I'm so scared right now.

I'm the heaviest I've ever been right now, and honestly feel disgusted with myself. Every time I get on a program I lose motivation and I feel as though I'm just doomed to be this heavy for the rest of my life. What if this doesn't work? What if I slip and fall again? I tried Weight Watchers a while back, but it seemed as though no matter how hard I worked or tried I couldn't lose enough weight, everyone was so ahead of me. I have to lose over 100 pounds in order to be healthy, what can I do to stay motivated, and on track? What can I do to not be afraid of the scale anymore?

Replies

  • debubbie
    debubbie Posts: 767 Member
    Don't use the scale as your main indicator of losing weight because it is of the devil! Use inches lost, before and after pictures every month, inches lost, fit of clothes, and reaching new fitness goals because they are better indicators of your success. For me, they are a way bigger motivator than the scale!

    Try to make small sustainable changes for the first month or so before making big changes. Maybe set your calorie goal to about 1800-2000 and make sure to log everything accurately by using a food scale to weigh your foods. Your weight loss will be very slow, but it will help you to get used to logging and being more aware of the food choices that you are making. After you feel that you are accurately logging food and understanding some of the thinking behind the food choices (I eat when stressed or bored) that you make you may want to re-evaluate your calorie goals.

    You may want to work on being more active, like getting more steps everyday by walking more often instead of sitting. Once you feel comfortable with this you may want to add other low impact exercises to your routine. By starting slower you may not feel as pressured that you are not making rapid progress.

    Also, don't compare yourself to others as your weight loss journey is completely different from everyone else. You can add me if you would like.
  • Small steps will get you where you want to be. Start with a fitness program. You will find the more you do the easier it gets. By cooking/preparing all your foods at home you can control what you put in your body...try to stick to all natural foods. Lots of smaller meals throughout the day and plenty of water. Have faith and patience...you can do it!
  • Procyonlupus~ you are young with a full life ahead. I have been you your very shoes for most of my life. This time I am determined to change it around. I'm starting by setting little goals for the day or week. Parking further in the parking lot. Drinking lots of water, no more sugar. Portion control. Walking mid day at work. Debubbie ~great words of wisdom. Feel free to friend me. I have a long journey ahead too and want to give/receive support!! :)
  • healthygreek
    healthygreek Posts: 2,137 Member
    You have to commit to a new lifestyle forever and the motivation won't always be there and don't be scared of slipping and falling because it's inevitable-but the most successful losers and maintainers learn to pick themselves up, dust themselves off and start all over again (to quote an old song)!
    Just create new habits gradually and they will become as familiar to you as brushing your teeth or taking a shower. You don't need motivation for those everyday activities-you just do them when you must!
    Keep a sensible deficit-not drastic at all and slowly try to move more in any way that's enjoyable to you.
    Eat what you enjoy also. Don't cut everything you love out of your life-that's a sure fire way to binge on those things or regain the weight when you're "done" with the "diet".

  • epido
    epido Posts: 353 Member
    One change at a time! Stop thinking of it as starting another program. That has connotations of it eventually coming to an end and then being left to figure out what's next. It's a lifestyle change - something that doesn't have an end, but is permanent. Whether it's evaluating and changing your eating habits, or becoming more active, it shouldn't be something that is over in x weeks or months.

    Also, quit looking at everyone else and thinking, "I'm never going to get to that point!" You have no idea where they are in their journey, where they started, or where they want to get too. I too had over 100 pounds to lose when I first started out, and I know for a fact that if I looked at it that way, I never would have gotten to where I am now. I'm still not to the point where I want to be, and my motivation and determination have waxed and waned over the last 16 months, but I'm still here, plugging along. It may take me longer than I had anticipated to reach my end goal, but that's ok. I will get there!

    It's not easy. Not everyone is going to be supportive, and even those who are may not be that way all the time. Your motivation will seem as if it is all but gone at times, but that's when perseverance comes into play. On the days you aren't motivated to count calories, weigh food, or exercise, you will find a way to just do it because it is what you need to do to lose the weight.

    ...And as long as you keep telling yourself you can do this, and make up your mind to not let anything get in your way, you will get to where you want to be as well.
  • procyonlupus
    procyonlupus Posts: 34 Member
    Thank you so much everyone. I'm really determined to do this, even if its in one small step at a time.
  • Another thing to try to do is bin the guilt if you do eat something that isn't the healthiest choice. Guilt will just make you through up your hands and say "well I stuffed it might as well eat that pizza and icecream". Just day to yourself "it's OK its only one meal next one will b great". Also remember it took a long time to gain the weight give yourself time to lose it. X
  • TheRoseRoss
    TheRoseRoss Posts: 112 Member
    I'm male. There are a whole bunch of cliches that can be thrown your way: "It's not a sprint, it's a marathon," etc, but I won't waste your time with those. Nothing truly motivated me until I saw a friend after 4 years. I was unattractively skinny ("skinny fat"), but he was skinnier than me. Fours years later, he was massive/buff. There and then I said "If he can [put on muscle], you can," and I've been working at it ever since. I found a youtube channel that I liked, and followed its advice. I would mix things up by watching different channels every now and then, but I made a point of not trying to "serve too many masters."

    There are many things that I feel are vital, but IF I had to pick one "major pitfall," I think it's that people often underestimate the amount of time that it will take to see respectable results. This hinges on doing everything else properly, of course. All the time in the world won't get results if you're not doing things correctly. But, I'm "the fit guy" at work, and am sometimes asked for advice, or "what's the secret?" My answer is "I've been doing this every single day for 2 years and counting." Also, (realistic) short term goals, and (perhaps idealistic) longterm goals.

    Shortterm: I don't want to be embarrassed to go to the water park with my daughter this summer.

    Longterm: My daughter's 7 year old. I want to be a role model to her of hard work, commitment, healthy eating, and an active lifestyle.

    Maybe think of why it is that you want to lose the weight, and every time you think of quitting, try to go back to that. I don't want my daughter to grow up being teased because I didn't teach her to eat properly. I don't want her to suffer self esteem issues due to being picked last for sports, or not at all, because she's not active. I want her to be self confident so that when the bullying does start (because kids will always find a reason), she has a foundation/outlet.
  • psmd
    psmd Posts: 764 Member
    Don't paralyze yourself because of a fear of failure! What's the worst that can happen if you try? You can do it!
  • Mishy
    Mishy Posts: 1,551 Member
    Start now. What if it does work?
  • Ness725
    Ness725 Posts: 13 Member
    Just remember progress comes before success! Set realistic, achievable, measurable goals, such as workout 3 days per week or eat an average of more than 1800 calories per day each week. When those get easy, take it up a notch. Track your progress and celebrate your small achievements weekly. Its the sum of those little changes that will get you there. If you fall off the wagon, just get back on. You can do it!
  • maybe smaller incremental goals such as 1 lb per week = 52 lbs/year or even 1/2 lb per week would be 26 lbs in 1 year. Slow but steady and healthy...
  • LuckyMe2017
    LuckyMe2017 Posts: 454 Member
    Rather than doing a program, you might benefit from meshing together your own program. This time around I did a ton of research and some trial and error until I found a diet and exercise that fits me. Prior, while doing various program, my highest loss was 17 pounds. With my own plan, I have lost 18 pounds since dec 31.
    You will find what works for you if you hang in there. Best!
  • 2snakeswoman
    2snakeswoman Posts: 655 Member
    For me, it was reaching a point of being willing to change, and what did it was getting high blood pressure readings. It was such a shock for me! I am no longer going to defend my former assertion of being a person who hates to log food and plan meals. I am becoming a whole new person. I don't know what I hate yet.

    I've seen so much of that - people coming on here defending their fat person, saying "I don't like vegetables or fruit or anything healthy ... blah blah blah." If you don't like the fat person your old habits have made you, become a new person.
  • happygalah
    happygalah Posts: 343 Member
    You can make a commitment to yourself for the rest of the year. The weight didn't come on quickly so it will take a while to get it to come off. The other posts are spot on about taking it slowly. Join a group on here and add some friends and login every day. You'll see results if you stick with it.
  • procyonlupus
    procyonlupus Posts: 34 Member
    Wow, I've never seen so much support in one place! I think you're all right, if I start slow and make little changes rather than looking at it as one giant thing I'll be able to do it. I'm definitely going to join a few groups here and get more involved in the community.
  • Just_say_jess
    Just_say_jess Posts: 19 Member
    There is a thread on here called, "just for today". We list goals just for today. People set everything from drink more water, and log everything, and walk 30 min. Set goals just for today. It really will build from there and check out the thread!
  • debbysatit
    debbysatit Posts: 125 Member
    Everyone has great responses. I don't have much to add but if you need a friend for support and motivation feel free to add me! I am finding having supportive friends is motivation itself.
  • Emdjoker64
    Emdjoker64 Posts: 18 Member
    This is how I feel about myself, disgusted. But I keep trying to tell myself nothing in life is free, if you want it you gotta work for it. I started with cutting the amount I eat in half cut out all soda and occasionally I have just a smoothie for dinner. I have also been working out as much as I can. Just keep trying make small changes first and then each week add a new challenge for your self