Unmotivated gym partner!
livv365
Posts: 59 Member
So here it is, my best friend and I started the gym 2 months ago and I've never missed a session always trying my hardest and making sure that I eat clean. However she is missing gym sessions, eating at McDonald's all the time and making silly excuses not to come, but when she does demands we leave the gym earlier than I want to. I have no clue how to handle this because she is obviously my best friend and I'm at the end of my tether with it! I know this isn't like agony aunt but I need some advice, never been in this situation x
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Do you. Go to the gym on your own. If she really wants it she will step up to the plate.0
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Don't carpool with her to the gym and if she says she is ready to go, then tell her you are not quite finished and you will catch up with her later. Please don't allow her to use her lack of motivation to derail your hard work and efforts. Sometimes people have to reach that point that they are ready to lose the weight and it doesn't seem as if she is there yet. Maybe once she sees your results she will become motivated. Good luck!0
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Yes I go on my own most days, but when I do she gets angry because I went without her even though she didn't want to go x[/quote]
^^ That's because our friends wish us well, but don't want us to do better than them. It's human nature. Please keep going to the gym regardless. You seem to have your head and your heart in the right place for success. Best of luck to you!0 -
Perhaps just don't talk about going to the gym without her. You have to focus on yourself. Be blunt and just tell her that you are making yourself the best you can be; she can join you or not but that's her responsibility.0
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Bellodesiderare wrote: »Yes I go on my own most days, but when I do she gets angry because I went without her even though she didn't want to go x
^^ That's because our friends wish us well, but don't want us to do better than them. It's human nature. Please keep going to the gym regardless. You seem to have your head and your heart in the right place for success. Best of luck to you![/quote]
Thank you! I've lost nearly a stone and she says when people say you look great 'I don't think she's lost anything,if anything she's put it on' fed up of it! I sound so nasty but it gets to a point when I can't be bothered with it anymore x0 -
That's unfortunate that you're self motivated an she's making excuses to make you feel bad as well as holding you back. If she's really your best friend, she wouldn't be angry with you, but rather herself for not being as dedicated as you. Stay on track whether she goes with you and whether she likes it or not!!0 -
Perhaps just don't talk about going to the gym without her. You have to focus on yourself. Be blunt and just tell her that you are making yourself the best you can be; she can join you or not but that's her responsibility.
Thank you! It just worries me, she is classed as morbidity obsese and the doctor said she needed to lose a lot of weight, so I thought going together would allow her to have a wee bit motivation but she doesn't care x0 -
With that gorgeous face of yours I would love to go to the gym with you
Just keep going on your own explain its something you need to do if she is a true friend she will understand im sure.0 -
If you tell her you were going to go at X time and she says "Oh I had to do Y" if you offer to go another time or meet her there and stay with her and she still declines then it's not your problem. I would say "Oh okay maybe tomorrow we can both go but I am still going today." and leave it at that.
If she wants to get mad it's her problem. I agree also if she's "done" and wants to go early and you still have work to finish. Finish and don't cut yourself short.0 -
This is why I work out alone. I hate when my routine is screwed up because of someone else, so I don't allow it to be. If she gets mad for leaving her out, she'll get over it. Make yourself the priority, not her.0
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You dont need to eat clean, if she eats at Mcdonalds within her macros/micros, also fine.0
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I've so been there before! My partner would actually get MAD at me if I ran on the treadmill because she didn't want to be the only one walking. She got mad at me when I would go early in the mornings due to the fact that when we had late evening gym sessions scheduled, she would always find an excuse not to want to go. She threw hissy fits when I started joining in on the workout classes like spin and boot camp. You can only be responsible for yourself and if she doesn't have the willpower and is not as motivated as you to do the best she can, that's on her! She will be the one regretting her decisions, not you. Keep it up.... you'll be glad you did! I was
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Perhaps just don't talk about going to the gym without her. You have to focus on yourself. Be blunt and just tell her that you are making yourself the best you can be; she can join you or not but that's her responsibility.
Thank you! It just worries me, she is classed as morbidity obsese and the doctor said she needed to lose a lot of weight, so I thought going together would allow her to have a wee bit motivation but she doesn't care x
Unfortunately motivation has to come from within, and you can't drag her where she doesn't want to be. Offer for her to go with, but don't get derailed by her lack of motivation. Be an example, not an excuse.0 -
Don't carpool with her to the gym and if she says she is ready to go, then tell her you are not quite finished and you will catch up with her later. Please don't allow her to use her lack of motivation to derail your hard work and efforts. Sometimes people have to reach that point that they are ready to lose the weight and it doesn't seem as if she is there yet. Maybe once she sees your results she will become motivated. Good luck!
This right here ^^^0 -
I too have had no luck finding a motivated gym partner...0
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I had a friend like this, it was miserable. She tried to make me feel like my accomplishments weren't important and that she was trying so hard and I wasn't, even though I went to the gym every day and she didn't. It was awful, partly ruined the friendship (its over but for a number of reasons) You need to do what's best for yourself. I'd recommend not discussing the gym with her anymore. If she wants to go, she'll ask you to go with her, ask if you can take separate cars so you can finish your workout on your own, if that won't work for you then find some of the body weight work outs on pinterest for you to do when you get home. Just you do you, take care of yourself and don't worry about her. In the long run, this is your life and you need to do what's best for yourself. If she is truly a friend and not one of the people of 'misery enjoys company' then she'll be happy for you when you reach your goals.0
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jenjay8045 wrote: »I too have had no luck finding a motivated gym partner...
I found this to be true. May be you will find workout partners at your gym. That's what I did. Lead by example 0 -
Thank you! I've lost nearly a stone and she says when people say you look great 'I don't think she's lost anything,if anything she's put it on' fed up of it! I sound so nasty but it gets to a point when I can't be bothered with it anymore x
I have highlighted your comment. Looks like you want Gym time to be your time. In that case you should let her know if she wants to spend time with you that would be outside this time.0 -
JenNicole11 wrote: »I've so been there before! My partner would actually get MAD at me if I ran on the treadmill because she didn't want to be the only one walking. She got mad at me when I would go early in the mornings due to the fact that when we had late evening gym sessions scheduled, she would always find an excuse not to want to go. She threw hissy fits when I started joining in on the workout classes like spin and boot camp. You can only be responsible for yourself and if she doesn't have the willpower and is not as motivated as you to do the best she can, that's on her! She will be the one regretting her decisions, not you. Keep it up.... you'll be glad you did! I was
Sounds so like mine when she actually comes! Lol, I am going tonight myself because she said she has a dog at her house tonight but her aunt is there to look after it, I have three horses, a rottweiler and my little sister most days after work and I still manage to make it there x0 -
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Oh poor you, that sounds really unhelpful and she's being immature. You keep doing you, stop telling her when you're going to the gym & be honest with her if she brings it up. So so rude of her to say you look like you're putting on, the scales are OBVIOUSLY not agreeing with her comments so push it to the side and keep at it!0
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If you found me a job and figured out all the paperwork, I'd move to Scotland in a heartbeat!0 -
Your post makes me feel lucky. My best friend lost a ton of weight while I was pregnant and just packing it on after baby. Both of us have always been some what overweight. She looked awesome. It motivated me completely to get to the gym. She is kind enough to come pick my *kitten* up every night to make me go.
Your friend is jealous of you. You can't control her behavior. You can only control your own.
Maybe try responding to her differently than you normally would to see how she reacts. If you ask her to go to the gym and she says no and you normally let it ride, maybe ask her if there is a different time/exercise/class, etc. Or call her out. Or tell her you no longer want to be gym buddies because it isn't productive for either of you.0 -
Unless your best friend is a conjoined twin, I'm not sure what the problem is here. So she complains. Not sure how her complaining changes what you need to do. Best friends don't need to do absolutely everything together.0
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Im on the next train from Newcastle see you soon
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enterdanger wrote: »Your post makes me feel lucky. My best friend lost a ton of weight while I was pregnant and just packing it on after baby. Both of us have always been some what overweight. She looked awesome. It motivated me completely to get to the gym. She is kind enough to come pick my *kitten* up every night to make me go.
Your friend is jealous of you. You can't control her behavior. You can only control your own.
Maybe try responding to her differently than you normally would to see how she reacts. If you ask her to go to the gym and she says no and you normally let it ride, maybe ask her if there is a different time/exercise/class, etc. Or call her out. Or tell her you no longer want to be gym buddies because it isn't productive for either of you.
Oh yes. That must be it. Good old jealousy. It couldn't be because her friend is just lazy.0 -
If you found me a job and figured out all the paperwork, I'd move to Scotland in a heartbeat!
The jobs in scotland are like impossible haha! It's ridiculous how bad it is the now xx0
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