self sabotage ... so frustrating!!!

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HeatherMarie1174
HeatherMarie1174 Posts: 355
in Motivation and Support
Okay, I don't know if I'm the only one with this issue, but I wanted to throw it out there. I have always had a problem with self sabotage ... meaning, I set a mini goal for myself and when I get close to it, I do things that push me further away from it. I know it's not that I want to be unhappy the rest of my life ... or is it? :frown:

Maybe there is some deep rooted issue I need to work through ... that I don't feel like I deserve success and I will be like this forever. If that's the case, I need to figure out a way to change that.

Anyway, is there anyone else out there that is going through this same thing??? Maybe we can support each other ... or at least be there for each other ... misery loves company. :laugh:

Replies

  • metamorphosis165
    metamorphosis165 Posts: 3
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    I so totally do the same thing. Sometimes I feel like one step forward, two back. It is almost like I am scared of success! I am sure mine is somewhere deep in my mind. I hope that part of actually losing weight this time, will be working through whatever my craziness is. :-)
  • jenniferg83
    jenniferg83 Posts: 278 Member
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    Awe - i'm sorry to hear you're unhappy. I see that you've lost 18 lbs! That's amazing! Try and look at what you did accomplish on your "healthier life" journey! I didnt make all my mini goals all the time but i started changing the type of goals. Instead of "i have to be "X" weight by a certain time" kind of goal i would make it "Run a mile non stop by a certain date. or try doubling it. Something that involved the fitness part. Something you can see happening and the pounds and inches will fall off. Try this type of thinking, it has helped me this past month like no one's business! :)))))
  • mlh612
    mlh612 Posts: 311 Member
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    I find myself doing the same thing without knowing it. I will be doing great for a few weeks and dropping a few pounds, then I completely go off track and binge... I know part of it is stress from school/work, but I am determined to not let that happen this time. I have been doing really well this week and I will have to maintain some self-control this weekend and strive to make it next week without any screw-ups... Good Luck!
  • wonrob
    wonrob Posts: 66 Member
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    I have the same problem.
    Once I'm somewhat happy with my progress, I'll "cheat", and that'll make me feel guilty and think I've stuffed up the whole day, so why not go ahead and stuff up the whole day. One bad day turns into a week of bad days, and then the cycle renews.
  • dcarvil
    dcarvil Posts: 1
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    Yes....I have and am definitely experiencing the same thing! I get close to the mark and become too comfortable with the progress. Then I feel bad and begin stressing, which is a no no for losing weight, and the scale continues the other way. So, it takes longer to get back to that "close mark" again. :grumble:

    I do believe that there are deeper issues as to why we do that to ourselves. I had to take inventory of my thoughts, emotions, and life patterns to find what is causing me to be obese. I learned that I have become immune to negative things happening in my life. So when the good occurs, I subconsciously do things that would keep in that negative light. However, I NOW want to enjoy the good in life and share the good that people say they see in me, freely!! :happy:

    Sometimes, our reason for self sabotage can come from family upbringing, fear of success, or the what-if factor. I'm not sure what yours may be, but I encourage you to find out WHILE continuing to do the SAME thing that will bring you success!!!!!!! I know that you can do it and it does take encouragement from others in order to continue on.

    YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!!! I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!! :smile: :bigsmile:

    DEE
  • HeatherMarie1174
    HeatherMarie1174 Posts: 355
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    Thank you guys for your responses - I know this might sounds silly, but in a strange way it makes me feel a little less crazy to know that I am not the only person out there that struggles with this. Don't get me wrong, it still frustrates me like crazy, but at least I know there is support out there.

    I don't think it's the goals that I am setting for myself ... I think it's in general. Meaning, if I lose 5 lbs, then I do something to where I gain back 2. It's a vicious cycle that gets me NO WHERE!! :grumble: I started this journey 2 years ago ... lost 40 lbs by working out every day and then I stopped. I gained 5 back, but kept the rest off for the most part. Then, the beginning of this year, I started again and have lost 18 lbs since the beginning of the year, but I don't want to stop again. If I lose 40 lbs every 2 years, it's going to take forever to get to my goal! Good grief!

    If you guys want to add me, maybe we can help motivate ourselves through this!!!
  • robyn12770
    robyn12770 Posts: 243 Member
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    I also do this. I have lost weight before and got alot of attention for it. I got to the point where I was embarrassed and wished people wouldn't make a big deal about it. I know they were trying to be nice, but it was overwhelming. I remember shopping in the "regular" department after I lost weight and felt like I was in a foreign country and I was going to get caught being in the wrong department. I am afraid to go back to that place. I also think for me I'm afraid I won't know who I am when i lose weight. But the funny thing is, I don't know who I am now. I don't feel like the fat person that looks back at me in the mirror. I really do have a skinny person in me trying to get out :) I just need to let go of my fears and let her :)
  • HeatherMarie1174
    HeatherMarie1174 Posts: 355
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    Robyn 12770 - Very well said!!! The skinny girl does want to come out ... I need to let go of my fears too.
  • Jellyphant
    Jellyphant Posts: 1,400 Member
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    I know exactly how you mean. I ALWAYS always always build the motivation up so high, then just crash and forget that it ever crossed my mind. I can actually lose the weight, stick with the workouts (like jazzercise) but then just crap out and I'm back to square one before I can correct myself.
    I honest to God used to weigh more than 100 pounds lighter than I am now, and I have no clue how I got to this point.
  • LilLolo22
    LilLolo22 Posts: 229 Member
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    I have the same problem.
    Once I'm somewhat happy with my progress, I'll "cheat", and that'll make me feel guilty and think I've stuffed up the whole day, so why not go ahead and stuff up the whole day. One bad day turns into a week of bad days, and then the cycle renews.


    WOW! I've done this very same thing sooooo many times. I never thought about it... makes me think.
  • HeatherMarie1174
    HeatherMarie1174 Posts: 355
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    I have the same problem.
    Once I'm somewhat happy with my progress, I'll "cheat", and that'll make me feel guilty and think I've stuffed up the whole day, so why not go ahead and stuff up the whole day. One bad day turns into a week of bad days, and then the cycle renews.


    WOW! I've done this very same thing sooooo many times. I never thought about it... makes me think.

    Crazy, isn't it???
  • bblaker
    bblaker Posts: 2
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    I thought I was the only one that did this.

    I have just finished a 10 week challenge, where I lost 6kg (13lb) and 17cm (6.5"). I finished this yesterday, but instead of being happy with the results, I was really dissapointed that I hadn't reached my target of 60kg (132lb). I was 1.7kg (3.7lb) away from my target. So I spent my entire day yesterday eating anything bad I could find. - chocolate, soda, chips etc. Not one singe healthy thing went into my body.

    Now I feel terrible about myself. Why do I do this?
  • misslo718
    misslo718 Posts: 14 Member
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    You guys are not the only ones. I have been gaining and losing the same 2 lbs for 6 weeks. These are the 2 lbs that keep me from being under 200. I have no idea why, and i know i really want it bad. I'm not eating "bad" stuff, but if im gonna be really honest, i may be a little loose in the logging department. The other day, i realized i was eating a handful of raisins that i wasn't logging. I stopped weighing portions and started guestimating.

    Anyhow, one day at a time. I start off well, and it goes all wrong by the end of the day. sigh
  • Shirley0220
    Shirley0220 Posts: 8 Member
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    I do the same thing. I do good all week long and lose a couple pounds. Then the weekend comes and and I gain it all back plus more some weeks. I am always back to square one on Monday. I don't know why I give myself permission to totally disregard my eating plan on the weekends. And I hate to admit it but drinks are my biggest problem on the weekend. My husband and I usually go out on Friday or Saturday and I end up drinking calories.

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