Learning how to eat again.

Well this is it.

I've decided to quit thinkin about food, focus on making healthier food choices, and continuing to exercise regularly, but to heck with the scale. To heck with muscle definition, to heck with looking great shirtless, to heck with it all. I guess My weight will land where it lands.

Looking for people who have experience with the frustration of dieting and kind of giving it up?

I'm 27 male 5'9 135 now (gained probably 12 pounds in the past 3 weeks completely off diet but still exercising).

Obviously seeing physical changes in the mirror sucks as I was very happy with my physique while trying to eat clean and exercising, but at a certain point I just couldn't do it anymore, and decided I guess I'll just let my body eat (and boy have I been eating!)

I started about a year ago, 150 lbs. Successfully exercised and dieted my way all the way to around 125.

To me though the problem with dieting and drastically altering the way that you have eaten your entire life is that your body seems to react very poorly to it. I feel like even when I eat only clean while foods my body is still missing something. I know I'll catch crap for saying that but it's true. It's almost as if our brains are wired to eat and live a certain way. And no amount of healthy eating choices is going to satisfy the cravings and nourishment to fulfill them that your body has been accustomed to having for so long.

So all in all just looking for support here, from anyone who's been in the vicious diet cycle even once and has committed to just letting their body get back to the size that it wants to be and to live a healthy life filled with good choices and happiness, not by living and dying by the scale and the mirror? Is there a trick to getting my mind off food during this time? Is there a trick to not feeling depressed while the pounds are coming back on again? This is all very odd and disheartening but I really welcome the advice!!!
Chuck M.