no self-control anymore

pixie_please
pixie_please Posts: 20 Member
edited November 13 in Health and Weight Loss
Okay, this is going to be a bit of a long story. In June 2014 of last year, after the breakdown of a sort-of relationship with a guy, I started overeating massively. It gradually became more and more frequent and larger in calories consumed until I was maintaining on some days and engaging in extreme overeating on other days. Now, in February 2015, I'm still overeating 80% of the time. I'm totalling anywhere between 3000 and 5000 calories a day. I just don't want to stop eating. My weight has ballooned from a normal ish 9st 8lbs (my start weight - I can't believe I thought I was huge) and I'm now 11st 2lbs (probably more) and officially overweight. It just seems like such a long and hard journey back to my old weight. It's just exhausting. I repeatedly try to diet but I can't even diet for a day now when I used to be able to. I've been counting calories for 3 years and nothing has changed. Rationally, I know I don't want to keep gaining weight but I just don't have the motivation to do dieting anymore. I'm sick of everything. Intuitive eating seems cool but I'm scared to start intuitive eating because I'm worried that I'm just going to continue overeating anyway or that it'll be impossible due to a lack of hunger signals after 9 months of overeating. I'm not even sure if I can go to therapy for something like this. I want to lose weight but I just can't diet anymore. Any ideas/help? Am I just seriously lacking self-control? How do I get it back? Is intuitive eating a good idea?

Side note: It's not binge eating disorder. People with that get intense urges to eat everything in sight whereas I don't get urges, it just sort of happens? It's hard to describe. I have a calorie goal and then I decide that I'll eat a bit more because maintaining my weight is okay and then I just keep eating and eating because it tastes good. It's horrifying actually
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  • trossRN06
    trossRN06 Posts: 2 Member
    Pixie_please.....I have been kind of in the same situation, I worked my butt off for 2 yrs, lost 35lbs then last yr I was in a car accident and I have gained 22lbs back over the last yr!!! Just lost my mojo! I have to have a partial joint replacement in my right shoulder in one month so I know I won't be able to cook healthy or exercise for a while which means I will most likely gain more weight. So yesterday I decided to just set a small goal of losing 10lbs by March 30....which actually seems like a lot to me lol. Anyway, I exercised yesterday and today and have logged everything I have eaten and knowing I'm just trying to lose 10lbs for now seemed to make it easier for me to stay focused.
  • pixie_please
    pixie_please Posts: 20 Member
    I also should add - around the same time, I started a new year in school. It's been hard work and stressful and my final exams are in May. I'm thinking that all my willpower throughout the year has been drained by school and worrying, leaving nothing left to control my eating? Just a thought. Still no clue how to tackle that if that's what it is :/
  • pixie_please
    pixie_please Posts: 20 Member
    MeganMoroz89 wrote: »
    OP - first, I love your Sailor Moon profile pic.

    Second, if you feel like going to therapy would be helpful for you, then do it. Therapy is always a great solution for most peoples' problems. In this case, I think it might be helpful for yours as well. It's clear that your overeating began because you were upset that your relationship ended, which is normal. Food was and has been your substitute for that emotional connection that you lost. Besides eating healthier, I think what you really need to work on is really dealing with your feelings from that breakup because that's what started it all. Assess how it made you feel, figure out what you can learn from that breakup, and completely move on from it. Make yourself realize your own self worth, that you're strong, that food doesn't need to have this hold over you, and that you can achieve the goals that you set for yourself.

    For me it can sometimes me a lot of self-motivating and staying positive. Like when I exercise, I give myself a mental pat on the back, because great job me :) It can also be helpful to set goals that are completely attainable. When you do everything in small increments, rather than just saying "I want to lose ____ lbs in three months," it can make it a lot easier. A lot of people do better when they can have more instant (although depending on what your goal is - whether it's "I'm going to hit my calorie goal today," or if it's, "I'm going to lose 1 pound this week," it might not be instant, but it'll be faster) results, which you can get if you set smaller goals for yourself.

    Thank you! :)

    I think that an amazing idea. I didn't even think of doing that.

    I certainly will try to employ some positive thinking and maybe positive affirmations. I've tried setting smaller goals but I someone just go over my calorie goal anyway :/ I'm just gaining and gaining and ugh
  • pixie_please
    pixie_please Posts: 20 Member
    *but I just go over my calorie goal
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