Weight loss haters, what gives?

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  • determined24girl
    determined24girl Posts: 382 Member
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    clmarino55 wrote: »
    segacs wrote: »
    I think that some people legitimately need to hear the feedback that they're being unhealthy or are too thin, because they might well have an ED and people are concerned about them.

    You, however, sound like you're at a healthy weight and feeling good about yourself. Some insecure people might have trouble with others feeling happy and healthy. Maybe your husband is deep-down worried that if you get too healthy and fit, you won't be attracted to him anymore if he's a bit overweight? I'm sure even he knows that's silly, but fears like that aren't always rational.

    Most of the time, it's about them, not about you.

    Thank you!!! That was very helpful advice. :)

    My boyfriend (dating 7 years) actually told me that he was worried that I would leave him when I reached my goals. But I've noticed that the more i learn to love myself, the more I love him.

    I have had some friends that have seen me (after not seeing me for a while) say some thing like "God I hate you... J/k you look great!" or "your going to blow away if you don't stop losing weight" (I still have 16 lbs to go, I'm 5'7" 151lbs) I started off thinking "Oh they're just noticing that I've lost weight and are joking around" Then it started to get really annoying when they kept doing... every time i saw them.
  • clmarino55
    clmarino55 Posts: 13 Member
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    determined24girl wrote: »
    clmarino55 wrote: »
    segacs wrote: »
    I think that some people legitimately need to hear the feedback that they're being unhealthy or are too thin, because they might well have an ED and people are concerned about them.

    You, however, sound like you're at a healthy weight and feeling good about yourself. Some insecure people might have trouble with others feeling happy and healthy. Maybe your husband is deep-down worried that if you get too healthy and fit, you won't be attracted to him anymore if he's a bit overweight? I'm sure even he knows that's silly, but fears like that aren't always rational.

    Most of the time, it's about them, not about you.

    Thank you!!! That was very helpful advice. :)

    My boyfriend (dating 7 years) actually told me that he was worried that I would leave him when I reached my goals. But I've noticed that the more i learn to love myself, the more I love him.

    I have had some friends that have seen me (after not seeing me for a while) say some thing like "God I hate you... J/k you look great!" or "your going to blow away if you don't stop losing weight" (I still have 16 lbs to go, I'm 5'7" 151lbs) I started off thinking "Oh they're just noticing that I've lost weight and are joking around" Then it started to get really annoying when they kept doing... every time i saw them.

    I hear you! :)
  • lizzocat
    lizzocat Posts: 356 Member
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    When I first lost weight a few years ago, I was at about 160 and 5'6 (before i ballooned.. :'( ), and still wanted to lose at least 30 pounds. I literally had people tell me that I better not lose anymore weight, that I wouldn't look good, that I would be anorexic (130 isn't even at the super low end of bmi for 5'6)

    Some people have legitimate concerns, and some people just can't wrap their head around someone's new appearance. It's frustrating, but at some point, people get used to the new you
  • SergeantSausage
    SergeantSausage Posts: 1,673 Member
    edited February 2015
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    RosieWest8 wrote: »
    when I first joined MFP I weighed like 175lbs and am 5'3". I was eating a lot healthier at work and there were many women there who told me 'Oh, you don't need to lose weight' or would comment about how healthy I was being. They weren't being mean but I thought it was weird they were telling me I didn't need to lose weight because I definitely was overweight and didn't look great. I think it makes others uncomfortable sometimes to see another person being consistent (eating healthy and working out) and seeing results when they wish they were doing that but for whatever reasons aren't.


    Welcome to The Crab Bucket.

    It's actually a good place to be - it means you are doing things that others won't and going places they fear to go. You are ahead of the pack.



  • spoonyspork
    spoonyspork Posts: 238 Member
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    Yup. Still have at least 10 lbs to lose to feel in a 'safe' point of healthy BMI (and I'll still be at a high point on the healthy end of the BMI scale then, but I carry weight really well and look WAY lighter than I am, and prefer my softer curves). Starting when I was still 20lbs overweight (actually overweight; not just over where I want to be), people started telling me I looked fine and should stop losing, asking with real concern if I'd developed an eating disorder (maybe because I didn't stop eating Doritos and donuts and they thought I couldn't possibly be *enjoying* myself on a diet and was puking it up, or something?), etc etc. Friends who are also trying to lose at least outright told me they were jealous and didn't want to feel like they were losing the 'game' (???), but... yeah. Everyone from coworkers to workers at the restaurants I frequent.

    Hubby hasn't said it though: just that he thought I was sexy before and now I've become irresistible. LOL. Of course, he's in this with me and has lost at least as much if not more, so the feeling is mutual :D

    So yeah... it happens!
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,874 Member
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    It depends...I told my sister to stop losing weight because even though she was at the low end of a "healthy" BMI, she looked sickly...her weight did not fit with her athletic frame and she burned a lot of muscle mass up and just looked like a bag of bones and skin. I wasn't hating or jealous or whatever...she's my sister...I was concerned.

    BMI is a range in order to accommodate various body types, not so you can pick and choose an arbitrary number within that range and call it "healthy."

    It may very well be that people are jealous or whatever...but in my experience, when people who love you and care about you start making these kind of comments, it's a good idea to at least pay some heed.
  • goingforahundred
    goingforahundred Posts: 590 Member
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    clmarino55 wrote: »
    Has anyone had trouble with people telling them they are too thin and they need to stop losing weight? Instead of cheering you on... They seem to try to derail your goals! My husband is included in this!! He gets pouty (he's a tad over weight) and jealous. It's... Annoying to say the least. Lol. Anyone else feel this way!?!

    *side note* I'm 5'3 and after having my daughter I was 132 and not working out... I felt unhealthy! I started eating healthier and working out daily and am now 113!!! I feel great and confident again!!! :) I don't think that's too thin... Right?*

    I have trouble with people(family) telling me that the goal I have set for myself is too low!! I haven't even reached it yet! I am not even half way there! I am not sure what to take from it. I just tell them if I am satisfied at a higher weight I will stop there, but for now 132 is my goal!!!

  • ruggedshutter
    ruggedshutter Posts: 389 Member
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    My brother and his wife were like this a few years ago. I lost 50 pounds and they were constantly telling me that I needed to eat more. They were on Weight Watchers and not losing any weight. An example of the way they ate, I saw the two of them put down an entire taco kit. That's 1/2lb of beef each along with seasoning, shells and toppings. It amazed me that they couldn't figure out why they weren't losing weight.
  • ShibaEars
    ShibaEars Posts: 3,928 Member
    edited February 2015
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    My parents make comments. I'm 5'2" and about 140 lbs currently (I tend to hover around this weight). They have told me not to lose "too much weight" and my mom thought I was "addicted to working out" when I worked out 3 times a week.

    I'm all for people speaking up if there is a concern, but come on... 3 hours a week of exercise is "addicted"?

    ETA: I find it odd that the comment on my exercise, but have no concerns about my brother who does no physical activity, spends hours watching TV/playing video games & eats fast food several times a week.
  • clmarino55
    clmarino55 Posts: 13 Member
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    SergeantSausage wrote: »
    RosieWest8 wrote: »
    when I first joined MFP I weighed like 175lbs and am 5'3". I was eating a lot healthier at work and there were many women there who told me 'Oh, you don't need to lose weight' or would comment about how healthy I was being. They weren't being mean but I thought it was weird they were telling me I didn't need to lose weight because I definitely was overweight and didn't look great. I think it makes others uncomfortable sometimes to see another person being consistent (eating healthy and working out) and seeing results when they wish they were doing that but for whatever reasons aren't.


    Welcome to The Crab Bucket.

    It's actually a good place to be - it means you are doing things that others won't and going places they fear to go. You are ahead of the pack.



    THIS IS AWESOME!!! haha!
  • clmarino55
    clmarino55 Posts: 13 Member
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    ShibaEars wrote: »
    My parents make comments. I'm 5'2" and about 140 lbs currently (I tend to hover around this weight). They have told me not to lose "too much weight" and my mom thought I was "addicted to working out" when I worked out 3 times a week.

    I'm all for people speaking up if there is a concern, but come on... 3 hours a week of exercise is "addicted"?

    This is almost exactly my issue!!!! :) im NOT sickly either. I have a lot of muscle and still some chub around my lower back... :-p

    I also get the same thing someone above said, about the friends/family trying to lose weight too and you watch them eat an entire taco kit. Lol (I've def been there lol but I reserve those slips for cheat days)

    This all takes SOOOO much dedication and will power. Id rather eat an entire bag of Oreos and sometimes I walk by the cabinet 12 times haha but I end up eating an apple. I think my frustration comes with people not being supportive and trying to derail or make you feel bad about yourself. It's really really hard work to maintain this lifestyle.

    Another side note... My husband tells me I look good but usually follows it up with how fat he is and then squeezes his belly. I think he looks great! He could lose a few (for health reasons, not looks) but he doesn't have to. It'd be a lot easier to stay focused and being healthy if there was support and not ice cream and French fries dangled in front of my face. Lol. :)
  • Misterfish96
    Misterfish96 Posts: 26 Member
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    I've run into that too. It's a big change for you and remember that it can also be a big change for them.

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