Feeling bad about myself

Oh, sweetie, you sound like you're starting down the dangerous path to an eating disorder. I have a feeling that since you dance in that type of setting you are at a very health weight. You need to realize that these feelings you have are NOT reality. We all have days when we feel fat, guilty for indulging or skipping the gym...but, those are just emotions. The truth is, you are healthy and a good weight. I agree with above poster...please get help in the way of counseling. As a recovered bulemic/anorexic, I can tell you that it really isn't about food. It's about anxiety and trying to feel in control. Best of luck!

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You recognise you have a problem. Its impeding your progress as a dancer. Apparently this is common. I looked up quite a few policies of dance schools and how they manage.

What you need to keep in mind is that its a good thing and important for you that you deal with this and its as important as how much you weigh. Its not all about thinness. You need to talk to someone:

• Dance school obviously.They will come across this all the time.
  
• Your Dr.
  
• Beat UK a charity specialising in eating disorders. They have assisted with dancers and also have a specialist area dealing with young people. They have a helpline and forums plus online chat.
• http://www.b-eat.co.uk/get-help/

Wider reading
http://www.danceuk.org/news/article/report-dance-uks-nutrition-and-disordered-eating-dance-conference/

1. Dispelling the myths around what the dance industry wants in terms of body shapes;

Contrary to popular dancers’ beliefs the dance company directors present at the conference all stated that they choose their dancers based on talent and ability to do the job. Fitness was prioritised over thinness.

· David Bintley, Director of Birmingham Royal Ballet, said he would be hugely reluctant to employ someone who he knew had an eating disorder. He pointed out that although dancers often think skinny dancers are given preference for roles, this was absolutely not the case; he chooses his dancers for ability and appropriateness for the role. Strength, reliability, good team playing skills and musicality were all qualities which came before body shape.

These are longer articles if you need to go further, but dont get overhwhelmed. Keep it simple. Identify as a dancer what the healthy characterustics are and why. Dispel any myths and false targets that will get in your way i.e eating disorders, obsession about weight, anxiety. They can be deceptively similar so be smart.

The Dance UK article is excellent but in depth.

http://www.danceuk.org/media/cms_page_media/204/Dance UK Eating Disorder Policy Recommendations.pdf

http://www.prixdelausanne.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/PDL_Health_Policy.pdf

Balletbunhead96 wrote: »

Yes I read about Diabulima when I tried to stop omitting insulin; it was the after effects of abusing insulin that scared me into stopping; but even now I still feel like skipping my shots from time to time.

I mentioned some of my problems to my doctor last time I visited and he thought I should probably see a psychologist too. But if I'm honest I'm scared to go and I don't think I could afford it, also I wouldn't want to disappoint my parents... how would they feel having a daughter who needs therapy to feed herself...

I cant really talk to my dancing friends because they have their own problems; One has depression problems and I don't want to burden her whilst the other I suspect might have her own problems with Bulimia ( I heard her vomiting in the showers at a sleepover which is another problem in itself because I don't know what to do...) whilst my non dancing friends just brush off my concerns with "You look healthy" and "just eat you're already skinny"... they don't really understand the pressure to be thin.

I am surprised about the London Birmingham ballet though. My Ballet headmaster and mistress seem to really want everyone to be thin; the contemporary teachers are not as pushy but the Ballet teachers are always insistent (some subtly and others blatantly) My previous dance teacher in my hometown always favoured slimness too.

Your parent won't be disappointed if you are taking care of yourself. Even if they might be worried and upset they would be more disappointed if you continued to think that they were a barrier to getting the right kind of support. Go.

OPTIMIZE YOUR DIET!!!! Use the internet, it holds unlimited knowledge.

I don't have diabetes, but I have...

1. Not felt like working out, going to the gym.
2. Ate more than I should, way more, way way way more.
3. Thought about throwing up after eating too much.
4. Felt fat, hate the person staring at the mirror.

Have you tried...

> 1. - Training at a different time of day, for e.g. maybe you're a night person, and not a midday person or morning person.
- optimized your meals leading upto the workout, eat right, fuel your body right, so you can train with focus and intensity.
- Try green tea, or coffee, or a pre-workout for that extra concentration and energy, this helps when you're cutting or losing weight, you will perform worse prior to trying to lose weight, this is reality, deal with it.
- Exercise improves Mood.

> 2. Ate too much, it's a blip, a bad day, log it, move on. Everybody has them. Just don't go into "Don't give a *kitten*" mode and eat everything. Get back on track asap, move on.

> 3. Don't throw up!! It's just a bad meal, not the armageddon... stay strong, move on. Wait.. 3 hours, and hit the GYM with a vengeance.

> 4. A lot of the time, food affects mood. Did I think some crazy *kitten* in my time... yeah... thinking it is okay, just don't do it, cause deep down, you should know, it doesn't really help the root of the problem. Watch your sodium / fiber, excess sodium can make you feel bloated and lack of fiber means you'll be hungry pretty quickly.

Last note, If you're body fat % is too low, bad *kitten* will happen...
Learn everything there is to know about nutrition, exercise and how it affects your body and mind, master it!!!