How do you react when your personal space gets violated?

_John_
_John_ Posts: 8,646 Member
edited November 2024 in Chit-Chat
This is one of the things that drives me nuts, and I am VERY uncomfortable being around a personal space violator.

It's worse when it's someone I don't like or a stranger, but I don't even like someone I know well doing it.

I can only imagine it's worse for someone who can't fight back as easily like women though.

One of my wife's uncles is a personal space violator and likes to talk to you with his arm around your back for everything and be altogether too close even if he isn't touching.

Replies

  • 4ever420
    4ever420 Posts: 4,088 Member
    Not really an issue for me unless the person smells bad or is being super creepy
  • bluesarah13
    bluesarah13 Posts: 31 Member
    I can totally relate. Some times I just back up or move over. If they persist, I just say I'm not really comfortable with being touched. They might look at you a little weird but they typically comply.
  • kinkyslinky16
    kinkyslinky16 Posts: 1,469 Member
    I don't like people all up in my space either. These are the times that I'm really jealous of my husband's ability to fart on command.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    Used to be a guy here that liked to get too close. He was about 6'4" and thin. He was in charge of Accounting and all the people in the accounting group were female. He used to like to use his height and get real close and look down on people. It was deliberate. He tried it on me recently. I reached out and grabbed his arms, lifted him, and set him down an arm's reach away. Told him, "I don't want anyone any closer than this."

    He hasn't got within arm's reach of me since.

    In general, when I am out and about, I always know where I am in proximity to others. I always give others their space and I expect the same consideration.
  • tinamarie0604
    tinamarie0604 Posts: 308 Member
    ;) That all depends on who's violating it!
  • Unknown
    Unknown
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  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    There are cultural differences. Latinos and Asians can tolerate being a lot closer. I think Canadians top the list for needing distance. I'm sensitive to personal space violations. If I am in touchy-feely social situation I'll remain standing in case I need to step back.

    http://proxemics.weebly.com/proxemics-and-culture.html

    To deal with an aggressive chronic offender, I've stepped IN to their space to make them back up.
  • strozman
    strozman Posts: 2,622 Member
    tinamarie0604 wrote: »
    ;) That all depends on who's violating it!

    came in to post this
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
    I'm a very touchy, feely person who is definitely a"Hugger" I love personal contact but do know my boundaries and always try read if people are approachable before touching them, the same way I would expect someone to do for me. We can usually tell if someone is open to our contact and affections, and should not approach them until we are certain it is ok! :)
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    There was one twit I worked with who would hug-bomb me so I took her aside to explain that I was sensitive to touch. She then proceeded to tell all newcomers and co-workers that I hated being hugged! GRRRR. I am hyper-sensitive, which means I am grossed out by a passive-aggressive squeeze. A genuine hug, however, is like a crocus in the spring.
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