People keep telling me either to stop losing weight or that I'm too skinny!

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Replies

  • dawnmcneil10
    dawnmcneil10 Posts: 638 Member
    There is a point I've noticed in everyone's weight loss where your body and skin hasn't yet caught up and for a while we all have that look of almost sick. That might be what these people are seeing, for me it took about 3-4 months to snap out of it and I actually lost a bit more weight during that time so I'm about 15 pounds lighter than when everyone told me I wasn't looking healthy. I see it in pictures too if I look back but now I get nothing but you look great, fit, healthy and happy so hang in there, it could just be temporary.

    You could also have run into the jealous group, those exist too so if you're still hearing this down the road just brush it off and know you're at a nice healthy weight for your height.
  • megganjeninngs69
    megganjeninngs69 Posts: 51 Member
    Well maybe u should post before nd after pics , i know when i lost weight the first time that it took me gaining it all back to realize how small i had gotten before ( i still looked huge to myself) or it really could be, ther bein ugly and jealous idk!
  • megganjeninngs69
    megganjeninngs69 Posts: 51 Member
    If someone told me now (your getting really skinny !) I be like yes!!! thank u :D
  • lisawinning4losing
    lisawinning4losing Posts: 726 Member
    Haters gonna hate. A lot of people try to drag you down just out of jealousy or because they feel threatened, or because you're making them have think about their own lifestyles, which makes them feel uncomfortable. I've had people make similar remarks to me, and I'm your same height and weigh 160! I'm still *overweight* according to the charts, and quite obviously so, and yet I have received negative feedback from some people, similar to what you describe. (I'm a size 10 on a good day, hardly too skinny!) They're called haters. They're everywhere, and everyone deals with them. Ignore them.
  • Need2Exerc1se
    Need2Exerc1se Posts: 13,575 Member
    You can't control other people, you can only prevent them from controlling you. If your weight is in the healthy range, then I'd just say that and change the subject.
  • lisawinning4losing
    lisawinning4losing Posts: 726 Member
    JourneyingJessica wrote: »
    I get that too. I'm 5'5" and 150lbs. I've been told you don't need to lose weight, go eat a hamburger, you need to stop losing weight etc. at 150, I'm at the high end of healthy bmi range & I'm far from where I'd like to be for my body. I just smile and ignore.

    I think people get so used to seeing you one way they have trouble adjusting to you other ways.

    This! Especially that last sentence. People don't adjust to change very well.

  • MoiAussi93
    MoiAussi93 Posts: 1,948 Member
    edited February 2015
    I would just ignore it. If they are people I am close with, I would just say I have reached my goal and am not just maintaining.

    You are at a healthy range, so just do what you feel looks best. It could just be that people are used to seeing you larger and the change is dramatic and can be startling...they will soon get used to it and stop commenting.

    If is also possible that some people truly feel you would look better a few pounds heavier...at the high end of healthy instead of in the middle of the range. We all have different tastes. But the only opinion that really matters on aesthetics is yours...and your partner's to some extent. So ignore everyone else.

  • TerryKes
    TerryKes Posts: 35 Member
    britishbroccoli wrote: »
    "You've lost too much weight!"

    Neutral Responses:
    "Yeah, I have lost a lot of weight, but I'm done now."
    "Oh? I feel really healthy."
    "My doctor worked with me to determine a healthy weight."
    "Oh? Thank you for being worried about me, but I did this the healthy way."

    Telling People how it is:
    "It makes me uncomfortable when you comment about my weight."
    "My weight isn't your business."
    "Would you like me to tell you my opinion about your weight?"
    "Oh, I'm so glad you have an opinion about my weight."
    "Do you like it when people comment on your weight?"

    What a selection to choose from! Thank you, some of these will work for me!
  • TerryKes
    TerryKes Posts: 35 Member
    dawnmcneil10 wrote: »
    There is a point I've noticed in everyone's weight loss where your body and skin hasn't yet caught up and for a while we all have that look of almost sick. That might be what these people are seeing, for me it took about 3-4 months to snap out of it and I actually lost a bit more weight during that time so I'm about 15 pounds lighter than when everyone told me I wasn't looking healthy. I see it in pictures too if I look back but now I get nothing but you look great, fit, healthy and happy so hang in there, it could just be temporary.

    You could also have run into the jealous group, those exist too so if you're still hearing this down the road just brush it off and know you're at a nice healthy weight for your height.

    You're absolutely right about the initial lost-a-lot-of-weight-quickly look. I'm thinking that is a contributor. Even though I did the 1-2 pounds a week, it's still a lot to lose 45# in 5 months. Being older, my skin may take a while to catch up, and that's fine. ;) Thanks for your response!
  • lisawinning4losing
    lisawinning4losing Posts: 726 Member
    MoiAussi93 wrote: »
    If is also possible that some people truly feel you would look better a few pounds heavier...at the high end of healthy instead of in the middle of the range. We all have different tastes. But the only opinion that really matters on aesthetics is yours...and your partner's to some extent. So ignore everyone else.

    That too. Unfortunately I've received some harsh comments from men who prefer larger women. Well, good for them. But I'm not here to satisfy anyone's fat fetish. I'm not here to be skinny for anyone else, I'm not here to be chubby for anyone else. I'm doing this for me. And I'm in no danger of ever being underweight. I'm having to learn to just let these things slide off my back. Don't worry about other people. You did such a great job, you should be so proud!
  • NextPage
    NextPage Posts: 609 Member
    I am about the same age and height as you (52 and 5'5). I would not try to match rudeness with rudeness but a combo of facts and humour might work. Let them know that the BMI healthy range for your height and gender is 108 to 145 so you picked a number in the middle in order to give yourself some 'wiggle" room so you could do things like go on an all inclusive vacation without quickly slipping into "overweight".

    I have found that one of the joys of being over 50 is that people are very fond of saying "you know at your your age you have to pick between face and your figure". If someone says this to you, well you know what to say... ;)
  • AngieGetsHealthyin2012
    AngieGetsHealthyin2012 Posts: 45 Member
    I got the same reaction from loved ones when I first lost weight. I think it was just a little alarming for them to see me suddenly noticeably smaller than I'd ever been since knowing them. And yeah, there is that "gaunt" look when you first lose weight that takes a little while to go away. I just smiled and assured them I wasn't planning to lose much more, that I was happy with my weight, etc.

    It's been a few years since I dropped that weight, and now I'm losing more. People have had a chance to get used to me being smaller, and now everyone says I'm looking great with my recent weight loss. I'm 10-15 pounds lighter than I was when they said I needed to stop losing. It seems to me like their initial reaction was just due to them not being used to the new size. Their reaction was genuine concern, definitely not jealousy or anything like that, for me at least.
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,151 Member
    Who cares what other people think!
  • motivatedkarma
    motivatedkarma Posts: 67 Member
    I think everyone is right it is usually haters that just try and bring you down because you did something about your weight. I am actually the same height working for the same goal and I think you are an inspiration.
  • JoseCastaneda
    JoseCastaneda Posts: 245 Member
    The only people you should care what they think about your health is: you, your doctor, and to some extent, your significant other.

    Some people giving their opinion will do it because they truly care about you but are not aware of your health status (assuming it's good). Some other people are just nosey.
  • NobodyPutsAmyInTheCorner
    NobodyPutsAmyInTheCorner Posts: 1,018 Member
    edited February 2015
    "Opinions are like buttholes... We all have one"
  • TerryKes
    TerryKes Posts: 35 Member
    You guys! You're so awesome! Thank you for the encouragement, the laugh, and the good advice! :blush:
  • jambo1001
    jambo1001 Posts: 16 Member
    I have lost 85 lbs in about a year, I get this a lot. When it comes from people whose opinion I care about, ( wife, close friends) I try to have a real conversation about bmi, healthy weights, etc. With my wife, I spend a lot of time reminding her that I still weigh 20 lbs more than I did when we married. I am at the heavy end of normal, and it does bother me a little when people i care about say i look bad, or tell me to eat something. I truly think it's because we are a heavy society, we are not used to thin people, and I was overweight for 10-12 years.
    For everyone else, I either say "I feel great" or "I'm about done"
  • maddyk91
    maddyk91 Posts: 193 Member
    "My weight is not a conversation topic."
    "I would rather us not talk about this, please"
    "I appreciate the concern, really, I do. But I do not want to talk about this."
    "Cool!"
    "Thanks for your opinion."
    "My doctor thinks it's great, so..."
    "So the weather is sketch/nice today!"
    "Ok."

    All of these are ones that I have used! :)
  • novespecial
    novespecial Posts: 28 Member
    Congrats on your loss! I am getting that too and I am still 11 pounds away from hitting the upper end of my bmi and there is no doubt I still have some to lose.

    I am not sure if people are used to seeing me heavy or what the deal is. I take it as a compliment and keep moving forward :).
  • thenk83
    thenk83 Posts: 22 Member
    I hear a lot... "You're wasting away!" It kind of hurts. Like I'm terminally ill or something. It's has more negative impact than positive. Like how do you even respond to that? I think, do I look unhealthy? Am I making myself look sick? Oh well.
  • Unknown
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  • nesian_twin
    nesian_twin Posts: 198
    edited March 2015
    If a person says something about how I look that bothers me, I will make no comment and just stare at them until they can no longer keep eye contact. It makes them feel VERY uncomfortable and it works lol
  • Jewels211
    Jewels211 Posts: 184 Member
    Congratulations on hitting your goal! I've noticed that it seems like right after a person loses a good bit of weight, the face shows it most, and people sometimes make those "gaunt" comments. But then after a little while, it's like the body adjusts, almost redistributes?, and the face loses that extra-thin look. I'd just shrug off their comments and enjoy your victory!
  • jenlo1971
    jenlo1971 Posts: 49 Member
    Here are some replies my 13 year year old daughter likes to give to pretty much any question or statement.

    "Whatev"
    "Cool story, bro"
    "Totes"
    "I know right?" Or just "Ikr"
    "Ight"

    These seem to be used interchangeably in any situation. Maybe they will work for you.
    Personally I would probably just not respond and just stare at them (that's a favorite response of my 15 year old son)
  • Boogage
    Boogage Posts: 739 Member
    I used to find mean and concerned comments from those close to me quite hurtful but I tried to brush off their comments knowing that I'd find my happy weight. Once I told them I was eating 1700-1800 calories a day and showed them my little muscles they usually shut up. I did end up a little underweight but I knew I'd gone too far and the problem was easily fixed (lol) and now I'm back to drop a few lbs back down to where I was most comfortable. I've told a few people that I'm trying to lose 10-15lbs this time and they don't seem concerned so I think they must have gotten used to me as a smaller person now.

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