Disappointment

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VanillaBeanSeed
VanillaBeanSeed Posts: 562 Member
in Motivation and Support
I am just so discouraged and disappointed in myself lately.

I had done so well.. lost over 100lbs - was really committed to it all.

But this past year has been rough. I find myself having more and more 'cheat days'. I keep promising myself - "this is the last one, you cant go back to how you were". But I keep breaking that promise. And I end up hating myself for it.

What happened?

I just dont have any will power left..

Replies

  • debalaniz2015
    debalaniz2015 Posts: 11
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    I tend to the same with the slightest delight I have lost pounds.

  • Mrsallen6_11
    Mrsallen6_11 Posts: 416 Member
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    You know how marathon runners talk about the wall, that mental block they hint during a race that they feel they can't get through? You've hit yours. You need to push yourself to make it past this, to overcome this obstacle. Maybe you need to try a new activity, or find a motivational group to join to keep your mind off cheat eating. Maybe you need to reevaluate your goals, tweak your routine a bit, change your focus. You've come so far already, you can't let that go to waste. You are stronger than this and you know it.
  • FinFoxPT
    FinFoxPT Posts: 106 Member
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    If you want to take the Island... Burn the boats.

    You need to find your emotional connection to your weight loss. Not, if I'm that size I can wear this outfit, it what wearing the outfit will mean to you. Once you have the connection that's more meaningful than anything, nothing will get in your way. Like being in a burning building, once you find the exit, you don't stop.

    Next find out where your problems lie. If you still have foods in your life that mess up your body's natural rhythm then you will always battle them! It's like adding petrol into a diesel car. Sugar/starchy carbs/ artificial sweeteners are made to make you want more to be a better consumer for the economy. If everyone bought apples the fatcat share holders at Burger King would be homeless.

    In all honesty... Be honest with yourself. I don't know if you're married but if you were/are would you allow 'cheat days' in your marriage?? If you want a strong marriage you maintain levels of respect. If I want the body I have now, it's not worth anything less than my best because I'm just letting myself down.

    Hope this helps!
  • VanillaBeanSeed
    VanillaBeanSeed Posts: 562 Member
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    I dont think people quite get it. I think they think I am just being a Debbie Downer, whining about my struggles with my relationship with food and motivation. As someone who suffers from OCD and Anxiety - It feels like so0000o0o0o0 much more than that. I lapse in my healthy ways sends my mind into a spin - over thinking - re thinking - going around and around and finally ending here with a status - and looking for some kind words or help. Is that too much to ask for?
  • cheshirecatastrophe
    cheshirecatastrophe Posts: 1,395 Member
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    VanillaBeanSeed wrote: »
    I dont think people quite get it. I think they think I am just being a Debbie Downer, whining about my struggles with my relationship with food and motivation. As someone who suffers from OCD and Anxiety - It feels like so0000o0o0o0 much more than that. I lapse in my healthy ways sends my mind into a spin - over thinking - re thinking - going around and around and finally ending here with a status - and looking for some kind words or help. Is that too much to ask for?

    Would you accept a gentle challenge?

    It's actually the same challenge I was handed yesterday, so let's struggle towards it together: be kind(er) to yourself.

    Not in the sense of getting trashed to numb out the world or buying all the wonderful things sitting in your Amazon "buy it later" bin. In the sense of self-talk and how we think.

    Don't promise yourself you won't have any more bad days. Why do that? You know you will. You *know* it. You're looking for an excuse to beat yourself up inside, and that makes me sad, because you are awesome (evidence: you like vanilla, and know it is best straight from the bean) and do not deserve to be beaten up. :(

    Maybe try thinking, "I'll have a day where I eat more than I wanted to when I woke up. Because I changed my mind. It is okay to change my mind." I'm not saying you'll believe it, but at least think the words. And don't set any goals or rules about "tomorrow." Just let the next day be the next day. We're allowed to have multiple days in a row where we don't necessarily achieve everything we originally planned.

    Stop. Take a deep breath.

    Be nice to yourself, because you deserve it.
  • VanillaBeanSeed
    VanillaBeanSeed Posts: 562 Member
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    cheshirecatastrophe wrote: »
    VanillaBeanSeed wrote: »
    I dont think people quite get it. I think they think I am just being a Debbie Downer, whining about my struggles with my relationship with food and motivation. As someone who suffers from OCD and Anxiety - It feels like so0000o0o0o0 much more than that. I lapse in my healthy ways sends my mind into a spin - over thinking - re thinking - going around and around and finally ending here with a status - and looking for some kind words or help. Is that too much to ask for?

    Would you accept a gentle challenge?

    It's actually the same challenge I was handed yesterday, so let's struggle towards it together: be kind(er) to yourself.

    Not in the sense of getting trashed to numb out the world or buying all the wonderful things sitting in your Amazon "buy it later" bin. In the sense of self-talk and how we think.

    Don't promise yourself you won't have any more bad days. Why do that? You know you will. You *know* it. You're looking for an excuse to beat yourself up inside, and that makes me sad, because you are awesome (evidence: you like vanilla, and know it is best straight from the bean) and do not deserve to be beaten up. :(

    Maybe try thinking, "I'll have a day where I eat more than I wanted to when I woke up. Because I changed my mind. It is okay to change my mind." I'm not saying you'll believe it, but at least think the words. And don't set any goals or rules about "tomorrow." Just let the next day be the next day. We're allowed to have multiple days in a row where we don't necessarily achieve everything we originally planned.

    Stop. Take a deep breath.

    Be nice to yourself, because you deserve it.

    Thanks - I needed that =)
  • MrsTesterman1618
    MrsTesterman1618 Posts: 16
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    I can absolutely relate to this. I feel for you. For me it has become so hard not to over think and second guess and when I start doing that I begin to obsess on it and once I start obsessing you may as well count me down and out for a couple weeks but it always subsides. Everyone is their own worst critic. Better days will come for you soon :) you absolutely deserve it!
  • Datarn
    Datarn Posts: 79 Member
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    Well said cheshirecatastrophe. Congratulate yourself VanillaBean Seed- you have done a great job!!
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
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    When I look at your bio I see success. You've achieved your goal and more. What if you switched your goal to maintenance?

    Imagine a rabid squirrel in a cage. That's your hunger. You can either let it break free once in a while and run rampant all over your willpower, or you can hand feed it to gentleness and set it free for good.
  • gamesandgains
    gamesandgains Posts: 640 Member
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    Just do it. Stop making excuses. You'll thank yourself later. I went through the same thing about a year ago. It happens... up to you to dig yourself out.
  • boiledpeanutlver
    boiledpeanutlver Posts: 30 Member
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    It is obvious you have the tools to do whatever you desire. I really admire you for your accomplishment. What an inspiration you are.

    So take a break and reassess what YOU want from this journey. Go from there. Good luck!

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