Children and food

been struggling with the kids due to the fact that I've added so many new veg into their diet so that we are eating the same they keep refusing and it ends up in a big row. Any ideas please as I do not have the time or patience to be cooking two different meals.
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Replies

  • lindzgayle
    lindzgayle Posts: 131 Member
    A rule in my house is "You have to try at least one bite of everything on your plate." After that, if they don't want it, they don't have to eat it. BUT they aren't getting a separate meal. I'm not a short order cook!
  • Codilee87
    Codilee87 Posts: 509 Member
    Let them cook with you, if they help make it they are more inclined to eat it. Tell them actual facts about the healthy foods they are eating and how it can benefit them (more than just "you'll grow big and strong") When I told my 4 yr old that eating asparagus can make his pee green he suddenly couldn't get enough of it lol
  • StaciMarie1974
    StaciMarie1974 Posts: 4,138 Member
    Perhaps give them a choice. Have some of veggie A or some of veggie B. If they feel they have some control, it can help. And when it comes to new foods - encourage them to try it, but perhaps don't overwhelm them with too many new foods at once.
  • ShannonMpls
    ShannonMpls Posts: 1,936 Member
    We all are served the same food (unless mom and dad are having something my son is allergic to, obviously).

    Everything goes on the plate. It might go on in a different format - if we have salads topped with chicken and soft-boiled egg, my son's salad will be small on the side and his chicken and egg will be separate. Or I will chop up stir fried veggies very small and mix them in with rice or soba noodles for my kid.

    Eat or don't eat, I don't care, but what's on the plate is all there is. Sometimes he eats the veggies, sometimes he doesn't, but I'm not going to battle over it. My goal is not so much to get him to eat the vegetables today, it's to instill familiarity and habits for the future.
  • ahoy_m8
    ahoy_m8 Posts: 3,053 Member
    You're doing the right thing. If you feel good about it and stay firm in a pleasant way, they will learn from you. For kids who basically get good nutrition, I think it's very valuable to learn it is ok to be hungry. Choosing to be hungry because you don't like the taste of something is a perfectly acceptable choice. There will be another nutritious meal coming in the morning (or in a few hours). No harm done. Not worth a row.

    On the other hand, learning that hunger cannot be tolerated and must be staunched immediately is potentially dangerous.
  • ahoy_m8
    ahoy_m8 Posts: 3,053 Member
    Codilee87 wrote: »
    Let them cook with you, if they help make it they are more inclined to eat it. Tell them actual facts about the healthy foods they are eating and how it can benefit them (more than just "you'll grow big and strong") When I told my 4 yr old that eating asparagus can make his pee green he suddenly couldn't get enough of it lol

    ^^love this!
  • mindidily
    mindidily Posts: 196 Member
    I don't fight with them. They eat what I make, unless it's something like chili, because they are spice wimps still. I have 2 boys; one is 5 one is 3. The 5 year old eats pretty much everything, but the 3 year old does not. But he knows if he doesn't eat, he doesn't get something else. The only exception is if he asks for veggies (I have a variety of cut up raw veggies all the time).
    I do try to empower them so they feel like part of things. I plan my meals, so I might ask if they want one meal or the other. Sometimes it helps.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    Perhaps give them a choice. Have some of veggie A or some of veggie B. If they feel they have some control, it can help. And when it comes to new foods - encourage them to try it, but perhaps don't overwhelm them with too many new foods at once.

    this is what my wife and I do. And also keep in mind that substantial changes can be overwhelming for adults...imagine being a little kid.
  • GiveMeCoffee
    GiveMeCoffee Posts: 3,556 Member
    Have you made these changes quickly?

    Just like we need to make small changes, kids need that as well. Introducing them to new things is great but don't overwhelm them and definitely give options.
  • beckyc0786
    beckyc0786 Posts: 2 Member
    I don't believe in sending a kid to bed hungry. I will put something on my 6 year old's plate that I know he will eat. Whether it is yogurt or apple sauce or another cut up fruit. Then I add stuff that is new or he's only had a couple of times. Just keep introducing a food and eventually it will be familiar to them. I just feel like life is too short to have a meltdown at dinner every night.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    Give them something that you know they'll like (pasta, rice, a familiar veggie) and ask them to take at least a bite of the new veggie.

    Here they don't get any snack after dinner unless they've finished their food.
  • bluestarlight19
    bluestarlight19 Posts: 419 Member
    Also, maybe learn how they like their veggies. I recently discovered my 3 year old will eat almost any veggie raw, but only certain ones if they are cooked. My 2 year old won't eat anything unless it "looks" appetizing, or she sees my 3 year old eating it with gusto.
    I don't punish them for not eating because they also go through phases where they eat everything at lunch but only pick at dinner, vis versa, or they are getting sick and off of food, or they hit a growth spurt and no food is safe, etc. I just go with the flow. I don't want them to be a member of the clean plate club like I am. I want them to learn to stop when they are full. But your right, I won't make them a separate meal but I do offer a healthy snack after dinner, especially for my younger one, if she didn't eat much. And I try to encourage my older one to take a bite of everything on her plate, but don't force her or argue about it.
  • aeviescas
    aeviescas Posts: 26 Member
    Find which veggies they like and use them. Don't worry about the supposed health benefits of all the different vegetables (which do them no good if they don't eat them!) You can also try burying them in casseroles.

    Introduce new veggies slowly. Kids (especially toddlers) are pickier about veggies than adults because their taste buds are more sensitive to bitter. This is an evolutionary adaptation: see this article for more details:

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/its-not-just-baby-fat/201104/why-your-kids-won-t-eat-vegetables-and-what-you-can-do-about-it
  • PammieSuzyQ
    PammieSuzyQ Posts: 100 Member
    Do not fight, making food a battle is a sure way to create food and weight issues.


    I always told my kids, "this is a kitchen, NOT a restaurant. You don't like dinner? There's the kitchen, you may make a PBJ sandwich. That is all."

    Children will eat vegetables in the presence of some sauce or dip of their choosing. You can choose how much of this sauce or dip ends up on the plate.

    Just like when they were babies, don't add more than one new food in a week. Children don't deal well with change.

    Know this, children will not choose to starve in the presence of food. Eventually they will try something new.

    Do not let them make negative remarks at the table about any new foods, the other children listen and tend to take on the negative remark(s) as their own belief.
  • mkakids
    mkakids Posts: 1,913 Member
    I give my kids a portion on the smaller size of reasonable for their age. If they finish everything given, they can have a piece of fruit or pbj. They dont have to eat it if they dont want to.....but if they choose not too, they dont get anything else.
  • PammieSuzyQ
    PammieSuzyQ Posts: 100 Member
    if i was a kid, i would TOTALLY skip veggies and new foods for fruit!
  • crosbylee
    crosbylee Posts: 3,455 Member
    I have been cooking more lately, but I have a very picky eater. Most of it is due to her taste for food being messed up by her chemo medciations. I am hoping that once we are done with all the chemo, around June of this year, that her taste buds will be more adventurous and she will try more. I do encourage her to try at least one bite of new foods, but sometimes things I think she will love, she turns her nose up. She basically lives off cereal, cheese, peanut butter and biscuits.
  • segacs
    segacs Posts: 4,599 Member
    There's a difference between kids who have grown up to always eat what is served, and kids who are accustomed to mom or dad letting them be picky suddenly be told, okay, new rules, new regime. Especially if they were used to eating McDonald's or lots of snack or junk food, and suddenly they're being told that bacon's out, broccoli's in.

    Kids don't handle drastic change well. They're going to be scared, confused and try to test their limits for a while. It's normal.

    Also remember, just because you have certain weight loss goals doesn't mean that they share them. It's healthy to teach them to eat a balanced diet with lots of fruits, veggies and whole grains. It's not healthy to teach them to obsess over calories at such a young age. Be very aware of the messages that you're communicating.

    Slow changes. Gradual shift. And make sure they're getting lots of the stuff you might avoid yourself, like full-fat dairy for their growing bones.
  • ahoy_m8
    ahoy_m8 Posts: 3,053 Member
    Oh, goodness, I am strict but I would totally give a hall pass to a picky eater with cancer. It destroys all fast-growing cells, as I'm sure you are well aware, including taste buds & mouth cells. Bless her heart. I hope the chemo works and she gets well soon!
  • PammieSuzyQ
    PammieSuzyQ Posts: 100 Member
    oh crap yes, let her eat what she wants for now! those meds, while they are killing cancer cells, kill a lot of other cells and make eating so incredibly difficult. please give her a pass until this whole ordeal is over and she is completely cancer free.
  • PammieSuzyQ
    PammieSuzyQ Posts: 100 Member
    I agree, whole milk and full fat dairy for growing children!!!!!
  • crosbylee
    crosbylee Posts: 3,455 Member
    She pretty much gets anything she will eat at this point. Thanks for the thoughts. She is in remission and hopefully finishing treatment soon.
  • segacs
    segacs Posts: 4,599 Member
    crosbylee wrote: »
    She pretty much gets anything she will eat at this point. Thanks for the thoughts. She is in remission and hopefully finishing treatment soon.

    Thoughts and best wishes with your daughter!
  • lemonlionheart
    lemonlionheart Posts: 580 Member
    I've worked many years in childcare and babysitting, and have also worked with children who are fussy eaters due to sensory issues or other factors. Some tips:

    - It can take some kids 12-20 tries of a new food to get used to it. Keep putting it on their plate, they may need to get used to the appearance, colour, smell, texture of the food before getting used to the taste.
    - Introduce one new food at a time along with two familiar foods.
    - Eat together as a family to model eating for your kids.
    - keep it low pressure. If it turns into a fight they'll associate those foods with negativity.
    - you can use some behaviour management techniques here. Reward good behaviour (lots of praise, a treat if they finish all or an agreed amount of dinner) rather than punishing bad behaviour.
    - Cultivate a healthy attitude towards food putside of mealtimes. Take your kids grocery shopping and have them help you pick out veggies for dinner. Pick some easy meals like homemade pizzas they can help you cook. Get a bunch of grocery store catalogues and cooking magazines and make collages of different healthy foods. Comment on they healthy foods eaten by characters in tv or picture books.
    - Don't force them to eat everything on the plate as it is important for kids to learn the difference between hunger and just wanting to eat a certain food. Sometimes the kids I look after will say they're not hungry but then ask for a treat - I say that if they're not hungry then they don't need a treat, if still hungry they can eat some more dinner then have a treat :)
  • Thank you great advice
  • Codilee87 wrote: »
    Let them cook with you, if they help make it they are more inclined to eat it. Tell them actual facts about the healthy foods they are eating and how it can benefit them (more than just "you'll grow big and strong") When I told my 4 yr old that eating asparagus can make his pee green he suddenly couldn't get enough of it lol

    Lol too funny
  • Perhaps give them a choice. Have some of veggie A or some of veggie B. If they feel they have some control, it can help. And when it comes to new foods - encourage them to try it, but perhaps don't overwhelm them with too many new foods at once.

    Good idea
  • jessiefrancine
    jessiefrancine Posts: 271 Member
    This site has lots of good info about this topic. Essentially, it's the parents' responsibility to say when and what food is served. It is the child's responsibility to decide how much of that food they will choose to eat. Lots of good tips on here for dealing with picky eaters, too. For example, they suggest serving something like bread with every meal so that if the child chooses not to eat what has been prepared they still have something neutral to eat so they aren't starving. It helps avoid the drama until they get used to your new, healthier lifestyle.

    http://ellynsatterinstitute.org/dor/divisionofresponsibilityinfeeding.php
    http://ellynsatterinstitute.org/htf/howtofeed.php
  • I rarely serve veggies as a side, rather mixing it into the main dish. For example, diced veggies in burgers, meatloaf, tacos, or chili.

    There are also recipies where you cook the veggies, then puree them into a 'sauce' like mole or 'beefing up' ground hamburger and serving as stuffed baked potatoes.

    Grilled veggies in fajitas or stir fryed like in Thai/Chinese dishes typically go over well.
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,626 Member
    i dont do food battles. period. my teens eat whatever they can find (literally!), my younger one refuses to eat beef in ANY form. okay. you dont like it. no biggie. eat something else those nights. he also doesn't care for most veggies, but will devour copious amounts of fresh fruit. i eat asparagus, he eats an apple. whatever.

    he is very slowly adding more foods as he gets older. I'm good with that.

    life is too short to spend it fighting. as long as they are eating a decently balanced diet, that's all that matters.

    just my two cents ;)