How do I get over this hump and get started?

berry987
berry987 Posts: 11 Member
edited November 13 in Motivation and Support
I am currently 60 pounds overweight. My story is long, with lots of weight loss and weight gains over the last 20 years (I'm 40). I am so burned out. I am tired of losing and regaining, of debating what type of eating is best (I've done them all - weight watchers, Jenny Craig, intuitive eating, vegan, vegetarian, South Beach, Atkins, paleo, primal, WAPF...to name a few ;)

I am humbly coming back to calorie counting. The good old fashioned way. I'm a "healthy" eater - few processed foods, no soda, I rarely eat out, but when I write down what I eat I am eating above my goal for weight loss.
So of course I'm not losing!

I'm just so tired of it, but I am having a hard time staying on track and staying within weight loss calories. It's really frustrating when I realize I am only eating maybe 200 calories above weight loss and yet I just continue to do so. Life is very stressful at the moment, a big move, four kids, job uncertainty for my husband, but honestly, life has been like that for a year now so I have to learn to take care of myself within this life.

I'm wondering - did anyone have any motivation problems in the beginning (from basically burnout) and how did you get over them? I'm resolving to log in every day. I just saw someone suggests pre-logging your day so there are no questions about what to eat. That's a good idea for me. Any other thoughts? I walk a lot - I live in an urban area so I hardly use my car. I'll need to up my exercise at some point, but in general, I do ok in that department.

Any motivational tips are appreciated!

Replies

  • Alyssa_Is_LosingIt
    Alyssa_Is_LosingIt Posts: 4,696 Member
    What helped me was realizing that the time is going to pass anyway. I'd rather be even just a little closer to my goal 3 months from now, than to wish I had started today 3 months from now.

    Also, logging your food really doesn't take that much effort. You can start by just logging everything you eat, even if you don't reduce intake. Just log it. It will eventually become a habit, and then you can reduce your intake.

    Lastly, just do it. I have been battling post partum depression for the past year and kept making excuses for myself and saying that I lacked the motivation to get started. I knew I didn't want to stay overweight, but I didn't feel like putting in the work. That year came and went, and I felt like I had just wasted all of that time. Looking at it that way and realizing that I was no closer to my goal made me even more depressed. That's when I realized that there is never going to be a "right" time. I just had to start. So I did. I've lost 6 lbs since January and I'm so happy now that I started when I did. I didn't want to waste another year making excuses and feeling sorry for myself.

    Good luck with your goals, and I hope that you can find it in yourself to just do what you know you have to do. Easier said than done, but you can do it. :)
  • Wreathy
    Wreathy Posts: 61 Member
    I'm your age, I understand. I'm fortunate in that I don't have a struggle with portion size or meals (although cheese blew me out of the water, ugh), but I do have a problem with chocolate. So I've made sure to allow myself something sweet within my deficiency allowance.

    If what you are eating is bringing you over the deficiency range, you may need to adjust it (with the kidlets, if you're not already, perhaps preparing separate meal components for yourself might help? Kitchen scales will help too. I weigh absolutely everything.)

    A support network - you really need one. Three of my best friends and I are doing this together. I have the most weight to lose and they're invaluable. If you don't have 'real life' friends who can support you, find some on here.

    As for motivation issues - yes, yes indeed. Before I learned about calorie counting I vowed in December 2013 to lose weight. It didn't work out very well, and I gave up and started eating more chocolate and putting on more weight. So that in itself was a motivator. I looked in the mirror earlier this year and said 'no more', and then cried and cried.

    It is true, though, you do need to 'just do it'. Every day, when you wake up, make a conscious decision to do it. Baby steps - focus at first on each day. Make a mini goal, a medium goal and then your end goal. Give yourself rewards (my gfs and I are going for a massage after we all reach our mini goals, just as an example). Allow yourself a big pat on the back at the end of the day when your numbers are in the green, and be kind to yourself if they're not. You can do it!
  • Flissbo
    Flissbo Posts: 302 Member
    Sorry to hear you have lots of stress at the moment. I really hope things improve for you all soon.

    I believe some people on here track on a weekly basis rather than daily, by that I mean if you go over on one day, just go a little under the next. As long as you're within your limits for the week at the end of each week then you should still lose. You can use the nutrition section on your page and look at your weekly graph it produces to do this. I think people track this way so they don't best themselves up if they go over one day, they just make up for it the next day. might fit in better with your busy lifestyle.

    You don't say what age your kids are, and I know you're dealing with a lot, but if your kids are still at an age when it's cool to do family stuff then maybe you could do family bikerides, ball game in the park etc. This will count as exercise but exercise is also a good way to help with stress as it rids you of some stress hormones (adrenaline and cortisol) - think flight or fight reactions!

    Finally, I've heard visualisation can be a powerful tool! Visualize your future self and how your future, slimmer, healthier self will eat and start eating like that now. I think i'd struggle to do this myself but I've read lots of people suggest it and say it helps.

    Best of luck, you can do this!!



  • missh1967
    missh1967 Posts: 661 Member
    Alyssa_Is_LosingIt wrote: »
    What helped me was realizing that the time is going to pass anyway. I'd rather be even just a little closer to my goal 3 months from now, than to wish I had started today 3 months from now.

    This is gold!
  • Coonsmom
    Coonsmom Posts: 47 Member
    Ladies I just want to say that I count myself lucky having found this site that has such incredible inspirational folks as you. You've all given heartfelt and wonderful advise! Thank you!
  • berry987
    berry987 Posts: 11 Member
    edited February 2015
    Thank you so much for the supportive responses! I need to put one foot in front of the other and your advice was all very helpful. I'm going to set small goals (log every day this week) and then turn them into bigger goals. Day one down and I feel great. Only moving forward from here on out.

    I think it's most helpful to hear I'm not alone. I'm not crazy or lazy or bad because I've gained 60 pounds and can't seem to lose it with sheer will alone. It's a process, step by step, no judgement.

    I do need friends in the same "predicament." My friends IRL are all naturally slim or maybe 20 pounds overweight post baby. I just feel alone with this. So please send me a friend request if you think we match up!
  • 2snakeswoman
    2snakeswoman Posts: 655 Member
    I understand. I've been starting and stopping weight loss diets for years, gaining a little bit more weight every year, making excuses, trying to learn to love myself even if I am fat. What really hits me hard right now is that my blood pressure is borderline. I'm so close to being hypertensive. I don't want high blood pressure! I don't want to carry around this extra 50-70 pounds; I'm getting old; my feet hurt.
  • berry987
    berry987 Posts: 11 Member
    Yes. For years I've struggled with my weight, back and forth. But now, at 40, it's proving downright dangerous. I get winded easily. I'm sick a lot. I never used to get sick! I pull muscles shoveling snow. I hold on to to railing as I walk up the stairs. It's all a wake up call.

  • beenakhan2015
    beenakhan2015 Posts: 9
    I got the same wake up call a couple months ago. I couldn't do it on my own do I ended up getting a personal trainer. He keeps me accountable and helps me work out. It's expensive but I'd rather pay him than with my life.
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