Dealing with siblings eating my stuff?
Replies
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I predict he is going to be one of those people who steal lunches at work. Ugh.0
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FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »Katerina9408 wrote: »SuperGalSam wrote: »Hi all!
I've just started trying to eat healthier, I live with my parents and have siblings in the house. I've been buying myself healthy snacks to snack on (such as fruit, nuts etc...) but I'm having the problem of my 13 year old brother eating all my stuff?
We have family food in the cupboards, but it's all crisps, chocolate, biscuits etc... Which he is welcome to eat(I can't snack on these, obviously.) yet he still seems to thinks it's okay to eat my stuff? I don't mind him taking the odd apple, grapes etc... But he can't just do that. If he starts eating grapes, he'll eat the lot. If he has an apple, he'll have to have 3. I can't afford to keep buying myself this stuff if he's going to eat it all!
Now, I've tried sitting him down and asking him politely and he says he won't eat it...And then within the next hour he's eating it again! I've asked my parents to ask him, yet he still won't listen.
Is there any way I can go about this?
I would be happy if my brother would prefer apple over chips.I would even share with him if he ever wanted.
It's not her job to buy fruit and vegetables for her brother. That is her parents job.
Money is obviously an issue for her and it isn't right that she is purchasing the food for herself and her brother eats it, despite being told not to.
It could be her job to find another house to store her fruit and veg if she prefers. Geez a little patience and gratitude to the parents, please?
Let's be a little more realistic, please.
Children should listen, like they are supposed to. If the brother listened to what he is being told, there would be no problem.
LOL
How many siblings did you have growing up?
Three. We were taught to do as we are told, listen to our elders, and not take things that aren't ours.
Probably a couple boys in the mix there, great job! To be honest, for me, the concept of my food vs your food doesn't really exist in a family home. It's just weird. Anything visible in the house is fair game to keep everyone nourished. Unless it's gross and others don't like it. If they do like it, either buy more or be prepared for it to be gone rather quickly (cake, etc). Probably explains some of my inability to keep treats in the house to be honest - some things just get eaten till they're gone
Two brothers (one deceased) and a sister.
I totally understand that.
It exists in my home because I have medical conditions (Crohn's, insulin resistance, hypoglycemia, POTS) that require me to eat a certain way 90% of the time. More than 80% of the time, I am purchasing my own groceries because I don't feel it is right for my parents to use their money on food only I am eating. I am also almost 22 years old and can afford to buy some groceries each week.
When my parents go grocery shopping, they ask us to make a list of anything we would like them to pick up. If my sister asks for something specific (usually Caesar salad kits), it is understood that it is just for her.
My brother, who is 19, will buy beef jerky and other snacks and expects us not to eat it. He goes to school in North Carolina now but in the past, he would put the food in his room so it wouldn't get eaten.
Not ALL food is "claimed" in our household. Most is up for grabs for whomever wants it.
If her parents were buying her apples and grapes and whatever else she purchases herself, I would say the food needs to be shared amongst everyone in the house. But because she bought it with her own money, I feel it is disrespectful for her brother to continue to eat her food after he has been asked not to multiple times.0 -
fallenoaks37 wrote: »FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »FatFreeFrolicking wrote: »Katerina9408 wrote: »SuperGalSam wrote: »Hi all!
I've just started trying to eat healthier, I live with my parents and have siblings in the house. I've been buying myself healthy snacks to snack on (such as fruit, nuts etc...) but I'm having the problem of my 13 year old brother eating all my stuff?
We have family food in the cupboards, but it's all crisps, chocolate, biscuits etc... Which he is welcome to eat(I can't snack on these, obviously.) yet he still seems to thinks it's okay to eat my stuff? I don't mind him taking the odd apple, grapes etc... But he can't just do that. If he starts eating grapes, he'll eat the lot. If he has an apple, he'll have to have 3. I can't afford to keep buying myself this stuff if he's going to eat it all!
Now, I've tried sitting him down and asking him politely and he says he won't eat it...And then within the next hour he's eating it again! I've asked my parents to ask him, yet he still won't listen.
Is there any way I can go about this?
I would be happy if my brother would prefer apple over chips.I would even share with him if he ever wanted.
It's not her job to buy fruit and vegetables for her brother. That is her parents job.
Money is obviously an issue for her and it isn't right that she is purchasing the food for herself and her brother eats it, despite being told not to.
It could be her job to find another house to store her fruit and veg if she prefers. Geez a little patience and gratitude to the parents, please?
Let's be a little more realistic, please.
Children should listen, like they are supposed to. If the brother listened to what he is being told, there would be no problem.
LOL
How many siblings did you have growing up?
Three. We were taught to do as we are told, listen to our elders, and not take things that aren't ours.
Probably a couple boys in the mix there, great job! To be honest, for me, the concept of my food vs your food doesn't really exist in a family home. It's just weird. Anything visible in the house is fair game to keep everyone nourished. Unless it's gross and others don't like it. If they do like it, either buy more or be prepared for it to be gone rather quickly (cake, etc). Probably explains some of my inability to keep treats in the house to be honest - some things just get eaten till they're gone
If it's all purchased by the parents, that would make sense. But she purchased this for herself with her own earnings. That's different. It's not her job to work to support her brother. The brother is old enough to respect that and the parents should address it again with him.
Again, to store in what house? In what fridge? The idea of food that everyone wants to eat being displayed publicly in a family home and one person saying no, nobody else touch this (and yeah she's trying to lose weight but she doesn't have any dietary restrictions as a result of an ailment such as diabetes or lactose intolerance). It just reeks of selfishness to me. Where I come from you either share it or hide it, or go find some other house where ALL the food would be yours with nobody else to "steal" it from you. Frankly, it would indeed be your responsibility to engage in the negotiations to ensure there is enough for everyone. If fruit and veg is so good for her, why in the world would it not be for her brother?0 -
push his head in the toilet and give him a swirly. then he will understand.
Okay on the serious note, maybe you can save up for a mini fridge in your bedroom?0 -
I'm not sure that there is absolutely no fruit and veg for her brother if he wants it - the issue could be that the OP has bought her own snacks so as not to rely on her parents providing it for her and so she's less tempted by chocolate, and her brother is then eating ALL of that for whatever reason. She said herself she wouldn't mind sharing with him, but she can't afford to endlessly replace it because it's gone before she gets any.0
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I'm not sure that there is absolutely no fruit and veg for her brother if he wants it - the issue could be that the OP has bought her own snacks so as not to rely on her parents providing it for her and so she's less tempted by chocolate, and her brother is then eating ALL of that for whatever reason. She said herself she wouldn't mind sharing with him, but she can't afford to endlessly replace it because it's gone before she gets any.
What I think she should do is get the parents to buy more fruit/veg. A clever twist might be to find some she likes but the brother hates... Ultimately, if even the parents cannot afford to feed the bottomless pit of a teenage boy tummy then it may indeed be time to (re)introduce the kicks in the nuts..
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"I work and buy my own food with my money. You ate my stuff without asking. That was not communal property. Mom and dad buy your food. My name was on it/it was in my box/etc. You owe me this many $ for what you took."
Buy gross food. Hide the good stuff (my teenager never looks in the potato bin). Label your food. Get a locking box or trunk. Put your food in your room. Get a small refrigerator for your room.
Talk to your parents about their kid stealing your stuff or have a family meeting about spliting the grocery bill while you live with them. Move out.0 -
I'm not sure that there is absolutely no fruit and veg for her brother if he wants it - the issue could be that the OP has bought her own snacks so as not to rely on her parents providing it for her and so she's less tempted by chocolate, and her brother is then eating ALL of that for whatever reason. She said herself she wouldn't mind sharing with him, but she can't afford to endlessly replace it because it's gone before she gets any.
What I think she should do is get the parents to buy more fruit/veg. A clever twist might be to find some she likes but the brother hates... Ultimately, if even the parents cannot afford to feed the bottomless pit of a teenage boy tummy then it may indeed be time to (re)introduce the kicks in the nuts..
Makes total sense - if the chocolate and crisps aren't being eaten at the same rate, that frees up cash for other stuff!0 -
Again, to store in what house? In what fridge? The idea of food that everyone wants to eat being displayed publicly in a family home and one person saying no, nobody else touch this (and yeah she's trying to lose weight but she doesn't have any dietary restrictions as a result of an ailment such as diabetes or lactose intolerance). It just reeks of selfishness to me. Where I come from you either share it or hide it, or go find some other house where ALL the food would be yours with nobody else to "steal" it from you. Frankly, it would indeed be your responsibility to engage in the negotiations to ensure there is enough for everyone. If fruit and veg is so good for her, why in the world would it not be for her brother?
It seems more selfish for her brother to take all her food, she said she doesn't mind him taking a little, but he snarfs loads of it. We share the majority of our food at home but if someone brought something special I would ask first.
I would say, keep it in your room or ask your parents if they could buy more fruit as your brother obviously likes it.0 -
When I had roommates that would not stay out of my stuff I got a mini fridge for my bedroom. Kept the things I did not want them to eat or drink in it. You could get a mini fridge and then keep your door locked.0
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Drive him out to the woods. Leave him there. Done.0
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Isabelle_1929 wrote: »Take something he owns and that he loves, and flush it down the toilet or break it with a hammer.
lol0 -
Thirteen year old boys eat lots of food. Get your parents to buy snacks and readily available food for him to grab.0
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I didn't mean for thi is to turn into a debate, sorry guys. To make a few things clear;
Parents do buy fruit and vegetables for everyone, I just buy my own because I am trying to become more independen t.
I do pay for room and lodgings.
I've told my brother he can share my stuff, I have also grown up in a household where everything is to be shared. But as I said, it's just the fact he has to eat it all in 10 seconds flat before I get a chance.
I understand it's just his age. I appreciate he will eat everything in sight. Plus he's VERY active so his body must crave it all. But as stated above, the family has fruit, veggies, chocolate and cupboards and fridges full of stuff. He doesnt go without.
I am currently saving for a mortgage to move out, unfortunately that's gonna take a little bit of time
Thank you for all your replies, 0 -
Okay, yeah - I'm going to have to agree with the knee to the nuts suggestion.SuperGalSam wrote: »Also thank you for everybody elses replies! I'll keep it all in mind. I'll try talking to my parents again...
I just finished this conversation with him
Me; It's really important to me that you don't eat my stuff. I'm really trying to lose weight and I can't do that if I only have crap stuff to eat.
Him; You wont ever be able to lose weight!
Thanks for the confidence, bro!
But anyways! Thanks again guys!
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sgthaggard wrote: »
Okay, yeah - I'm going to have to agree with the knee to the nuts suggestion.SuperGalSam wrote: »Also thank you for everybody elses replies! I'll keep it all in mind. I'll try talking to my parents again...
I just finished this conversation with him
Me; It's really important to me that you don't eat my stuff. I'm really trying to lose weight and I can't do that if I only have crap stuff to eat.
Him; You wont ever be able to lose weight!
Thanks for the confidence, bro!
But anyways! Thanks again guys!
He says worse things every day, I've learned to take it with a pinch of salt. He's mean to everyone haha I'm sure he'll grow out of it!
But a kick in the nuts wouldn't do him too much harm every now and then! Haha0 -
if he's going to be disrespectful enough to basically say "screw you, I'm going to continue to eat what you've bought for yourself because you're not going to lose weight anyway"....several good ideas have been brought up.
1. start taking things of his.....if you feel guilty, keep in mind that depending on what it is, you can always give it back later. just give him plenty of time to miss it.
2. "treat" your food with a little extra something. I know someone at work who used to get their lunches stolen all the time. It was a big place. Hundreds of employees...very hard to nail the culprit. So, one day he laced his food with ex-lax. not only did this find them out quite quickly (gosh, that guy is running for the bathroom pretty fast...and often) but also served as a punishment that made them think twice. His lunch was never stolen again.
3. I'd suggest a mini fridge in your room. with a lock on it. they're usually not terribly expensive and can fit a fair bit when you're just one person using it. For now though, stuff like apples don't actually have to be refridgerated, so you could keep those in your room.
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I have five brothers. Growing up they were always in the kitchen eating everything that was bought. My parents would buy treats or other such stuff that they wanted all of us to keep our paws off of. So, in order for that to happen, my dad would come home from the store with bags and bags of food and 2-3 bags always went upstairs to their room. They had a mini fridge and a small bookshelf for it. Under no circumstances were we allowed to enter and partake. I am in the boat that you should get a mini fridge for your room and keep your snacks in there. 13 yr old boys are bottomless pits and if its in sight, its fair game. Unfortunately, they also don't think beyond "wow that looks really good and I am starving".
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Mini fridge in your own room (locked of course). That or take money out of his piggy bank or ask mom to give you his allowance (if he gets one) to cover the costs.SuperGalSam wrote: »Hi all!
I've just started trying to eat healthier, I live with my parents and have siblings in the house. I've been buying myself healthy snacks to snack on (such as fruit, nuts etc...) but I'm having the problem of my 13 year old brother eating all my stuff?
We have family food in the cupboards, but it's all crisps, chocolate, biscuits etc... Which he is welcome to eat(I can't snack on these, obviously.) yet he still seems to thinks it's okay to eat my stuff? I don't mind him taking the odd apple, grapes etc... But he can't just do that. If he starts eating grapes, he'll eat the lot. If he has an apple, he'll have to have 3. I can't afford to keep buying myself this stuff if he's going to eat it all!
Now, I've tried sitting him down and asking him politely and he says he won't eat it...And then within the next hour he's eating it again! I've asked my parents to ask him, yet he still won't listen.
Is there any way I can go about this?
I had this problem when I was still living at home at 19 and my brothers keep eating my food that I bought.
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Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Is it possible for you to get a weekend job to buy your own extra food? Unless you can talk to your parents, since talking to your brother isn't helping. Super frustrating. Explain to your parents you're trying to make healthy changes and ask if they could help you manage the situation. If not, I guess the only option is to make your own money.0
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Is it possible for you to get a weekend job to buy your own extra food? Unless you can talk to your parents, since talking to your brother isn't helping. Super frustrating. Explain to your parents you're trying to make healthy changes and ask if they could help you manage the situation. If not, I guess the only option is to make your own money.
making her own money isn't the issue....since she did say this food is what she bought for herself, she's already done that. and asked her parents to talk to him...he's just being disrespectful and taking it from her anyway
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Honestly, in my house growing up, it was like an episode of some kind of Survivor reality show. If you wanted to HAVE food, you had to hide it. We had very little money and so had an extremely tight food budget, and whenever my mom bought anything, no matter what it was, my older brother (who I highly suspect had binge eating disorder) would eat the ENTIRE grocery shopping haul in ONE DAY. Entire bags of bread, whole jars/bags of cheese, sweets, boxes of cereal, everything. In. One. Day.
Our only solution? Everyone in the house who was working had to buy their own fridge and ration our food. Yes, seriously. As the only one (of the children) working at the time, I bought extra groceries on top of what my mom could afford, refrigerated them in my room, and rationed it out to my other siblings and my mom. When I had to leave my room for any reason, I had to lock it and keep the key with me at all times. It was THAT bad.
While it doesn't sound like you have a situation of that enormity.. Buying a tiny fridge to keep in your room and lock your fruits etc. in wouldn't be a bad idea. If you do so, you can still share food with him if you choose to--He just can't take it without asking.0
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