Feeling Overwhelmed

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madsan64
madsan64 Posts: 5
in Motivation and Support
This is my first time posting and I have to say I'm a bit frightened. I'm frighten because if I throw how I'm feeling I'll 1. get no responses or 2. get responses that make me take full ownership. WHICH is what I know I need to do. So here goes, nothing and everything. I turned 50 in September. I'm ok with that, I think ... But this past 6 mos I have gained over 20lbs AND I was already over weight to begin with. I am now, as of this morning, at 250lbs!! I need help! I have so much to live for & yet I know I'm killing myself slowly. My mom died due to her obesity and I'm heavier than she was at 50. So what does that say about me?! I've been mad at her for leaving us too soon, by choice, and yet I'm following the same path. I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle but yet a small part of me doesn't want to give up. How do I make that "small part" bigger? How can I become more motivated? What in all that is good makes me such a failure in living healthy? I feel so overwhelmed. I don't even like to "do" things anymore, because I'm so uncomfortable with how I look. I was never like this before, what has happened to me? OK ... probably too much. But my thinking is, by throwing this out into the void maybe I'll start looking at myself differently & take resposibility for what I've become. AND yes humiliate myself into doing something about it. I'm 50 and weigh 250, and something has GOT to change!

Replies

  • queenliz99
    queenliz99 Posts: 15,317 Member
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    Hi and welcome!! You can do this!! Take baby steps and create little goals. Track everything you eat for a week and at the end of the week see if you can make any changes. This is a lifestyle not a diet. Eat normally just eat a little less of it. Add a little cardio like walking or something that you like. read this to get you started.

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1296011/calorie-counting-101/p1
    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants/p1

    Best wishes
  • Millyz1
    Millyz1 Posts: 1
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    Sounds like you could use some positive encouragement. Are you a podcast listener? If so, there is a wonderful podcast called "Half Size Me". The podcast is led by a woman who lost 170lbs and has kept it off for 3 years. Every week she interviews someone with their own big weight loss story. Each and every person got to their goal in a different way....and I think it's really helpful to hear a lot of different approaches. And the show is always positive.

    I love listening to her podcast when I'm walking...great extra motivation to get moving.
  • lchadwick3
    lchadwick3 Posts: 66 Member
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    Madsan64:
    Congrats on taking the first step. I was 250 in 2010 and began my journey. It took a couple of years but I'm maintaining around 210 now. Not where I want to end up but its a fit, muscular 210.

    Be active everyday. Walk, park farther from the store or mall or work. Take the stairs vs the elevator, anything to move a little more.

    queenliz99 said it perfectly, the best way to look at this is that it is a lifestyle change, not a diet. Eat smaller portions, find healthy alternatives that you enjoy. Use MFP to log it all and know that over time you will reach your goal. And as far as goals, if watching the scale everyday will disappoint you then do it once a week. I would do it on Friday or Saturday morning. Allow yourself to have the weekends without so much stress about food and then use the week to get it back in line. Due to water retention you could see fluctuations during the week but if you weigh at a set time on a set day wearing what God gave you, it would be a good indicator of how you've done in a week.

    Look for 1 to 1.5 lbs per week to lose and then check your exercise log and nutrition log to see where you may have missed it if you don't reach that goal. Just be honest with yourself.

    You can do this!
  • turtlesaver
    turtlesaver Posts: 31
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    Don't' feel discouraged! Everyone on this forum is just like you, we all had to start somewhere, and we all deal with times of doubt.
    queenliz99 has a good suggestion: just track what you eat for a week. No judgement. Either start using measuring cups or buy a kitchen scale and weigh out your food. Don't eyeball it! It's easy to think you're just having a "bit" of butter on your toast, but really you're putting 2 tablespoons worth! Also, be honest and accountable with yourself. If you sneak into the kitchen for a snack, make yourself write it down. Then, after doing this for a week or so, you will see some easy areas to make change.
    As far as exercise, just start very slowly. It can be as simple as parking your car further away from the doors. You might also see if there are any 50+ exercise groups in your area. You can meet some new people and it will be encouraging to have others working out with you.
    It's cliché, but weight loss is a journey. Sometimes you might stumble but the most important part is to not give up!
  • xMrBunglex
    xMrBunglex Posts: 1,121 Member
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    My entire family struggles with weight. After staring at pictures of myself posted by others on Facebook a few years ago, I decided to do something about it. Within a year I was comfortable in my own skin, and a few years later I am in the best shape I've been in since my 20s (I'm 45 now.)

    YOU CAN DO THIS! Just take it one day at a time, eat less & move around more. LIsten to the advice you get on these forums. TRACK EVERYTHING. The weight will come off.

    My mother is obese, 70 yrs old & I've been on her for years to try and get healthier. Well, they went on a 21-day Mediterranean cruise last month...should be having the time of their lives, right?

    Nope, day 3 she tripped on some stairs, fell & broke her arm. She spent the remainder of the trip sitting in a chair looking out the window of her cabin. If she hadn't been so unsteady on her feet, this would have never happened!

    Get healthy - it really is thee only option!
  • Nottafattie
    Nottafattie Posts: 140 Member
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    Everyone starts this a little afraid to try because they are afraid to fail. The only way to truly fail is to never try or to give up. You will have to get tough with yourself. You will have to be completely honest with yourself about how you got to this place and what you need to do to get to where you want to be. It's going to be tough, but you CAN do it. You have already started doing it by joining MFP and reaching out to people who can help, encourage, inspire you.

    This is not a diet. You don't have to look at this as an all or nothing ordeal. It's a journey. You will have good days, bad days, and every kind of day in between. It will take time, more time than you may want it to, but that's a blessing too. That means that you can recover every time you fall. That means that there is no calorie binge that can wipe out all of the work you have done, or can stop you from moving forward. This means the power is in your hands, which is scary and liberating at the same time.

    I agree with everyone about starting small, taking baby steps. Make a good choice right now, even if it's parking further from the door and walking a few steps more than normal. Show yourself that you can do it, you can make choices to change your situation, can follow through with those choices. Then be proud of your successes. That feeling of accomplishment will help you make more good choices.
  • rosiorama
    rosiorama Posts: 300 Member
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    I'm here, having lost 7 pounds of the 30 I want to lose. It isn't easy to change your mindset or your habits, and I think you (and me) have to look at it as a long term, lifestyle change. Go slow, like a previous poster said - one pound a week or a little more. If you try to go drastic, the deprivation you'll feel won't stick over the long term. Focus on whatever you need to to keep motivated. I HATE the way I feel with the extra weight. At 40, I am scared of how knees feel and I worry that they'll only get worse if I don't do something. For me, that fear is more important to get me to change than just wanting to look better and more important than eating the extra calories. What is it that toucan use to focus on?

    It's hard. If it wasn't we'd all be thin! Sometimes it's an hourly struggle for me. But I don't want to be overweight any more and right now that is what I focus on!

    I personally post a photo of my scale weight on a weekly basis to my online community. It helps me stay accountable and gives me a weekly goal of showing progress, even if it is only a pound or half a pound at a time!
  • madsan64
    madsan64 Posts: 5
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    I want to thank each of you for your advise & words of wisdom. All are very helpful & when I feel myself start to slip I'll be opening this disussion up & re-reading. I know it's only day 3, but I am keeping my food journal, both the good and the bad. I'm reading motivational articles to help me stay the course. And trying to take it one day/meal at a time, step by step. Thanks again!!
  • whatatime2befit
    whatatime2befit Posts: 625 Member
    edited February 2015
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    Kudos on taking the first step. If I could offer any advice, it would be to take it day by day, and to not quit if you have a bad day or bad week. Just get back at it again as soon as possible. Also, don't expect to lose all the weight immediately, and then be down on yourself if you aren't losing as fast as you'd like. You didn't gain overnight, it won't come off overnight. Be patient with yourself. Celebrate each milestone, whether it be every 5 lbs down, or every week of being active. Best of luck. Feel free to add me if you'd like.

    And btw, I was 224 lbs at 39 (and only 5'2), so while I didn't hit 250, I wasn't far off.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
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    Set a reasonable goal. Be realistic that it will take awhile to lose weight. You don't have to make huge changes all at once to be doing something good for your health.
    Eat food you like. Eat smaller portions of higher calorie foods to stay with your calorie goal. Eating protein, healthy fats and fiber can help you to feel more satisfied and full. Drink water.
    Log what you eat and drink honestly and as accurately as you can. It can be helpful to plan your meals in advance. Some of us find it helpful to pre-log our food before we eat. I usually pre-log my whole day in advance.
    Exercise a bit. Start slow if you aren't used to exercising. Walking is good exercise. Gradually increase your distance or time. Try some beginner exercise workouts on you tube.
    The scale isn't the only measure of progress. Take a photo and measurements once a month or so. Set a fitness goal.
    Don't give up if the scale doesn't move fast or you have a bad day. Just log and move on. Every day is a new day. What matters is what you do today.

    If you lose 1 pound a week in a year you will have lost 52 pounds. That would be pretty good.
    You can do this.
  • pwatol
    pwatol Posts: 326 Member
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    For me, the best motivation was hitting rock bottom at a weight higher than it's ever been in my life, getting my first high blood pressure reading, and ending up exhausted just walking the two blocks from my car to my office in the morning and finally deciding NO MORE! I don't worry about weight as it affects my appearance. I've never been skinny in my life. But I have no interest in dying early or losing any quality of life to my weight. The good news is that each 10% of your body weight you lose has huge health benefits. Set yourself reasonable goals at first (my first goal was to lose 50 pounds; the one I'm working on now is the next 25 pounds). And until the habits really stick and you start to see real changes, it can be easy to lose your motivation. Do everything you can to reinforce the positive. For my first 20 pounds, I didn't record my weight on any day that it went up, just the ones where it went down or held steady. It's amazing how hopeful it makes you when all you see is down down down. Now it doesn't bother me as much to see my weight bounce up sometimes in the progress chart because I know how far I've come.
  • haileytara
    haileytara Posts: 1
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    I'm slowly working my way down from 230, I know how frustrating it can be some days. I also have a herniated disc in my lower back which has hindered my ability to exercise the way that I wanted too. One thing that I have been looking into getting for myself is the Jokari Healthy Steps Portion Control Diet / Weight Loss 10pc Utensil Kitchen Tool Set. You can find them on Amazon. My biggest problem isn't eating healthy, it's simply eating too much. I think these are something that are really going to help me, and help put my meals in to perspective so I thought I would share with you all :)
  • jenmovies
    jenmovies Posts: 346 Member
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    Just take it one day at a time. Instead of thinking of ALL the weight you have to lose, think about just eating healthy and getting some light exercise TODAY. It seems like to me, you really want to do this and the biggest hurdle to accomplishing what you want is MENTAL. There is plenty of advice and support here on My Fitness Pal. Good luck!
  • NicoleS9
    NicoleS9 Posts: 62 Member
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    madsan64 wrote: »
    This is my first time posting and I have to say I'm a bit frightened. I'm frighten because if I throw how I'm feeling I'll 1. get no responses or 2. get responses that make me take full ownership. WHICH is what I know I need to do. So here goes, nothing and everything. I turned 50 in September. I'm ok with that, I think ... But this past 6 mos I have gained over 20lbs AND I was already over weight to begin with. I am now, as of this morning, at 250lbs!! I need help! I have so much to live for & yet I know I'm killing myself slowly. My mom died due to her obesity and I'm heavier than she was at 50. So what does that say about me?! I've been mad at her for leaving us too soon, by choice, and yet I'm following the same path. I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle but yet a small part of me doesn't want to give up. How do I make that "small part" bigger? How can I become more motivated? What in all that is good makes me such a failure in living healthy? I feel so overwhelmed. I don't even like to "do" things anymore, because I'm so uncomfortable with how I look. I was never like this before, what has happened to me? OK ... probably too much. But my thinking is, by throwing this out into the void maybe I'll start looking at myself differently & take resposibility for what I've become. AND yes humiliate myself into doing something about it. I'm 50 and weigh 250, and something has GOT to change!

    Don't be mad at yourself, be proud of yourself for taking the first step & wanting to get healthier!!!
    Have you considered seeking support and assistance through programs such as weight watchers?
  • dragyou
    dragyou Posts: 83 Member
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    I think its human nature to want a quick fix.. Myself included, just take your time. Results will come very slow but they will come. Little changes help, I first started by eliminating all sugary drinks and increased my water intake.. I started seeing results just by doing that.. Later that motivated me to continue.
  • sparkles212
    sparkles212 Posts: 11
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    Have a read at this thread http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1343719/get-rich-quick/p1

    It really is one the most sensible yet motivating things I've read on these boards
  • blimeyoriley
    blimeyoriley Posts: 1 Member
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    Thanks everyone for such great advice, I am restarting again on here and all the advice has really helped me to simplify things and made me believe that this time I can do it! :-)
  • sheldonklein
    sheldonklein Posts: 854 Member
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    OP-An internet board is not going to help you deal with some of the deep seated emotional issues you discuss. It can help you address your eating behavior. Try to disentangle the two. Losing weight is math and discipline. If I waited to lose weight until I stopped being a screwed up mess, id never even get started

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