Worried about my excessive eating and weight gain?

When you're recovering from an ED, it's really hard to objectively decide when/ how to restrict. I know where you're coming from, though, I struggled with bulimia as a college student, and once you're no longer underweight or actively purging, some programs don't know what to do with you.

Can you find another therapist or nutritionist with experience with eating disorder recovery? I think that would be safest because it's really hard to diet on your own when you tend to develop food issues, and so close to recovery, I can't even imagine attempting it.

There are some great calorie (TDEE) calculators out there that should give you an ideal calorie count for maintenance based on your age, activity level, height and weight. I'm betting you're looking at around 1700-1800 but it's best to get a good number, log your food to stay as close to it as possible and watch the scale to validate. If the scale is moving steadily up or down (not fluctuating on a daily basis which is normal) then you can adjust the calorie goal accordingly.

I crave cereal too. That's kind if interesting. Maybe it's the years of torment on your bones that your body is craving calcium?

It could be that after a time of starvation (I'm not sure how long you struggled with anorexia), your brain is now in evolutionary survival instinct mode -- which means it's telling you to eat EVERYTHING just in case you happen upon another starvation situation again. After a prolonged calorie deficit or period of starvation, your brain's evolutionary instinct will kick in and, to keep you alive, will constantly send signals to eat, even if you're not hungry.

I lost about 70 pounds in a period of six months by eating at a huge calorie deficit and exercising. My body put up with that for a while, then it shut down. I stopped losing weight. I tried eating even less to lose more weight, and about 2 weeks after restricting calories even more, I got the most intense cravings. I COULD NOT stop eating. I CRAVED cereal too! I would eat an entire box in a sitting, even. I ate meals or large snacks every 60-90 minutes.

The book Brain Over Binge by Kathryn Hansen really helped me get a handle on eating sensibly again, without restricting. I'm sorry you've struggled with an eating disorder. I hope you find help and peace. For now, give your body the nourishment it needs! The book can be a helpful tool for you to re-learn how to eat when you're hungry and stop when you're satisfied.

Best of luck!

Like everyone said here, please find a therapist. Call your inpatient treatment and tell them you need to be seeing a therapist and a nutritionist, who are people in the area you can see. Please don't get dissuaded by feeling like you've been dropped in cold water - it sounds like they discharged you without really setting up a support network for you. All or nothing behaviours are incredibly common for people with EDs, so you aren't alone. Did they pretty much just do supervised eating while you were in treatment? I know some of them are very bare bones just for weight gain.

Are you eating 3-4 meals a day on days you eat about 1400c a day and not doing any sort of restrictive practices? I really, really would suggest getting into therapy ASAP. So sorry you're struggling, but don't give up even if you feel overwhelmed right now!