Comparing myself to others :(

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thicknfit86
thicknfit86 Posts: 9
in Motivation and Support
Ive lost 100 pounds in the last year. I thought this would make everything better, but its only gotten worse. I find myself comparing my looks to others. I will see someone with the body I want and get so sad. Does anyone else do this? Ive been doing it all of my life and its gotten worse with weight loss...

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  • savouryduck
    savouryduck Posts: 43 Member
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    You need to find out exactly what it is you're expecting from yourself and your life. It's tough but you need to ask yourself some personal questions and be entirely honest with yourself!

    Looking to other people will not help, they'll have a bunch of their own insecurities to deal with. We all do, it's part of the mess known as being human.
  • iamaprincessx
    iamaprincessx Posts: 78 Member
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    Its normal for a human being. I bet even Naomi Campbell has personal body hang ups and obsesses over them. You need to learn to love yourself and your body! You should be incredibly proud of it...... I can't imagine all the blood sweat and tears it took losing A HUNDRED POUNDS! you are amazing and don't forget it x <3 (*)
  • wennim
    wennim Posts: 276 Member
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    I know exactly how you feel. I have lost over 100 lbs and I know we are our own worst critics. I too find myself comparing myself to others and being disappointed. I still have a ways to go on my journey but I know that I will never look like them. Everyone tells me I need to be proud of what I accomplished but all I can think is "yeah, but I still don't look like that person". I need to keep reminding myself that those people have never had the weight to lose. I realized how bad it was for me to be that heavy and did what I had to do to better myself. I am trying really hard to accept myself as I am...a healthier, stronger, fitter version of the same person.
    Question for you: Do you recognize yourself in the mirror or a glass door? If I am looking at myself and know it is me I am so much more critical.
  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
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    Congratulations on your weight loss. :mrgreen: Rather than paying so much attention to others, find some activities so that you can get involved in new things.
  • cheshirecatastrophe
    cheshirecatastrophe Posts: 1,395 Member
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    Couple of things:

    There is a certain pressure in being "almost good enough" that's not there when we're further away from 'ideal.' A certain letdown that comes with realizing all our effort got us what we wanted but not what we secretly hoped for. I think this blog post, by a fitness model and runner, is incredibly eye-opening about body ideals and presentation versus reality.

    Weight loss is amazing, but on it's own it does nothing to fix underlying self esteem problems (that being overweight can play into, but does not *cause*). So, OP: why are awesome? Do you tell yourself about the ways in which you are awesome? Are you nice to yourself? (I don't mean in terms of "buying things I want," I mean in terms of positive self-talk and being gentle when you mess up)
  • XoXoChantelXoXo
    XoXoChantelXoXo Posts: 1
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    I do this quite frequently, but it just depresses me more and more. Then I find myself making bad choices food wise.
  • ntinkham88
    ntinkham88 Posts: 130 Member
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    I'd say use that as motivation! Find out what it is in others that you're jealous of and work at achieving it. Also remind yourself of what you love about your own body. I'm sure many people are jealous of you! :)
  • thicknfit86
    thicknfit86 Posts: 9
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    thank u all I feel so much better meeting people who have experienced this!!!!!! I am definitely going to work on this!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God bless
  • paigeethridge
    paigeethridge Posts: 9 Member
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    Next time ask the person you are jealous of what they do to maintain their figure. Add it to your routine. You will learn something, often times feel encouraged by the conversation it sparks, and over time will realize even the people you are jealous of are jealous of someone else. I struggle with this daily. I understand what you are going through. I just take it in and make myself better.
  • kellycasey5
    kellycasey5 Posts: 486 Member
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    Sad because you don't look like other people? Might be time to see a professional for some help if you have done this all of your life as it is time to stop. It is one thing to want to better yourself and improve your health/appearance. It is one thing to admire someone else (their body, their haircut, whatever). It is another thing to see someone with something you want and be sad. Might be time to get to the bottom of that and turn it around.
  • kbmnurse
    kbmnurse Posts: 2,484 Member
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    Stop. Every person is different, thank God. Accept yourself and your beauty.
  • stevesgirl824
    stevesgirl824 Posts: 74 Member
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    kellycasey5 wrote: »
    Sad because you don't look like other people? Might be time to see a professional for some help if you have done this all of your life as it is time to stop. It is one thing to want to better yourself and improve your health/appearance. It is one thing to admire someone else (their body, their haircut, whatever). It is another thing to see someone with something you want and be sad. Might be time to get to the bottom of that and turn it around.

    I agree. It's awesome you (OP) admitted this, but apparently losing weight uncovered some deeper emotions. A therapist would be great at helping you gain a healthier prespective. I have been in and out counseling the last 12 months and Im so much better off than I was a year ago. ((((( hugs )))))
  • goofydee30
    goofydee30 Posts: 61 Member
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    Wow, I just wanted to compliment you OP for shedding the pounds & keeping them off what a motivation/inspiration you are to me! I would also have to agree with others when they comment & say stop & love yourself, be proud of getting fitter & healthier, not everyone loves them self but we have to learn to. Keep up the Awesome Job, in fact all of you keep up the good job!

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