Trying to lose weight with overweight friends.

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russiamarie
russiamarie Posts: 1
in Motivation and Support
Okay so, all of my friends are really overweight. I know for a fact that they don't even want to bother with the word "diet". All they want to do is go to Applebee's for half off apps and/or mcdonalds. I try to tell them that I am trying to lose some weight AND save money, but they always pull "oh you did really good this week so you need a cheat day". My one friend is stubborn and won't take no for an answer. Sorry if this does not make sense. I'm just ranting and kinda asking for some advice. Help ?

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  • barbiecat
    barbiecat Posts: 16,989 Member
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    Just say "no" and look for some different friends. Anyone who won't take no for an answer is not a friend.
  • howmuchisthat
    howmuchisthat Posts: 2 Member
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    I'd say just stay strong and stand your ground. Tell them how difficult "doing good this week" was for you and a cheat day just might push you back to your old, bad habits if they're really good friends they will understand :D
  • cincysweetheart
    cincysweetheart Posts: 892 Member
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    It all comes down to you making a choice. You can make Applebees and McDonalds fit into your eating plan if you want to. Or suggest a different activity or restaurant. And, if they really are your friends, you should be able to be straight up with them. Tell them you need them to accept no for answer on occasion. A "cheat meal" probably won't hurt you… but if that's something you are avoiding for your own personal reasons… be straight with them.
  • LondonSuz
    LondonSuz Posts: 166 Member
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    ^this. Just say no, anyone who doesn't try to support you or understand your goals is not a real friend.
  • sliverqueen
    sliverqueen Posts: 13 Member
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    I lost a lot of friends after I started losing weight. Especially when they started seeing the weight loss. Sure, we're still FB friends, but I don't get the lunch requests I used to. Plus it didn't help that they were trying to sabotage my weight loss. The deal is, they don't want you to lose weight. At least that's how it was in my experience. They want you to stay the way you are so they don't have to look at themselves. So my advice is to keep on track, if you decide you want to look and feel healthier then by all means do it. If they are true friends, they will support you. Otherwise, it's time to look for a new social circle. It hurts trust me, but in the long run you will be better for it.
  • 365andstillalive
    365andstillalive Posts: 663 Member
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    Friends come and go when you make big life decisions, whether that's moving to a new town for university or deciding to shed some lbs. The reality is, you're feeling this tension because a short time ago you were all on the same page with how you wanted to spend your time and money, and now you have different priorities than before.

    That doesn't mean you need to drop your friends or stop seeing them all together, but it does mean that you need to take control of your own life in this regard as well. Everyone wants to go to Applebees for half priced apps? Dig $5 deeper into your wallet and order a main that is going to be satisfying, nutritious, or just fit in your calories for the day. Don't be afraid to take half home with you for the next day even.

    So often, our friends get mad at us when we start losing weight because WE treat it like an all or nothing deal: "I can't go to applebees or mcdonalds anymore. You're making it too hard for me to lose weight." And eventually you lose those friend because YOU stop showing up or they don't want to put up with your constant outloud bargaining about whether you can eat that cheesy fry or not.

    You can do the same social activities without the food. You could go the extra mile and invite your friends over for home-made (aka you know the ingredients/nutrition/cals) appetizers and do an in-house girls night. You could ask them to try something fun and new with you -- like a pole dancing class. You could even deepen the current relationships you've already got; have a friend who likes art? Most cities do some dirt cheap one night painting classes and so on. Come the summer it's even easier; invite people for beach days, plan a hike, etc.

    And best yet, make new friends. Friends who have similar priorities to what you have right now. Join a walking/running group, a class at the gym, go to your community center and learn to cook, ANYTHING. They don't need to replace your current friends, but they'll give you the emotional support you need in this aspect of your life, which leaves you free to enjoy your current friends and what they're priorities are too, but with balance.

    Best of luck. Give your friends some time to adjust and if you really think they're sabotaging you. Tell them that. Open communication solves most problems.

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