Combatting Low Self-Esteem

ellelit
ellelit Posts: 806 Member
edited September 19 in Health and Weight Loss
I'm having a hard time lately with low self-esteem and negative self talk. i look in the mirror and hate my body, i look at pictures and can't believe how fat i've gotten, etc.

i'm just wondering what you all do to help combat low self-esteem? any tips would be fantastic. thanks!

Replies

  • ellelit
    ellelit Posts: 806 Member
    I'm having a hard time lately with low self-esteem and negative self talk. i look in the mirror and hate my body, i look at pictures and can't believe how fat i've gotten, etc.

    i'm just wondering what you all do to help combat low self-esteem? any tips would be fantastic. thanks!
  • cerfin
    cerfin Posts: 41
    Really try to focus on the things you like about yourself. From time to time we all feel badly, just don't stay there too long. :flowerforyou:
  • BrenNew
    BrenNew Posts: 3,420 Member
    I think that just about everyone here has had the same problem with low self esteem. I know in my own case, I used to go to bed hating myself every night. I'd kick myself for having another bad day, and I'd swear that the next day would be different, only, it wouldn't be. I hated the way I looked, and wanted so desperately to lose the weight, but, it just never happened, til I came to MFP!
    It's been a slow and steady process, but, this week I FINALLY reached my goal! And let me tell you, it's one heck of a great feeling! My life is soooo much better now! I feel so happy and confident all the time, where before, I was totally miserable!
    Give it your best shot, and I'm sure you'll be a big "loser" in no time!!!
    Between the easy to use food counter (which by the way is SUCH an eye opener!) and all the wonderfully supportive members, you WILL be able to lose the weight that you want to, AND, it'll "almost" be easy doing it!
    I recommend logging ALL your foods BEFORE you have them, rather than later, as it tends to lead to better food choices. (not to mention you'll know if you've got enough numbers left to have a night time snack, like I ALWAYS try to do!) Some people also like to weigh and measure some things, such as meats, rather than just estimating and possibly being WAY off!
    Also, drink lots of water, that seems to help alot too. :drinker:
  • Jennnnnnnny
    Jennnnnnnny Posts: 373 Member
    i have always had low self esteem so dont think your alone. I honestly sometimes look in the mirror and can't believe what i've become. But you need to think positive about the stuff you do like about yourself. Maybe you don't like who you see in the mirror and how you look but that's why your here right? Your here to get your life back and to change your life style and become healthier as we all are. But you need to remember, something i was always told. You need to love yourself, and others will love you. you need to respect your body, and just relax about weight becasue stress will hold onto it. and just be happy with who you are, eat right and soon you'll get back to your old self.

    if you ever need to talk im here:) i know exactly how you feel.
  • awinmac
    awinmac Posts: 30
    Hi,
    I know how hard it can be to overcome low self esteem. I have lived with it my whole life since I was a little kid. Nothing I did ever seemed to be good enough. I talked to a psychiatrist weekly for 2 years which helped a lot. I think also it helps a lot to notice all of the beauty in life and in the world around you even if it's just the tiny things like the way the light is falling on something or how amazing the colours of the vegetables you are eating are. Living in the moment, not in your head so much.
    We all have a spark that makes us unique and amazing in all the world. Even if you can't feel it or recognize it all the time, it is always there no matter what, like a fairy god-mother or a guardian angel.
    Know that nothing is ever static and that all things change or pass, our moods, our bad thoughts, our bad days(weeks, years). Self help books can be very insipiring. Flow is a good one.

    Good luck and happy holidays!

    -Amber
  • amunet07
    amunet07 Posts: 1,245 Member
    If you are having trouble thinking about the good aspects of you (like I do about me)... I'll start the ball rolling!

    You love yourself to know what you want and to do something about it! You are here at MFP aren't you! :flowerforyou: :bigsmile:
  • GettingThin08
    GettingThin08 Posts: 370
    im in the same boat as u!!!
  • MumOfADuo
    MumOfADuo Posts: 294 Member
    You certainly are not alone....I can look at myself in the mirror and feel 'ok' (certainly not great, but not so bad) then I see myself in a picture and just about barf!!!! Reality quickly sets in and then the negative self talk begins....
    BUT I am learning, you are what you think....seriously....if you think you are a stupid big fat loser, than you will eventually become that...so try to stop those negative thoughts as soon as they come into your head...(easier said than done, I know!!!) Ask yourself if that thought (or thoughts) is going to help you or hurt you.....eventually you will be able to have more positive thoughts than negative....I work on it OFTEN!!!!!!! I am feeling like a huge failure (always) but know that I am a good person, one who just has trouble losing weight (not trouble losing weight, but trouble finding out WHY I gain back what I lose, trouble figuring out what I am afraid ofÜÜ)
    Am here if you need to talk....
    OH, another thing...every time you do something for YOU (saying no to something, walking for 15 minutes, etc) you empower yourself just a little bit more and you will start feeling more in control...baby steps....
    Blessings!
    Kathey
  • Hannah_Banana
    Hannah_Banana Posts: 1,242 Member
    Okay, this is going to be mean. *Prepares herself for rotten tomatoes*

    Look for people you think are uglier than you. Then you can say 'Hey, I'm not the ugliest person on the planet.' Which then leads to 'I at least like THIS about myself' etc.

    Ahem... it is what I do. No, it isn't very nice. No, I never actually TELL anyone they are helping my self esteem by being ugly. Yes, I do feel guilty. (But pretty!!) :bigsmile: :smooched:
  • RNLeslie
    RNLeslie Posts: 150
    I'm right there with you. And when people tell me to focus on something about myself that I like, I just sit there trying to think of one thing, anything that I like. And you can bet than none of it has to do with my physical appearance. All I can say is that I'm hoping the self-esteem comes with some success here.... so far, I still don't have any. :ohwell:
  • briblue72
    briblue72 Posts: 672 Member
    Here's what I did...

    Took the pizza out of my mouth and put on my running shoes. I hated my body and was embarrassed that I did it to myself. With every disgusting trip to the mirror, I vowed to make it different.

    Am I sleek and smooth all over? no. Am I stunning? no.

    But I feel better, I look better, and I proved to everyone (including myself) that I'm better than that. :wink:
  • dewpearl
    dewpearl Posts: 561 Member
    1. Don't worry about what the neighbor next door thinks. She's too preoccupied with her looks to look at you the way you do, trust me. Even if she seems so "perfect". She knows her ugly parts too and probably hates them just as much.

    2. Never stop believing you can do it! I love what briblue just said. You're mad? You feel the chips and dips are coming to you on their own? Give them a superior smile and take your rage out in the fresh air. And while you walk or bike or whatever, look at the marvelous sky, the sunset, the snow, the trees - they are there for you! :flowerforyou:

    3. When you don't find enough strength in yourself, remember that Someone out there loves you truly for what you are. As you are. Because He knows what you truly are.

    4. I sometimes try to help others when I'm myself in need. Cos I read somewhere that "while giving, you receive".

    And you know what? You have a lovely smile and beautiful eyes. Keep smiling at people and they'll smile back, you'll see. A smile speaks not only about outer beauty, but outputs some of the inner one, don't you think? So reveal your inner beauty and don't hide it in frustrations. There's too much to give and to share, for us to hide in our rooms and cry. Come on, let's built a positive attitude together! :flowerforyou:
  • 1Corinthians13
    1Corinthians13 Posts: 5,296 Member
    I know in my I recommend logging ALL your foods BEFORE you have them, rather than later, as it tends to lead to better food choices.

    I have to do this also. For me, if I log my foods for the day before the day really gets started or the night before, then I usually don't eat what's not on the log. It's about control for me, if that makes sense.
  • ellelit
    ellelit Posts: 806 Member
    thanks for all the tips everyone. yesterday was a bad day emotionally. i look at myself in the mirror, and i don't even recognize my face. i'm all bloated and fat in the face, and i dont know, it hits me more than having a gigantic butt. you can't hide your face, and it made me so sad.

    the eating yesterday was ok, and i'm going to keep on going, but it's just so defeating when you hate most things about you. i thought the eating was my main problem, but geez. this part is kicking me in the gut.
  • yellow_pepper
    yellow_pepper Posts: 708 Member
    There is nothing wrong with coming to terms with things we don't like about ourselves. High self-esteem is not a matter of denial but empowerment to improve your life and how you feel. But before you can do that, you need to ask yourself:

    How do you want to feel?
    What kind of "scripts" do you want your mind to follow, when you think about yourself?

    And be prepared to act the part you've written for yourself!

    Another possibility: think about someone else! There's certainly someone in the world who has it worse than you do. If you find it hard to improve your own life, focus on improving someone else's. It will probably make you feel good and end up improving your own.

    http://savethechildren.org/

    I hope that you find a way to make 2009 your best year yet.
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