This just sucks

fightingoldbadhabits
fightingoldbadhabits Posts: 14 Member
edited November 12 in Introduce Yourself
OK, here's the abridged version of my struggles with food/weight:

- very athletic through high school including scholarship offer for college
- typical eat/drink way through college and gain 25 pounds
- Surgery gets me back to goal weight of 220 and I maintain for about 5 years
- Meet wife, settle down, new job with lots of opportunity - all my effort goes to work
- Quickly surge 30 more pounds with a top-off weight of 283
- Got some of it off over time, and in 2003 I lose 50 pounds and maintain my goal weight of 220 for about 3 years
- Bad business deal, family stresses collapses that effort and back to old, bad habits - now with anti-depressants and anti-anxiety drugs. This makes it harder to keep pounds off.
- Since 2005 the lowest I could get to was 255, not low enough.
- Develop pre-Diabetes - on medications to help
- Bad year, especially bad last few months, and I've gained almost 20 back to 270+
- STUCK - snowball to hell mode right now, disgusted, no hope, struggling in job to keep it interesting and engaged, need to get a change in momentum
- Picture my daughter took of me over the weekend freakin' grossed me out and led me to reach out to this community for help.

Where do I even start again to get any confidence and momentum that I can do this?
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Replies

  • poohpoohpeapod
    poohpoohpeapod Posts: 776 Member
    there is only one answer..start. start whether you feel like it or not. make a calorie deficit plan, follow it every day. The days will add up, the pounds will go down. Everyone with any weight to lose has to start where you are now. There is no perfect moment in time, there is only now. Do it even if you do not want to.It IS hard, your future self will thank you. It is easier than a massive coronary or stroke. you can add me if you need/want a supportive friend.
  • poohpoohpeapod
    poohpoohpeapod Posts: 776 Member
    PS...you do not have to feel motivated to start. The motivation will build.
  • sofaking6
    sofaking6 Posts: 4,589 Member
    You said you are trying to make your job interesting and stay/get engaged - the same thing for getting in shape. It also sounds like you're a stress-gainer, so I recommend exercise for the anxiety relief and also the positive reinforcement that can act as your motivation. What do you like to do? There are so many ways to be active - phone apps, youtube videos, Kinect/wii workouts etc. What do you think might be fun for you?
  • mathandcats
    mathandcats Posts: 786 Member
    I think motivation is fleeting and it's not what you need. What you need to succeed is resolve and determination. Figure out a plan and stick to it - include room for real life to happen (e.g. treats, special occasions), and don't go overboard with eating too little or working out an unsustainable amount. Be patient and consistent and you'll get there.
  • fightingoldbadhabits
    fightingoldbadhabits Posts: 14 Member
    To all of you who replied - Thank You - it's meant more to me than you'll know. I DO know how to do this, but just can't seem to string together enough "wins" to make the weight drop and then get really motivated. You all are right about doing it even when I don't feel like it - that's a huge issue with me. I feel like I "deserve" to eat whatever I want when I feel like it - but that's gotten me to the state I'm in today.

    I would love to have you all as friends on here, and hopefully I can help you too on your journey (I really actually do know this stuff....).
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,219 Member
    It's easier to focus on developing new positive habits than it is to fight the old ones.
  • PlunderingSteelGorilla
    PlunderingSteelGorilla Posts: 207 Member
    You sound a hell of a lot like me, except I have not yet met my goal weight. Ever. Time is now.
  • fightingoldbadhabits
    fightingoldbadhabits Posts: 14 Member
    The time is now, so I think I'll go to the gym on this cold day. Hope you all are having a good day. It's just a matter of creating a calorie deficit...
  • 1_meatball
    1_meatball Posts: 21 Member
    usmcmp wrote: »
    It's easier to focus on developing new positive habits than it is to fight the old ones.
    I love this
  • 1_meatball
    1_meatball Posts: 21 Member
    fightingoldbadhabits wrote: »
    The time is now, so I think I'll go to the gym on this cold day. Hope you all are having a good day. It's just a matter of creating a calorie deficit...

    Buy a fitbit , park your car furthest on works car park. Your activity is then tracked. You got 5000 steps, push it to 6000. There's no great secret to it. More cals burnt than eaten = weight loss. Good luck , you just need to believe in yourself
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    Would it be consolation to consider that I started nineteen months ago where you are now, and I've dropped ninety pounds? I had a lot of help along the way; an entire team of specialists and bariatric surgery. It started with a decision. I was not convinced this would work until I lost my first thirty pounds and started to experience some mobility gains. Since then I haven't looked back. My diabetes is in remission BTW.

    You're looking back. As hard as it is to see now, you can have a different sort of future.
  • cdlee05
    cdlee05 Posts: 718 Member
    Decide what you want to do and who you want to be. That's the first place to start and it's the easiest part. The rest is a challenge.
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
    usmcmp wrote: »
    It's easier to focus on developing new positive habits than it is to fight the old ones.

    Listen to her.
  • fightingoldbadhabits
    fightingoldbadhabits Posts: 14 Member
    So much great advice and support here - I really cannot tell you all what it means, especially just getting started. When I lost 50 pounds 10 years ago I had a lot of online support through Weight Watchers online groups. It was a key part then, and I'm hoping with your help it will be a major factor in staying on this journey.

    I had a good workout last night, but as is usual I did not sleep well. Felt really good to be back in the gym and I'm looking forward to going back tonight.

    As it gets warmer here I'll get back on my bike - My Goal: complete a 100k ride in August. Last year I did a sprint triathalon and found that having a training goal helps (although I really did not lose the weight I need to).

    A trainer once told me that weight loss is 90% what you put in your mouth. With each other's support we can make consistently better choices, and get back on the horse when we fall.

    Thanks again
  • poohpoohpeapod
    poohpoohpeapod Posts: 776 Member
    The trainer is correct..abs are made in the kitchen is the saying, and it is true.
  • fightingoldbadhabits
    fightingoldbadhabits Posts: 14 Member
    Yup, I believe it. I had a great day going, and kinda blew it last night - I was over by about 300 cals. Was ridiculously hungry all day - probably due to new eating style and working out. Still way better than I've done in a long time, so live and learn, back to the gym today.
  • fightingoldbadhabits
    fightingoldbadhabits Posts: 14 Member
    Can anyone tell me if I can reply to all your awesome comments on the computer vs. on my phone app? I cannot see the messages on the computer, and it just makes it easier to reply with a real keyboard.

    But there were some great comments, thank you all for the support so far! It is truly what I need.

    Hoping you all have a great day!
  • wizzybeth
    wizzybeth Posts: 3,578 Member
    Yes you can see and do this on the phone

  • wizzybeth
    wizzybeth Posts: 3,578 Member
    barneygood wrote: »
    I think motivation is fleeting and it's not what you need. What you need to succeed is resolve and determination. Figure out a plan and stick to it - include room for real life to happen (e.g. treats, special occasions), and don't go overboard with eating too little or working out an unsustainable amount. Be patient and consistent and you'll get there.

    Yes!!!

  • fightingoldbadhabits
    fightingoldbadhabits Posts: 14 Member
    Another "help me please" question. OK, I've had a pretty good start this week. Generally calories are in check, getting to workout. But I also travel for work a lot and I've got a 4 day convention coming up next week.

    #1 - I cannot exercise in the early AM, just does not work for me
    #2 - My schedule is not always my own. There are a lot demands of travel, limited healthy
    food choices (that I like and are satisfying), and generally I get worn down and that's
    when I begin binges, or at least eating a lot more than I need.
    #3 - Taking clients to nice dinners is soooo tempting. So much good stuff.
    #4 - Late nights at bar (I'm not a huge drinker), but it's a great place to socialize and the
    main thing is I get overly worn out - and head for the vending machines to get a
    Bear's Claw and Little Debbie donuts or something... Big problem for me.
    #5 - I think I'll be able to build in some time to workout through the day

    But in general, does anyone have really good advice from the road? I'm gong to try and control my schedule and take care of me, but as you all know the best laid plans....

  • poohpoohpeapod
    poohpoohpeapod Posts: 776 Member
    you do not have to exercise to lose weight. walk alot, take stairs at the hotel, sneaky activity . take some protein bars, nuts, with you in your luggage. any hotel has yogurt, fish, chicken, salads. do not drink, it isnt professional anyway. stop thinking about what you cant do. you got this.
  • poohpoohpeapod
    poohpoohpeapod Posts: 776 Member
    drink water!
  • fightingoldbadhabits
    fightingoldbadhabits Posts: 14 Member
    Thanks ppj!

    a little frustrated because I'm staying pretty close to my calories and working out and not really losing any weight. Especially in the beginning it seems like it should come out faster.
  • rocardy
    rocardy Posts: 14 Member
    As you are a previous athlete there is something to keep in mind, muscle weighs more than fat. You are making muscle during your workouts. You may not see a weight loss, however, you may have lost up to a half an inch somewhere in your structure. No weight loss this week, but you're clothes feel looser is still a good sign that you're doing something right.

    I weigh and measure (1x a week) the week I didn't lose weight I lost up to 1/4 of an inch in most places. Doesn't sound like a lot, but I didn't put much effort into my workouts either that week and for me it still had a good week.

    As for your traveling, the hotel room is big enough to jog in place, do pushups, sit ups, squats, lunges, dips using the chair, and using the stairs going up to your room (ask if they have a room between floors 3-5).

    You can make those stairs work for you in your favor. Make sure your knees come up to your waist before you step on the next step as you go up, coming down, stay in your tip toes. I do this at home, sounds funny but sometimes I feel like I go up and down more times than I breath.

    Good luck!

  • poohpoohpeapod
    poohpoohpeapod Posts: 776 Member
    you will lose, it is math. keep going, this is a process.
  • lreintsma
    lreintsma Posts: 41 Member
    My friend I can relate to your struggles. Power Vinyasa yoga helped me. It got me moving and working out. It taught me to accept myself through my improvement phase. I used to take 3 medications - anti depressant , mode stabilizer and an anti anxiety . I was able to stop taking those slowly after doing this yoga consistently. I also was an aggressive pot smoker my whole life and that habit seemed to melt away with the rest of my health problems. I wish you luck and I send you good vibes. Hold your head high and move forward. You've done it before and you can do it again. Please try yoga it is life changing.
  • fightingoldbadhabits
    fightingoldbadhabits Posts: 14 Member
    Thanks ppj!

    a little frustrated because I'm staying pretty close to my calories and working out and not really losing any weight. Especially in the beginning it seems like it should come out faster.
  • fightingoldbadhabits
    fightingoldbadhabits Posts: 14 Member
    Rocardy - Lots of great info and encouragement from you - Thank You! I will try to actually get to the health club at hotel Monday and Tuesday (Sunday and Wed. impossible). And I'm trying to do exercises at the gym I can do anywhere - esp. push ups and situps - so no matter what I should be able to do those. Thanks again
  • fightingoldbadhabits
    fightingoldbadhabits Posts: 14 Member
    lreintsma wrote: »
    My friend I can relate to your struggles. Power Vinyasa yoga helped me. It got me moving and working out. It taught me to accept myself through my improvement phase. I used to take 3 medications - anti depressant , mode stabilizer and an anti anxiety . I was able to stop taking those slowly after doing this yoga consistently. I also was an aggressive pot smoker my whole life and that habit seemed to melt away with the rest of my health problems. I wish you luck and I send you good vibes. Hold your head high and move forward. You've done it before and you can do it again. Please try yoga it is life changing.

    Ireintsma - Glad you can relate to the mood/depression issues. I actually already feel a slightly lessened urge to use the anti-anxiety. That's progress. Over time I'd really like to come off my diabetes meds, and last the depression meds. I'm taking these due to some extremely hard life lessons. I now see them as a valuable tool than an excuse and a crutch. Good for you in getting rid of the pot habit. I have first hand experience in a big way with what that seemingly harmless drug does to kids. Seen several of my sons friends become avid pot smokers, with a couple of deaths from heroin OD's from the progression of drugs they used. I do not buy into the whole "it's less harmful than alcohol" sell. Sorry if that offends some, but from the shoes I'm in I've seen several devestated lives - even those that only smoke pot. Best case their potential was nowhere near realized, worst case young kids are dead due to series of harder drugs.

    But I digress - bottom line, because of my experiences I'm particularly happy to hear you say the urge to use has melted away.

    Yoga is something I've tried a few times, I did like it even though I was about as limber as garden hose in winter. If I get some opportunities I'll try it again.

    Thanks for your feedback and good luck to you too as you continue on your journey.

  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
    Travel -

    I traveled a lot (60%-70% of my time country to country in my last jobs) and therefore had to develop a routine for it.

    - Use places that have a gym or pool - this was my evening relaxation time or find a gym nearby (lots of hotels have deals). Take 5 minutes to call or book accordingly.
    - Block one or more free nights to recover and exercise.
    - I always unplug the TV upon arrival, so I get regular sleep. If I want to watch something I go to the hotel gym with a tablet
    - Grab fruit or nutrient dense snacks at a supermarket or ask the hotel to stock a fruit-basket in your room, better choice than the heavy breakfast or vending snacks.
    - Business dinner out? Skip dessert. Order 1 thing.
    - Keep your training goals in mind. I hate morning exercise, hate it. But when I travel it was my prep time and got added in. Heck, make it a conversation topic with colleagues. I was having 5AM basketball games with my team at one point and business meetings IN the gym followed by breakfast. We did morning runs down the Champs Elysee for 6 months... Your work community struggles with the same thing. Help each other.
    - Pack your kit - exercise clothes, shoes, swim trunk always. ALWAYS. For me, this was part of my carry on. I tried different things - a jump rope, elastics, etc... I personally found them useless. However You Are Your Own Gym was a ok fall back tool to do a program when the gym was closed or inadequate.
    - You don't have to do the drinks at night thing every evening. If you have a 5AM appointment with yourself or others - well, it's a good excuse to cut down on that.
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