Trying to lose weight and struggling

You've come to the right place. MFP's system works, as many people here can attest. Some advice:

Read the Announcements at the top of the message board threads. There is great information in them for getting started.

You don't need to exercise at all to lose weight; weight loss is created in the kitchen, not the gym. If you want to exercise, that's awesome. The best exercise is one you love and will keep doing. You don't even need to eat special food, just less of it.

Baby steps are key. Don't try to change your entire life overnight or you're bound to end up frustrated and overwhelmed and those lead to quitting. Get yourself into the mindset that you're making a lifestyle change and not something that you will eventually finish. Time-based goals for weight loss are bound to lead to perceived "failure". Weight loss is not linear and you will lose pounds faster at the beginning than at the end.

Start out by simply logging everything you eat. Every single thing. Logging everything makes it easier to see where you can make simple changes that have a big impact. Weigh solid foods using a kitchen scale and measure liquids that can't be weighed. Don't underestimate calories eaten or overestimate calories burned in exercise. You're only cheating yourself if you try to play with the numbers or pretend you didn't eat as much as you did.

Begin strength training as soon as possible. In my opinion it's more important than doing cardio because it is much easier to maintain the muscle you already have than to build new muscle later. When we lose weight it is a combination of water, fat and muscle. If you're maintaining muscle then more of your loss will be from fat!

The measuring tape is a better tool than the bathroom scale for judging your progress. In addition to "Before" pictures, measure your chest, waist, hips, thighs and any other body part you want to track and start recording them in MFP now. When the scale isn't moving your body might still be shrinking especially if you're lifting weights.

VeeBanks wrote: »

My job is very sedentary (computer programming) and I'm

I'm a software developer too. I lost 185 pounds. Honestly, if you eat less and move more, you could eat fast food for all 3 meals every day and lose weight. It's not easy, but it is a simple formula. That being said, there are lot good resources around for how to eat healthier. Anything that talks about "mindful eating" would be good. My advice to anyone trying lose weight is to honestly and fully log everything you ingest, including vitamins. Once you do that, you yourself can see what's going on, and then seek out advice on your diet.

I'm also a software developer. It's easier to run and get a bag of potato chips and pop tarts when time is critical for a delivery.
As was mentioned it's very important to log food. However it's also important to have healthy food choices readily available. I found that high protein ones like beef jerky, nuts, and apples kept me feeling fuller longer. So that I could accurately track the nuts, I had prepared serving amounts in small snack bags ahead of time.

Go here http://www.fitnessfrog.com/calculators/tdee-calculator.html and enter in your stats. The number that you get is your TDEE. Multiply that by 0.85 and Set that as your daily calorie goal. Eat that amount and you should start to lose weight pretty easy. You are best off if you eat fresh whole foods. Get well balanced meals, and eat some good snacks. I find it works best if you treat yourself a little everyday. I have tons of recipes. If you want message me some stuff that you really like, and I can give ya some healthy alternatives to help ya out. Like what you are used to taking to lunch, and if you have access to a microwave and fridge.