Rage on haters

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sessaleigh
sessaleigh Posts: 45
in Motivation and Support
I have worked my butt off to get to where I am....literally! This past week was a struggle because I had so many people express disbelief that I am capable of what I have accomplished. I had two people accuse me of being bulimic. This made me so angry. I have lost this weight old school. No pills. No diets. Just watching my calories and exercising. I feel it takes away from my accomplishments when someone accuses me of cheating. Then a friend who has always struggled when she sees me losing weight kept teasing me this weekend because I wasn't eating as much as everyone else. How are you going to mock me for only having one serving of dinner? For only eating a quarter of a donut instead of the whole thing? Then a family member grills me on jogging ten miles because she doesn't believe I'm capable. I know I wasn't athletic growing up, but damn people, I have been putting work into this, you know? I feel so great about myself. People need to stop hating.

Replies

  • SpaceMarkus
    SpaceMarkus Posts: 651
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    Over the years I've found most people act this way because they're jealous. They see you doing something that they themselves can't do, so rather than see you happy they want to bring you back down to their level. It's easier for them to do that than for them to rise up and join you.
  • rfcollins33
    rfcollins33 Posts: 630
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    Yes, they DO!! This is one of the most discussed topics on here, which really lets me know that this is a huge issue for so many people going through making the change to a healthy lifestyle. I am thousands of miles away from my family and most friends, so I haven't encountered it much. i have seen friends who know I've lost weight (it's pretty obvious, I was pretty big before) and they would rather die than compliment me. But, I let that go with a grain of salt, because I do NOT need others to validate me, but it's kinda easy to tell they are just insecure. And, alas, I guess that's the problem, other people's insecurities. But, you know what the wonderful thing is? That's not our damn problem!!! haha, so keep truckin' along, congrats, you are doing great!!!!!! :D
  • ramius
    ramius Posts: 91
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    Be proud of what you've accomplished.. I'm learning more and more that all of this really is in our heads!!!

    Congrats on all your success!!! Its called determination, discipline and Willpower -- waking up each day choosing to stay in the green
  • kimmerroze
    kimmerroze Posts: 1,330 Member
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    Common case of Jealousy...

    You should be blunt with them, tell them "instead of hating on me, how about you join me and see how great it feels for yourself."

    Don't let em get to you!~
  • adjones5
    adjones5 Posts: 938 Member
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    I go through this same thing everyday. I chalk it up to jealous. You're awesomeness makes them aware of the fact that they lack your will power and determination. Trying to bring you down to their level makes them feel better about themselves. Keep up the good work! You're amazing!
  • TaneeisFitforLife
    TaneeisFitforLife Posts: 433
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    It's jealousy....I live in a small town and supposedly I have had weight loss surgery, a bulimic, cancer or some other disease to where I stopped eating :P

    Just keep going and ignore the haters :)
  • nyctraveler
    nyctraveler Posts: 305 Member
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    one word of advice: IGNORE

    I know how you feel...believe me. But i have to say, none of these comments should take ANYTHING away from your accomplishments.

    My oldest brother was so skinny growing up and I was just "plump" not fat but plump. So now, I'm pretty average, but more or less thin and in shape. My brother is pretty much borderline obese and I would love for him to get healthy but instead he just loves to criiticize my every approach to weight loss and always takes the Debbie Downer approach and saying like oh none of that works bla bla bla

    Yet one time in HS, I gained like 25lbs (over senior year) and he said "oh come on you were doing SO WELL"....UM GEE thanks you always know what to say.

    Well at my highest I was 190 and now I'm 157 and no one in my family really wants to remember that I used to be fat at one point...it's like they pretended that never happened

    Anyway, sorry for my rant but just ignore those comments and focus on what you know to be true!
  • Katbaran
    Katbaran Posts: 605 Member
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    You are doing great! Ignore the haters. They just aren't used to you looking good, doing good things for yourself and they are jealous. I know folks say that all the time, but its true. Folks who are too lazy to change themselves for the better are always making comments. My family, except my sis, she understands--she lost 40 pounds or so---keep asking why I'm not eating. Whenever I eat in front of Dad when I'm visiting he always asks "Is that all you're gonna eat?" I usually just tell him I have supper planned later for hubby and me.

    Don't let them get you down. Stick to your guns! You look great!!! Btw, bulimia is NOT the same as losing weight in a healthy manner. At least the haters should get their disorders straight. Sheesh.....

    Kathy
  • Evelynolga
    Evelynolga Posts: 6
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    There will always be someone out there who is going to hate on you. They're just jealious. I always say that if someone is hating on you, then you must be doing something right. : ) Keep up the good work and who cares what other people think. Keep doing you and don't let anyone get to you. You worked hard for that body. You did this for you. You diserve to feel good about yourself and enjoy. Forget about the haters!
  • BigBoneSista
    BigBoneSista Posts: 2,389 Member
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    Girl use that hate as fuel! When they say "oh you can't" just tell them that you have already proven to yourself that you can and thats all that matters. Their thoughts and opinions aren't more important than your own.

    I commend you on your accomplishments. Continue the commitment your made to yourself and let the haters do what they do best.
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
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    I have had this with family members on all kinds of topics, not just weight loss. Problem with family members is they somehow only remember what you WERE like, not who you are now. I feel like I was a different person in my teens compared to my 30s now. But certain people in my family still treat me as if I were still that person from two decades ago. And I agree, a lot of it is jealousy. My older brother once cancelled a Christmas get-together (then changed his mind). He later told me he wanted to cancel it b/c he didn't want to hear how great my life was (debt free, loving husband, losing weight). He was jealous.

    I won't suggest you cut these toxic people from your life, but you should evaluate what they're adding to yours. Some people, I've stopped talking to as often b/c they're just toxic. I only get this one life. And it's a short one. I don't want to spend it being stressed out needlessly.
  • ladybug1009
    ladybug1009 Posts: 68 Member
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    Did you say anything to them?

    Anytime anyone ever says anything to me about what I shouldn't eat, what I should eat or drink, I tell them, "Worry about yourself, and not about what I am doing."

    On Easter, I had 1 beer. My Pop-pop said, "What are you doing drinking that?!" I told him, "Why's that your business?" Sounds crude, but in reality, it really is not their business to tell you that you should eat more or that you're cheating. Stand up for yourself. One of my goals with this journey is to be able to show I have confidence and a backbone. And I don't ever want to take anything from anyone.
  • koosdel
    koosdel Posts: 3,317 Member
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    Well I think you have done wonderfully. It isn't easy to push the dinner plate away, and get out for excersises when your in that environment.

    It's a personal win for you.

    Also, you can tell a lot about someone by their critics. In your case, I'd say you have made a great change to your lifestyle and since they won't do the same... well, we won't go there. This is about you.

    Great job.
  • jgspooty
    jgspooty Posts: 5
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    Luckily I haven't had that problem but I'm sure it's very frustrating. Just like what others have said it's more than likely a jealousy thing. I know too many people who would rather say something negative than positive because of it. They are more than likely ashamed that they aren't able to commit to something like that so they will say something to put you down to make themselves feel better. You have a huge support system here. Keep it up and you are doing wonderfully. If you feel good about yourself then that is what matters. Who cares about what others have said.
  • anthony438
    anthony438 Posts: 578 Member
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    Meh, you should take their bitterness as a compliment. Use their jealousy as fuel!

    You know you're doing great, we know you're doing great - life is good :smile:
  • sessaleigh
    sessaleigh Posts: 45
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    :happy: you all are awesome
  • hng2101
    hng2101 Posts: 54 Member
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    I have the same problem! Whenever I eat dinner with my family and pull out my phone to track the calories they tell me "oh you're being ridiculous" or I'm "getting too extreme and it's unhealthy." 1) My BMI is 23 so I'm actually on the high end for a healthy weight and could lose A LOT more and still be healthy. 2) Working out has become something of a stress reliever so I'm actually happier and healthier this way.

    Learning how to eat healthily is not a diet, it's a lifestyle. Just because other people don't understand (or don't want to, or are too lazy, or are jealous, or or or...etc) doesn't mean that they can tell you you're wrong. I just started to tell family and friends that tell me these things that I disagree and that it's not helping to no be supportive when I've struggled with my weight my entire teenage to adult life and am finally HEALTHY.
  • VixFit2011
    VixFit2011 Posts: 663 Member
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    I go through this same thing everyday. I chalk it up to jealous. You're awesomeness makes them aware of the fact that they lack your will power and determination. Trying to bring you down to their level makes them feel better about themselves. Keep up the good work! You're amazing!

    I agree!
  • EddieSmiles
    EddieSmiles Posts: 4
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    I agree with Markus. It's jealousy. The people who are 'hatin' on you are jealous of your success. Maybe they wish they could lose weight. Or if they're already skinny, THEY cheated (pills, purged, etc.) and are angry that you are being successful the healthy way. I'll tell you what my students tell me: "Shake them haters off!" Be proud of yourself and your accomplishments. YOU know what you've done to get to where you are; don't let ignorance belittle that.
  • ashleybean9
    ashleybean9 Posts: 1
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    Vanessa, I have watched you work ur butt off over the past year. U look so amazing and I know u have done it the old fashioned way. Because of u, I have tried harder as well! I saw all the changes u made and I am able to make them as well! Dont worry about what others say! You are amazing and you look beautiful!! :)

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