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aprilann
aprilann Posts: 238
in Introduce Yourself
I have a question do you get stuck doing it all? Are you ever just sick of it? I am, I stay at home but am going to start college next month. But every weekend I get stuck getting up when ever the dog needs to go out or our youngest daughter gets up which is usually 6:30-7:00 now he gets to sleep in I never do! It makes me so mad:mad: I get up with him in the morning before he goes to work so can't say I sleep in during the week. I get so mad it even caused a fight last weekend. I just get sick of life some days we have 4 kids total and that really makes it hard to have any fun. With kids we're pretty much stuck at home with tons of laundry and dishes and all the fighting I just want to scream. Even when the kids do go to Grandmas we don't have any money to go out with so it doesn't matter. I guess though if we did go out we would go out to eat and that wouldn't help my cause. Come on I get up at 6;15 in the morning to be mad because the dog needs to go out. I just wonder if there's anyone else out there that feels the same way or can relate?

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  • aprilann
    aprilann Posts: 238
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    I have a question do you get stuck doing it all? Are you ever just sick of it? I am, I stay at home but am going to start college next month. But every weekend I get stuck getting up when ever the dog needs to go out or our youngest daughter gets up which is usually 6:30-7:00 now he gets to sleep in I never do! It makes me so mad:mad: I get up with him in the morning before he goes to work so can't say I sleep in during the week. I get so mad it even caused a fight last weekend. I just get sick of life some days we have 4 kids total and that really makes it hard to have any fun. With kids we're pretty much stuck at home with tons of laundry and dishes and all the fighting I just want to scream. Even when the kids do go to Grandmas we don't have any money to go out with so it doesn't matter. I guess though if we did go out we would go out to eat and that wouldn't help my cause. Come on I get up at 6;15 in the morning to be mad because the dog needs to go out. I just wonder if there's anyone else out there that feels the same way or can relate?
  • mom2my2boys
    mom2my2boys Posts: 25
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    Oh I can relate very much! I work full time and have two small boys. My husband also works full time. But like you I seem to get stuck doing most of the work. It's very frustrating coming home from work and finding dirty dishes in the sink, laundry to the ceiling, cat food everywhere (the cat is a VERY sloppy eater), and then the boys just drop everything where they want. That includes the husband! :laugh:
    Sleeping in? What is that? :tongue: I would love to take a nap sometime but I haven't done that in about 7 years.
    I've been known to "go on strike" but it never lasts long because I can't stand it. When I get in those moods my husband does help, but he does what I call man clean. Not like I would. And I get so frustrated when I come out of one room that I've just cleaned to find another room that looks like a tornado went through it.
    You are NOT alone in this. That is a topic quite a bit at work as well. :laugh:

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  • melissa91971
    melissa91971 Posts: 217
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    I have a question do you get stuck doing it all? Are you ever just sick of it? I am, I stay at home but am going to start college next month. But every weekend I get stuck getting up when ever the dog needs to go out or our youngest daughter gets up which is usually 6:30-7:00 now he gets to sleep in I never do! It makes me so mad:mad: I get up with him in the morning before he goes to work so can't say I sleep in during the week. I get so mad it even caused a fight last weekend. I just get sick of life some days we have 4 kids total and that really makes it hard to have any fun. With kids we're pretty much stuck at home with tons of laundry and dishes and all the fighting I just want to scream. Even when the kids do go to Grandmas we don't have any money to go out with so it doesn't matter. I guess though if we did go out we would go out to eat and that wouldn't help my cause. Come on I get up at 6;15 in the morning to be mad because the dog needs to go out. I just wonder if there's anyone else out there that feels the same way or can relate?

    I can't say I relate....BUT I can say I understand. I was a stay at home mom for the first 2 years of my daughters life so I can remember feeling lost to the world. We were very poor at the time with no extra money to go out.

    OK , so....... here's my suggestions:
    1) try 2 remember what's good...
    -you luve your kids or you wouldn't do so much for them
    -you're going to school soon! that will get you out
    -the walking the dog provides exercise!
    -be happy you have a sitter (your parents)
    2) try not to carry all the work yourself delegate it....
    -ask your kids to help walk the dog and don't do it every morning. talk to them about walking it at least 3 days a week
    -share the chores too , since you have 4 kids I am sure they are all old enough to help with something
    3) take advantage of your alone time
    -plan things to do together that don't cost anything
    -cook dinner together ...yousaid you can't go out and eating in is healthier anyway, make it fun
    -play a game ...board game, cards, or what ever you have , it can be a lot of fun just the 2 of you
    -don't forget the true alone time couples need (you know...what got you 4 kids)

    The only other thing I can say is a good friend of mine has 5 kids and she is a single mom. She works full time and has a very full time mom and housemaker roll. It can be stressfull but VERY REWARDING in the end! Try to stay possitive! And getting on here more to look at the mesage board (when you can) is a nice stress relief!:happy:
    ~Mel
  • my2girls0507
    my2girls0507 Posts: 29
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    Yeah, I'm a stay-at-home mom also. I make sure to get my alone time, though. The kids take a nap everyday and that is my time to do what I want. I have two girls. Ashlynn will be 2 in March and Taylor will be 3 on Friday. They always mess everything up! My bedroom will only be clean for a day, then they come in there and it looks like a tornado went through there! My husband feels like it's NOT FAIR of me to expect him to clean up after himself because he's the one that works. He feels like he should be able to make just himself something to eat and then leave the mess for me to clean up. One time I went on strike. He made eggs one weekend for himself and our oldest and left the pan on the stove with egg cooked on there. I left it alone. It's gross, but it took him TWO WEEKS to clean it up. It probably would have been longer, but he wanted some more eggs so he had to clean it. Then there was the time he had a friend over and they made cheese dip in a small crock pot and they burned it. He told me that he would clean it up (DUH, I wasn't gonna touch it) well after about a week or two he just decided to throw the whole thing away rather than take the time to clean it out!!! The man won't even rinse out a cereal bowl!!! He will sit on his butt in front of the computer and eat a big bowl of cereal and leave the bowl there! The kitchen is like 3 feet away. One time the trash got so bad that it was overflowing! He was setting stuff down next to it!!! Guess who took it out...ME!!! Then when I said something about it he told me he wasn't going to take it out anyway because NONE OF IT WAS HIS!!!!! He said the only thing he had over there was a burger king bag and a MT. Dew and he took those outside himself, but left the rest for me! So I definately understand how you feel.
  • melissa91971
    melissa91971 Posts: 217
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    Yeah, I'm a stay-at-home mom also. I make sure to get my alone time, though. The kids take a nap everyday and that is my time to do what I want. I have two girls. Ashlynn will be 2 in March and Taylor will be 3 on Friday. They always mess everything up! My bedroom will only be clean for a day, then they come in there and it looks like a tornado went through there! My husband feels like it's NOT FAIR of me to expect him to clean up after himself because he's the one that works. He feels like he should be able to make just himself something to eat and then leave the mess for me to clean up. One time I went on strike. He made eggs one weekend for himself and our oldest and left the pan on the stove with egg cooked on there. I left it alone. It's gross, but it took him TWO WEEKS to clean it up. It probably would have been longer, but he wanted some more eggs so he had to clean it. Then there was the time he had a friend over and they made cheese dip in a small crock pot and they burned it. He told me that he would clean it up (DUH, I wasn't gonna touch it) well after about a week or two he just decided to throw the whole thing away rather than take the time to clean it out!!! The man won't even rinse out a cereal bowl!!! He will sit on his butt in front of the computer and eat a big bowl of cereal and leave the bowl there! The kitchen is like 3 feet away. One time the trash got so bad that it was overflowing! He was setting stuff down next to it!!! Guess who took it out...ME!!! Then when I said something about it he told me he wasn't going to take it out anyway because NONE OF IT WAS HIS!!!!! He said the only thing he had over there was a burger king bag and a MT. Dew and he took those outside himself, but left the rest for me! So I definately understand how you feel.

    What a jerk!:grumble:

    OK ladys.. all I can say is If your gonna do it all look at it all as exercize!:tongue:

    with love~Mel
  • hmmmm
    hmmmm Posts: 607 Member
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    I think a lot of moms feel like this and I hope you take comfort in knowing that others are in similar situations. I have two girls ages 1 and 3 and was a stay at home mom until recently. I now work 5 days a week from 9:30pm until 6am, and I can attest it is very hard. When I come home, I rush to sleep for an hour or two, so I can be awake when the girls get up around 8:30. I make breakfast, lunch, snacks and dinner. get the girls dressed, give baths, clean up after myself, my girls and my husband. I try to sleep during their naptime as well for about an hour . We don't really have any family that lives close enough to give me a break so this is my schedule 5 nights a week, on the weekends, I collapse at night in exhaustion and end up sleeping every second that my girls sleep at night, just to wake up and try to clean and do everything else (shopping, laundry) that didn't get done during the week. Most of the showers I take the girls are in the bathroom with me, because if I don't they will get into everything. Once in a blue moon my husband will help me with cleaning the living room and he will take out the garbage after it is overflowing and I have asked him four times and HE complains that I nag....hmm I wonder why?
    Okay now that that I am done with my rant, my family means more to me than anything in the whole world and I love that I am able to raise two wonderful girls. No neither of them are angels, they both have their tantrums and the youngest gets into everything and climbs on everything. But this is where they are at in their lves and I cherish every moment that we have together because I know this age doesn't last long and they are growing everyday, and eventually everything will change. I love that I am very much involved in shaping the way they grow up and love to see them happy. I feel pride in knowing that I am doing my best, this is really what keeps me going, even though I am exhausted and tired, one day there will be a time where this will all be a distant fond memory and I will have more time than I need to myself.
  • Lyn_Matthews
    Lyn_Matthews Posts: 902 Member
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    I totally understand how you feel. My DH does his best to help out NOW but 3 months ago it was a totally different story. I have a 6 yr old and a 5 month old. This is the first time in my motherhood career that I have ever been a stay at home mom. At first it was really hard to adjust to the staying home and then it was harder to realize that I have to actually take care of my kids. Now hear me out....when I worked and was a single mom, my son went to daycare and they pretty much raised him while I did my best to make money for us to survive. Now I'm married and have a baby. I was laid off from my job when I was 7 months pregnant. The job market sucks here and I can't find work. Luckily right now I don't HAVE to work for us to survive financially. When I realized that I actually have to stay at home day after day after day and entertain the kids, clean house, cook, run errands etc etc etc I was overwhelmed. For a couple months I was furious with DH for not helping out more. He thought that since he worked and he couldn't feed the baby (breastfeeding) he didn't/couldn't do anything. After a major fight that extended 3 very long days, DH finally realized that I wasn't asking him to do everything I was just looking for him to help out when he could and appreciate me for the things that I did. What I really needed was his support and understanding that he knew what I was going thru on a daily basis and the culture shock that I was adjusting to.

    Wow sorry for that little rant.....Talk to your hubby. Let him know that you appreciate that he goes to work everyday so that you can stay home and that you have a home. Let him know that you are overwhelmed with the many things that you have to do. Ask him if he can help out. Now remember he is a man. YOU HAVE TO BE SPECIFIC or you won't get anything out of him. If you want him to take out the trash every night, tell him. If you want him to wipe off the countertops after each meal, tell him. If you want him to sort the laundry, tell him. Don't just tell him you need him to help out more.

    Remember the reasons you love your hubby and your kids. Take a deep breathe and take pride in the fact that you manage a home of 6. Don't try to be a super mom. Get done what you can in a day and dont fret about the other stuff. Spend time with your hubby and kids. I rarely get alone time with my hubby too and as frustrating as it is I know that when I do get that time with him I'll cherish it even more. Make the best of the situation. And best of luck to you!

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