Need to get better

Don't ever give up hope.

Start off with some small changes and go from there.

As long as you aim to be better than you were yesterday that's the most you can ask for

All the best

Hang in there. Surround yourself with friends on here who are helpful and willing to share their success tips with you. The road you're traveling isn't easy but you can get to where you want to be if you work at it. Just remember if it was easy, everyone would do it and it wouldn't be called work.

Get the basics right, get things in perspective and take babysteps which you can build on.
That way you will understand what you are doing, be efficient at weight loss and not be overwhelmed by the task agead. better still, small manageable victories will increase your confidence and make you realise if you cna be consistent, then you will consistently lose weigh.

Planning and knowledge to adjust your diet plan around your persona life will make it easier to follow, they shouldnt be excuses, just obstacles that you can deal with and work around. Theres nothing that says youi have to eat x meals a day and for weight loss it makes no difference. You should get used to the idea of eating only what you need or in the case of weight loss eating at a slight deficit so you lose weight. You can manage that through sensible portion control and making it a healthy balanced diet which contains fruit, vegetables, lean protein and complex carbs.

If you gained 40 back then please be honest wityh yourself and understand why that happened, but accept it and leave it there. Be your own best friend. You can do it if you commit and apply yourself.

Start with just logging all your food and get yourself some kicthen scales and weigh it.

AGree with all the comments. I take it one day at a time. I am also a full time college student, with a job that is all sitting and a 6 year old child. It feels overwhelming. But every log of food and every step I track gives me the push to keep going. I keep track of everything because it helps me to keep motivated. I started out with small steps. My big one was drink water (Yuck I hate it) then I cut out chips and chocolate. Doing that for a week motivated me to throw out unhealthy food and go grocery shopping. I make sure I get my 10 000 steps in and that keeps me motivated to work out a bit more..
Good luck
Kerstin