I just feel panicked..

49Elle
49Elle Posts: 80 Member
edited November 11 in Motivation and Support
This is probably going to sound very weird and I have probably been on this earth long enough to work out the whys... but so much is going around in my head a bit of plain speaking would probably help me a lot right now.

I am female 65years and for a number of reasons fell into the self gratifying trap of eating my way to over 90lbs overweight. I avoided mirrors, bought bigger clothes all the while getting older. It is a double whammy being big and aging - I don't know which has the worst social affect - people that dismiss you because your big or don't listen to you because they think you are old aka 'out of touch'. Either way it does terrible things to your self esteem.
-
About a month ago someone referred to me as an "elderly geriatric" quite as an aside to the conversation we were having. I was appalled - in a way I guess they did me a huge favour - it broke me out of my stupor and I saw myself as others see me!

Initially my resolve to make changes including MFP has been positive, but now everytime I SEE me I feel positively ill and panicky that I have left this far too late - it will take so long and I am frightened that the guidelines MFP have provided are right for someone of my age as well as my weight, for the weight to come off.

I do 3-4 cycle rides of 12-15 ks a week averaging around 50ks per week, the extra calories earned I don't use as I am fearful that if I eat too many calories the journey to weight loss will be too long (I have only been counting for 3 weeks) but it's the panic that rises up with the anxiety that I am finding difficult to deal with right now.

Has anyone else experienced this feeling and worked through it.. and what about calorie deficit.. am I at risk of stalling my weight loss if I don't eat more calories on my activity days?

Some feedback would be great?
Thanks for taking the time to read my ramble (embarrassed) but I really feel some words of advice would help right now.

Cheers,
Elle

Replies

  • Train4Foodz
    Train4Foodz Posts: 4,298 Member
    Hey there Elle,
    Firstly, for anybody to say that is horrible.. but then, people say some horrible things!

    You have the motivation to take a grip of this healthy lifestyle and run with it, age isn't a factor in that and I can see that you have the will and determination to make this work for you!

    Give it your all and you can achieve all my goals you set!

    All the best,
    Adam
  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
    Perhaps, take this three weeks at a time. In three weeks you will be more comfortable with the path you have set out for yourself and less anxious. Three weeks from now you will have another 21 days of logging behind you.
    You do not have to eat the calories after working out. That is for the people with a couple of pounds to lose.
    Do not worry about how long this will take. It is not a race. This is something you have chosen to do for yourself for the present and the future. <3
  • ramseyarose
    ramseyarose Posts: 8 Member
    eat clean, watch your portion sizes, drink water , get good sleep, exercise, dont stress out about it, take baby steps. Give your self a cheat day once in awhile and only weigh your self every two weeks. My mother is 62 and is constantly trying to maintain her weight, I introduced her to MFP 3 weeks ago.She loves it and has already lost 6 lbs. Stay positive and be patient, loosing weight takes time. Stick with it, join a gym, take some group exercise classes you will meet others that have similar goals. Make it fun!
  • duna_pruna
    duna_pruna Posts: 27 Member
    It doesn't matter what your age is. All that matters is that you get up every day and keep exercising and counting calories. You can do this!
  • AmigaMaria001
    AmigaMaria001 Posts: 489 Member
    Op - I am 62 years old and lost over 60lbs last year... it's NEVER too late - it takes patience and fortitude. Just stick with it; making small goals. Don't get discourage about how much you have to lose - just keep whittling it away one pound at a time. It's not always easy, but it IS possible.
    I can't tell you what losing the weight did for my self confidence. Yes, we are older - but we don't have to be elderly or fat! Let's work together to get the weight off and keep it off. Then keep the body moving so that the aging process is much less painful.
    Best of luck to you
  • brightresolve
    brightresolve Posts: 1,024 Member
    The moment you started MFP, logging your food, exercising, and eating at a calorie deficit - AT THAT MOMENT you started moving toward health, instead of towards decline, disability, or disease. YOU CAN DO THIS because YOU ARE DOING THIS, one day at a time. 58 year old woman here who is coming back hard after taking ten years off. It's not easy, but you can do it and it is NEVER, ever ever too late. :D
  • 49Elle
    49Elle Posts: 80 Member
    Thankyou all for your responses and for the confident support - yes I AM going to make a difference and I WILL lose the weight and I MUST stick to it - I will just keep saying those positive affirmations when the panic hits!
    -
    So the guidelines set by MFP are sufficient for me without eating back any calories earned from exercise (as I have a lot of weight to lose) I just have to trust the process.
  • Hanfordrose
    Hanfordrose Posts: 688 Member
    edited January 2015
    Elle...I will be 70 years young on February 6th. I came to MFP weighing more than 270 pounds, and that was not my highest weight. I was living the life of a cripple, forced to stay in a wheelchair, because I had destroyed both of my knees.

    In the past 2 years, I have stayed with MFP and lost 124 pounds. After losing the first 70 pounds, Kaiser surgeons were able to give me 2 new knees. Now, I am not only out of the wheelchair; but I can ride my grannie bike, walk, run, climb stairs or anything else that I want to do without pain or shortness of breathe.

    I spent most of my life weighing more than 250 pounds. Only now in my golden years am I physically able to do those things which I could not do in my youth. I weigh now what I did in the 8th grade; and I like myself better than I ever did at any other time in my life.

    Don't worry about starting your weight loss journey 'too late'. It's never too late to make a charge for 'a better life'.

    As for those people with the rude 'elderly geriatric' comment, who cares what they think? What really matters is what you think. I don't believe that you have given up on yourself, or you wouldn't be here on MFP and trying so hard to get healthier.

    If you want another MFP friend who happens to also be 'in her golden years', I would be glad to accept a friend request from you.

    Sue aka Hanfordrose <3
  • walltowallinteriors
    walltowallinteriors Posts: 1 Member
    I always do best counting calories but now my problem is getting back to exercise. I am haveing other anxiety and depressive issues. With this and my very busy young boys everything seems difficult. :-( Anyway I think it is great that you are getting active! My advice from there is make sure your MFP is set to lose the amount of lbs you want to lose weekly and talk to your doc about when to eat more. It always makes me feel better when I have a good day on MFP when I click the finished logging and it estimates my progress based on that day ;-)
  • Qskim
    Qskim Posts: 1,145 Member
    Hanfordrose wrote: »
    Elle...I will be 70 years young on February 6th. I came to MFP weighing more than 270 pounds, and that was not my highest weight. I was living the life of a cripple, forced to stay in a wheelchair, because I had destroyed both of my knees.

    In the past 2 years, I have stayed with MFP and lost 124 pounds. After losing the first 70 pounds, Kaiser surgeons were able to give me 2 new knees. Now, I am not only out of the wheelchair; but I can ride my grannie bike, walk, run, climb stairs or anything else that I want to do without pain or shortness of breathe.

    I spent most of my life weighing more than 250 pounds. Only now in my golden years am I physically able to do those things which I could not do in my youth. I weigh now what I did in the 8th grade; and I like myself better than I ever did at any other time in my life.

    Don't worry about starting your weight loss journey 'too late'. It's never too late to make a charge for 'a better life'.

    As for those people with the rude 'elderly geriatric' comment, who cares what they think? What really matters is what you think. I don't believe that you have given up on yourself, or you wouldn't be here on MFP and trying so hard to get healthier.

    If you want another MFP friend who happens to also be 'in her golden years', I would be glad to accept a friend request from you.

    Sue aka Hanfordrose <3

    @12dream....this lady is awesome.
  • gertudejekyl
    gertudejekyl Posts: 386 Member
    Thank you for putting all of that in words. I do identify. I looked over my medical records a few years ago and saw that the icy, cold-hearted, b-ch (nurse) that gave me a pap smear
    had written "unpleasant, obese female" I could go on about that, but man! You are right the age and the fat combines to really make you a nobody in the eyes of strangers. I guess it means it's more important to really get to know some people, if you can - so at least someone can see who you really are !
  • Oberon21
    Oberon21 Posts: 13,235 Member
    Hanfordrose wrote: »
    Elle...I will be 70 years young on February 6th. I came to MFP weighing more than 270 pounds, and that was not my highest weight. I was living the life of a cripple, forced to stay in a wheelchair, because I had destroyed both of my knees.

    In the past 2 years, I have stayed with MFP and lost 124 pounds. After losing the first 70 pounds, Kaiser surgeons were able to give me 2 new knees. Now, I am not only out of the wheelchair; but I can ride my grannie bike, walk, run, climb stairs or anything else that I want to do without pain or shortness of breathe.

    I spent most of my life weighing more than 250 pounds. Only now in my golden years am I physically able to do those things which I could not do in my youth. I weigh now what I did in the 8th grade; and I like myself better than I ever did at any other time in my life.

    Don't worry about starting your weight loss journey 'too late'. It's never too late to make a charge for 'a better life'.

    As for those people with the rude 'elderly geriatric' comment, who cares what they think? What really matters is what you think. I don't believe that you have given up on yourself, or you wouldn't be here on MFP and trying so hard to get healthier.

    If you want another MFP friend who happens to also be 'in her golden years', I would be glad to accept a friend request from you.

    Sue aka Hanfordrose <3

    Congratulations and you are amazing!
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Hi Elle...sorry someone said that to you and that you are having a rough time.

    I wish you well on your path to slimming down. I know someone who slimmed down a bit around your age just with smaller portions of pretty much everything. It can be done. Stay focused on your near future, not that stupid person in the past. The past is not a present the future is, or something. Anyways focus on now only.
  • 49Elle
    49Elle Posts: 80 Member
    I am really touched by the kindness and the advice offered... it means so much just to get that reassurance.
  • SwankyTomato
    SwankyTomato Posts: 442 Member
    Hang in there. It is overwhelming at first but after awhile it will become second nature to you.
  • spamarie
    spamarie Posts: 2,825 Member
    I also struggle looking at the end goal and how long it will take.

    But here's the thing, it's not as though you won't start to feel the benefit sooner. You don't lose all 90lb and then BAM start feeling great. You lose maybe 15lb and feel a bit better than you did before. And then another 10 in a few months, and another 10 etc. That's what I keep telling myself. Also the sooner I just crack on with it, the sooner I'll start to feel better!

    As for anyone making a comment about your age or size (other than in a medically relevant scenario), that is just plain rude. I'd rather be overweight than mean, since at least there's a possibility I can lose weight!
  • khaleesikhaleesi
    khaleesikhaleesi Posts: 213 Member
    Only 65? Honey, you have all the time in the world!

    Take it day by day. You're doing a great job, and at least you're not someone who's just accepting their health as-is and doing nothing to change it.

    Besides, younger people (like myself) who are lazy couldn't even do half of what you do in a week. You're doing wonderfully. Keep it up, Doll.
  • bencze1
    bencze1 Posts: 30 Member
    May sound weird but the last straw for me was when I went to the doctor for a routine check. Every 2 years we're required by labor law to have a basic health check. I remembered 2 years before I was 106kg and the doctor told me I should lose weight. I also had a bit of high BP. 2 years before that I was 102 kg. I was feeling quite ashamed for being so stupid, not being able to do what is clearly in my own best interest. I imagined she will just tell me the same, she can't do it all for me can she...
    I scheduled the appointment, and went there with 106 kg this time too, that was the 3rd day of eating at a calorie deficit. She did tell me the exact same things as 2 years earlier.
    This was in April, now I am past losing 24kg and feel 10 years younger.
    I guess what I mean is, I did feel kind of *kitten* about myself and it's understandable and I am glad I did otherwise I wouldn't have started to change things. But at that moment I wasn't more unhealthy as a day or a year before I simply realized I wanted to change things around. As I did. Hopefully for a long time.

    If it's any indication I cycle to work, and started running, it allows me to eat a little more. I rather lose weight at a lesser rate than starve, if I am really hungry I eat something, tried a couple of those diets before but never lasted more than a week, starving sucks. I try to keep busy so I don't eat out of boredom.
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