It's so hard to get back to where I used to be!

This is just a vent, me trying to figure out my next move.... I could really use some type of motivation. I'm getting married in June and that isn't enough. Even the fact that my cholesterol is a little high isn't enough to make me turn off that switch that wants to eat fatty foods. I just can't seem to get back to where I was before when I first started MFP. I need to get back to that place. Maybe not to the extreme of being offended if offered french fries, but to the point where I can politely decline, to the point where I don't constantly crave pizza and I look forward to my workouts. 2 years ago, I wanted to be a personal trainer. I was on a 1200-1600 cal diet and I never ate carbs after lunch. I did Zumba 2x/wk, Curves 3x/wk and workout DVDs at home. In the Summer, I went to water aerobics 3x/wk. I just can't get back into my routine since moving to another city in June of 2013. I live outside of the city and can't find the same small classes or a gym in my area that fits in my new schedule. I have to do SOMETHING. SOMETHING has to change. I started at 262, got down to 190 and now I'm back up to 210 and look like I'm 250 because there's no muscle. It's hard because I work longer hours now and I live with my fiance so I cook or pick up food for my family every night. It was so much easier when it was just my son and I. When I worked 7am-3pm and lived in a small town and the gym was on the way home and not at all crowded. I had my adopted sister as my workout/Zumba partner, now she's 2 hours away. Now, I work until 4:30 in a college town/city. It takes 30 minutes to get to the gym and another 30 to get home from the gym due to traffic. That puts me at 6:00 or later before I get home and then I still have to have dinner and spend time with my family before my son goes to bed at 8. I love to workout in the morning with DVDs, but my son and fiance and still sleeping and I can't get to the gym and back before my fiance leaves for work. I leave for work as soon as my son is on the bus for school. Over the years, I have changed a lot of my eating habits so I feel that if I can just get back into that workout routine, I will be okay. I just can't make myself do it. Since they are talking of cutting hours at work, I'm thinking about asking my sup if I can leave at 3pm, or come in at 9am on Tuesday and Thursday. That would give me a chance to get to the gym 3x/wk when I add Saturday morning. Then I can do cardio at home on the other days. Then, I have to factor in the loss of pay. There's a Zumba class at a school near my home in March, I can't wait for that! Maybe that's the thing that will get me back to where I need to be. Thanks for reading. Feel free to add me if your diary is open. I will open mine again soon.