need support, please help!

Welcome

It might help you to not knot all of your goals together. They are related, but they are not one big ball. When we bundle them, it can get overwhelming, and we tend to feel like we're failing if we're not nailing every single little thing we envision in our perfect lifestyle. Separating them means you can work on them separately, progress on them at different rates, prioritize them, shelve some for a bit, see success where it's happening and places you could improve where they exist.

1. Stop diabetes. <-- I don't know much about this, but I'd put that as one, separate, most important thing. But it's a really big goal, that relates to smaller ones.

2. Lose weight. <-- This goal might be related to others, but it is still helpful to separate it. Create your caloric deficit by following MFP. WHAT you eat or don't eat to do this is part of other goals.

3. Vegetarian diet. <-- Hopefully you know this isn't necessary to lose weight or to manage diabetes. I'm assuming you have other reasons for wanting this. (And whatever you want is fine, just want to make sure you aren't adopting something that isn't right for you based on misinformation that it IS necessary. It will set you up to fail if it isn't truly right for you, and you keep trying to force it.)

4. What you eat: Nutrition, for general health and wellbeing, balanced with enjoyment & sustainability (things you can buy & prep ongoing). <-- What you eat and when affects mood, satiety, etc. Working on WHAT you eat is its own area to focus on. (Keep it within your caloric goals, per #2.)

5. Fitness. <-- Optional, but also affects general health and wellbeing, and can change how we relate to our bodies, bring our moods up, improve how we feel when we go about our daily lives, and give more calories to eat.

So you might be able to identify lots of things you could change, to work towards these goals. And when you get overwhelmed, you can dial some back temporarily, and focus on the most important steps. Or you can just start slow, with the most important stuff, and plan to add on more changes as you go, like a snowball effect. Reduce your efforts until they are manageable for you right now, praise yourself often, and gradually add on, is what works for me.

Finally, eventually, you'll need to commit to not stopping. It's not a wagon you're on or not. Some days you may eat more, or be more off your nutrition goals. Holidays and parties happen. Life will always be imperfect and bring variance and challenges. You will definitely not always have motivation, you won't always have thoughts and feelings that support your goals. But you can commit to your steps anyway, just like we take the garbage out when we don't want to or go to work when we don't want to or refrain from yelling at strangers when we want to. (It IS tough though, managing your thoughts and feelings. It will take actual awareness and effort. You will need to look for strategies that help you in this regard, and learn to practice being tolerant, patient, and kind to yourself.)

Also: Read the stickies on the forums here! Especially the one about logging accurately.

Diabetes and vegetarianism can be a tough combination. Most diabetics need to limit carbohydrates and a vegetarian diet is normally high in carbohydrates if one doesn't specifically focus on getting lots of protein and fats. I'd highly suggest you do some solid research on how best to go about eating the proper diet. There may even be a group or two in these message boards for people with your specific needs. Do a search.

Wishing you success!