Skinny girl complex ....emotional baggage?

Whitezombiegirl · February 2015

Bit of background:
My Mum oppined a long time ago that she thought people's self image is generally formed when when they are young and it continues with them throughout life no matter what size they are. My Mum was chubby as a teenager and she always saw herself that way even though she was extreamly slender all her adult life- she kept the mindset that she had to be careful with her food intake. I think it's quite common for people who have lost weight to have a hard time seeing themselves as slim.

She noticed conversely that her freinds who were very slender as teenagers seemed to have the idea that they can eat whatever they wanted and not gain weight (and they did gain weight obviously). This is me too

. I was always underweight, I had no interest in food, unless it was sweets (and due to Mum's issues sweets were strictly rationed in our house) and I was extreamly active (dancing). Just to clarify - Mum was an excellent cook and cooked very tasty low cal and low fat meals (fat and cals were her 'issues')- I'm just not a 'foodie' like the rest of my family (though I'm an excellent cook too)

So fast-forward 30 years and i still have this voice in the back of my head teeling me that I'm slim/ underweight (I'm 'average' now) and I can eat whatever I want (including/ especially sweets) and not gain. I know it's not true and I know it's irrational.......I wonder how many people on here have similar kinds of irrational ideas etc. that they have carried with them through life and how it has affected thier weight loss journey?

P.s I'm here to lose the weight i gained when my Mum passed last year- it's not much and its going well- taking each day as it comes.

loveby30 · February 2015

My mother said EXACTLY the same thing! And I 100% believe them. For my mother and me though it was the reverse, she was thin and fit when she was a teenager and I was pretty fat. This has made it hard for her as she gained weight and got older.

I know that in my mindseye I am always the big giant girl (I was 5'9/10 by 13 and around 200lbs so in comparison to my classmates I was a giantess) It takes a lot for me to realize that I am normal human sized. Granted, this can "help" me now that I am 30, as I have always known that food affects me differently than my slender friends. So I never had any illusions that I could eat whatever I wanted (fantasies maybe). My girlfriends who had similar issues with weight early on also say the same thing.

While I guess its ok that we are used to having to monitor what we eat, the downside of that is horrible, dysmorphic body image. And, given that kids are cruel, for many of us issues with self esteem etc.

I don't know what to do about "fixing" this historical body image, but I think that it is important we acknowledge it (if its something you have) and try to come up with coping skills on how to get around it's negative aspects. Logging food, and getting into nutrition and healthy eating blogs might help get you refocus on eating the right things?

Whitezombiegirl · February 2015

I've kept a food diary since 2010 (I like to keep a physical diary and write notes to go with the food log). I was looking back through them and noticed that when ever I stoped logging my weight would shoot up. I think the dairy is a checkpoint for me- so it's gonna stay for the indeffinite future.

On naother note- i was bullied too, for being so small, skinny and short. I used to envy the other girls tanned curvy calves in thier skirts and compare them to my ugly, pale stick-thin legs. Suffice to say that due to my being underweight I did'nt hit puberty until late (no boobs for me!). I only gained weight when a Dr put me on the birth contro pill to control my acne. That was a disaster- but that's another story.

charmmeth · February 2015

I can relate to this too. I was very slim until my mid twenties: I seemed to be able to eat anything and not put on weight, although looking back on it I realise that when I was not exercising (mainly cycling and walking) I did in fact put on weight. It was not until I hit about 30 that I really began to put on weight, but it took me a long time to admit that I was over weight. Nearly at my goal now though - just 1.5 kg left to go. The trick will be too stay here and not to let it shoot back up again.

clur_85 · February 2015

Sorry for the loss of your mum, I do totally agree that things that happen when we're younger does stick with us! As I read this post it smacked me in the face that I totally have this hang up about my body because of something that was said to me when I was about 7 or 8! I was always tall for my age and slim, but always had a bit of a belly on me (tall girl problems) I remember when I was in a playground and some of the boys commented that I looked pregnant, probably because I was so skinny apart from some fat on my tummy. Ever since then I have totally always focussed on my belly and no matter how 'normal' it might look to others, it always looks absolutely huge to me. I hate it! But those stupid boys definitely infiltrated my body image brain!!

lisalsd1 · February 2015

I don't completely disagree with her theory. It definitely holds true for a lot of people. It is a pretty common theme to either hear on weight loss shows or read here on MFP...that people who were overweight, then lose weight, still see themselves as overweight. It would make sense that the reverse would be true for some people too. They saw themselves as "thin" or were repeatedly told that they were "thin"as kids and it becomes their identity.

I was overweight as a kid/teen. I lost about 65lbs when I went to college. It did take awhile for my mind to catch-up with my body. I think I see myself pretty accurately now, but believe me, it has been a process.

Revonue · February 2015

I definitely agree with your mother, except the point that it stays with you your entire life. I believe it is possible to change your self-image of being "skinny" or "big", but it takes a long time. And I believe that the way society treats overweight people can definitely have huge effects on the way one views oneself- I find that it's way too common that previously overweight people have long-lasting self-esteem issues.

dswv · February 2015

I don't think guys think about this stuff

Skinny girl complex ....emotional baggage?

Replies

Categories