud. It sounds like you have a lot going for you, and somebody would be lucky to have you as a boyfriend. Keep on with your fitness and your interests (e.g., music) and you will find somebody worthwhile through these interests sooner than you think. :)
  • jakeb1993
    jakeb1993 Posts: 13
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    Thank you so much :smile: that means allot.
  • jenven2328
    jenven2328 Posts: 1
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    You got this jake...Just be happy being you...love will find you as long as you are open to it...my dad didn't come out until he was in his mid 30's (I was 14 when he told me). He knew he was gay since he was 9 yrs old- I cant imagine having to pretend to be someone else for so long. Now, he is married and living life being true to himself.

    I am happy for you that you no longer have to pretend. Good luck on your weight loss endevour...you deserve to have the life you desire!!
  • Trueray
    Trueray Posts: 1,189 Member
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    What does being gay have to do with you losing weight. Anyway just get in shape and the sheep will come.
  • CJDaniel7
    CJDaniel7 Posts: 149 Member
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    You have plenty of time, don't worry. You have to love yourself to get in a healthy realtionship of mutal love and respect. Your on the road to happiness, be proud, and never settle.
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
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    jakeb1993 wrote: »
    I am gay and proud, and beginning a diet regimen and weight loss. but i have some serious insecurities about myself. I feel honestly feel unattractive, idk, I hope i will find somebody, up untill i was 16 or 17 i pretended to be straight, when deep down inside i am as gay as the dickens. I want someone who will love me for who i am. I am 21 almost 22 and still single. I had a decent boyfriend about three to four years ago, but he was verbally abusive and i dumped him.

    If he was verbally abusive, he wasn't "decent". (unless you were referring simply to looks, then I'll have to believe you).
  • beertrollruss
    beertrollruss Posts: 276 Member
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    I feel for you OP. Early 20's is a tough age. You're expected to work your tail off, but you don't have a lot of money and you still want to go out and have fun. It does get easier as you get older and there's a good chance you'll meet someone when you're not looking. I recommend focusing on your professional goals and the relationship will come when you least expect it. I'm glad to hear you got out of an abusive relationship. I'm sure you're getting a better idea of the type of person you're looking for. Good luck!
  • jakeb1993
    jakeb1993 Posts: 13
    edited January 2015
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    well he was very good looking, and when he became verbally abusive i dumped him, I had to, for one its stressful and two its wrong.
  • My_Butt
    My_Butt Posts: 2,300 Member
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    Ugh! I love ya already! But the good thing about being a gay male, is that you will always be so beautiful in a females eyes no matter what you look like on the outside. To me, I have always thought gay guys were some of the greatest people in the world. Love ya, honey!
  • aeviescas
    aeviescas Posts: 26 Member
    edited January 2015
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    Congrats on taking that first step!

    I never dated anyone until I was 24, and one of my friends (who also happens to be gay) didn't get a steady until he was 28, 7 years after coming out! It can take some time for ppl sometimes to sort out the riff-raff and jerks.

    And remember: no matter what weight you are you have your own inherent value that ppl WILL recognize. You're losing weight because you deserve to feel healthier and more energetic, not because there's something wrong with your body right now.
  • llUndecidedll
    llUndecidedll Posts: 724 Member
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    I understand since homosexuality is not the norm, and the whole gay pride movement, but try not to define yourself in those terms. You'll meet someone when the time is right, whether he's Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now.

    Hey, you could be in my shoes... An almost 30 year old bisexual spinster. Just try to be the best you can possibly be.

    Its a great thing you've accepted yourself and want to improve your life.
  • jakeb1993
    jakeb1993 Posts: 13
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    I just be myself, thats all you can be.
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,406 Member
    edited January 2015
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    I think there is some confusion as to why you felt it was necessary to announce you are gay? I have no disrespect for anyone's sexuality...I am just wondering why it was needed to be published in this thread, because it really does not matter what your sexuality is.
  • techgal128
    techgal128 Posts: 719 Member
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    jakeb1993 wrote: »
    i am as gay as the dickens

    OMG you are adorable. I could hug you. <3

    Anyway, you are only 22! You have your whole life ahead of you. Just take your time and you'll meet someone. You might want to lose weight and change your lifestyle first to give yourself a bit more confidence to go on.
  • cdh2015
    cdh2015 Posts: 57 Member
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    I was wondering why you had to mention you're gay and proud and what it had to do with your weight loss. Just some of these comments alone answered that question for me. Be proud of who you are. Never let the haters get you down. Just shake it off :)
  • DanBGVa
    DanBGVa Posts: 50 Member
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    Keep your chin up Jake, I felt like you when I was your age, you are very young and you will have plenty of time to live your dream bud. You will get there.

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