It is what it is, so get out there and do what you need to do

As I've said many times this last several months, I have fallen off and since November (about 3 1/2 months) been eating poorly, as I used to. Wrong, very wrong types of foods. I've been back on and off but with no consistently.
I knew I was putting it back on, but still did nothing heathy for that. As I have mentioned before, I would continue to allow myself, as I would really get started x day and x days turned into weeks. I was terrified to look at the damage.
Once in awhile i had gotten on the scale, cringed, and talk to myself, ". Angie you worked so hard, your just giving in....you know what you need to do! So get out there and do it! TOMMROW. Might as well treat yourself today, before I start back." ' Many times had this conversation with myself.
I'm embarressted and very disappointed in myself. So yesterday my conversation changed to, "it is what it is, accept it and let's move on"
Took my measurements and weight yesterday morning, didn't log as I had already slipped, but was able to talk myself out of poor choices. And failed on others. So reminded myself it is what it is, get out there and do it.
I am going to log my measurements, and weight, right now. See what the tracker sums me up with, and make some reasonable goals. Based part on what the tracker says, and part with my first big loss, (I found it big). I will take thart experience, how I'm feeling and my appearance, too much loss, lack of protien, which maybe apart of my hair loss and thinning, ( that's a hard pill to swallow, it's embarressing, and making me think twice about even leaving the house). I can not allow myself to isolate again. I'm actually going today to look at hair pieces, can't believe it. So far my drs are saying its probably related to stress. Waiting on some more blood tests, I need to know so we can treat it. . I'm just now on my way out of a very bad five year depression. And I don't want to look or move backwards, (this depression, has been the worst thing I have ever dealted with in my life. And the hardest work I have ever put into taking care of myself). It's been a very long time, with many losses of events, personal relationships and growth. I had little to none, confidence in myself. Other than the work with my wonderful therapist, and working real hard to apply the many things she has taught me, in my everyday life and outside her office. I truely feel the eating healthy, and the weight loss, were part of my confidence returning. At least a big step in the right direction. I want to feel those things again, and make them last forever. So my goals I may change on my profile. Here I go, deep breath, and do what I need to do! Time to continue on with the journey.