In need of urgent orientation

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Arianna2930
Arianna2930 Posts: 16 Member
edited March 2015 in Health and Weight Loss
Hey everyone i started dieting as a kid maybe 11 or 12 yrs old i am now 28, i just dont know what to do anymore, ive done every diet out there have waisted thousands of dollars, i tried counting calories a couple of times but it hasn't work or maybe I'm doing it wrong. I dont know anything about macro or counting carbs just plain calories, i have 2 toddlers and can't keep up with them im always tired i want to be a better mom for them, my body is always hurting especially my back so i really don't exercise although i know i should,please any advice is well appreciated, how can i do this? Ive even thought about WLS but I'm scared, HELP

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  • Arianna2930
    Arianna2930 Posts: 16 Member
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    Couldn't finish writing my phone was acting up. Ive waisted thousands od dollars on wl products u name it I've done it, i have 2 small kids that need me i feel like i cant be the mom i want to be for them, this weight is stopping me from doing things with them, im always tired
  • Arianna2930
    Arianna2930 Posts: 16 Member
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    Im even considering WLS but I'm scared
  • kindrabbit
    kindrabbit Posts: 837 Member
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    I feel your pain! If you've been watching your weight for so long you have probably heard every bit if advice. The trick for me was getting that 'click' that brought it all together and got me actually doing it. That's the bit that only you can do. We all know the answer I'd to eat less and move more. It's figuring out what's stopping us and what will get us started that's the hard bit.

    For me it was turning 40 and my daughter getting a little older and me feeling like it was ok to leave my husband in charge of bedtime a couple nights a week. A friend talked me into doing a jogging plan called couch to 5k. It sparked something in me. I dont consider myself competitive but I am stubborn so was determined to finish the plan. Being more active made me look at my diet. As I had just turned 40 I decided I was going to take a year just for me and focus on myself rather than being a wife and mother. Yes, I was going to be selfish and put myself first! I discussed it with my husband and he's supportive. I ran 3 evenings a week and joined slimming world and invested in myself. As the weight came off I got a good haircut and started looking after myself. I am so much happier and so is my family. I now have an evening job in the gym, I weight train, I invest in myself so I can be a better wife and mother and that makes everyone happy.

    I can't be sure what made it click for me but my stubbornness certainly helped. I hope you find your 'click'
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    You say you've spent thousands, have you every seriously tried working out how many calories you should eat a day, weighing, measuring and tracking your food and sticking within your calories? You dont NEED potions, pills, programs, or extra spending. You just need to eat slightly less calories than you need to maintain.

    I hate to think how much I've spend on snakeoil over the years. But I found MFP, it costs nothing, teaches everything and I've dropped over 50lbs so far.

    Have a read of this: http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants#latest
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    And just adding - with 63lbs to lose, you shouldn't be considering WLS. Not to mention WLS isn't a magic cure, you still need to learn good habits to last a lifetime. So how about trying that first?
  • Nony_Mouse
    Nony_Mouse Posts: 5,646 Member
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    Plug your info (height, weight, age, activity level) and a sensible weekly weight loss goal into the calculator here, see how many calories it gives you, and eat to that :). No need for expensive gimmicky diets, it's all about eating fewer calories a day than your body burns. Add in some exercise, even if it's just a half hour walk each day. Aim for foods that are going to fill you up and keep you satisfied.
  • Arianna2930
    Arianna2930 Posts: 16 Member
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    Yes I've tried measuring, weighing my food i have al kinds of gadgets here at home but it just hasn't worked, i have to admit I'm a full time mom always home i don't work out so maybe i have to try that, just that when i don't see results i get discouraged easy and give up, Thanks everyone for the help
  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
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    Throw away absolutely everything you think you know about dieting - every tip, hint, fad, gimmick, low carb, meal timing, eat this, add that, avoid this craze you have ever heard of, read about or tried.

    Get a digital scale

    Weigh all your food - log accurately - don't eat beyond your calorie defecit - don't rule out any food (make it work within your defecit)
    - calorie defecit = the MFP goal + 50% of any exercise calories

    Move more - go for walks (get a pedometer), lift heavy things and put them down again

    Consider progress every 2 - 4 weeks, accept natural fluctuations due to hormones, sodium, exercise

    Don't give up

  • tomatoey
    tomatoey Posts: 5,446 Member
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    You have great motivations, so you can do this :)

    Right now you're panicking and you probably feel like you have to do something desperate, which is probably the same feeling that led you to buy those products. The panic is good, in that it's making you prioritize your health, but you can't let it drive how you do it.

    Weight loss isn't easy, but it's simple. The main thing is just being consistent. If you have a bad meal or day, that's not the end of the world, it's just information to help you make a better decision the next day. It's going to take a little while to learn how to tweak things to make them work for you, but it won't take too long. And people are always here to help.

    You're doing the right thing :)

  • Arianna2930
    Arianna2930 Posts: 16 Member
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    Thank u so much rabbitjb will try this
  • Arianna2930
    Arianna2930 Posts: 16 Member
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    Aww made me feel better tomatoey Thank u
  • tomatoey
    tomatoey Posts: 5,446 Member
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    Also, just to say, for me, it was much easier to start with exercise than diet. I changed the food part way later. So if that makes sense to you too, you can start with fitness. Even walking for 15 or 30 minutes to start with - that's enough for a beginning.
  • tomatoey
    tomatoey Posts: 5,446 Member
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    Arianna2930 wrote: »
    Aww made me feel better tomatoey Thank u

    No problem :) You really can do it :)
  • mumblemagic
    mumblemagic Posts: 1,090 Member
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    Take a look at this:
    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants/p1

    Also, the NHS website has loads of resources on weight loss and fitness.

    http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/nhs-fitness-studio/Pages/welcome-to-nhs-fitness-studio.aspx
  • mumblemagic
    mumblemagic Posts: 1,090 Member
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    herrspoons wrote: »
    Speak to a therapist.
    This is really not helpful.

  • azulvioleta6
    azulvioleta6 Posts: 4,195 Member
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    Using a site like this makes it easier to count calories, so maybe this will be more successful for you than what you have tried in the past. As far as macros (fat, carbs, protein) go, just try to aim for the goals that this site generates for you and go from there.

    Beyond weight loss, you need to be exercising regularly for bone, brain and heart health. It's also important for aging well and for setting a healthy example for your kids. Walking is a perfectly fine place to start. Just keep adding more intensity/distance and don't be afraid to try new exercises.
  • blankiefinder
    blankiefinder Posts: 3,599 Member
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    Great advice from rabbit and tomato. Weigh all your food and eat at a deficit. Track every thing you eat. Weigh yourself once a week. If you haven't lost anything in a month then you are not eating in a deficit, and you'll have to take a good look at your logging etc.
  • DebzNuDa
    DebzNuDa Posts: 252 Member
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    I see that you are not using your Food Diary. Today...not tomorrow, you need to use your kitchen scale and weigh EVERYTHING (even that one little donut or cookie or soda). Every thing you put in your mouth counts. LOG IT on your Food Diary. If you don't have a Fitbit or Vivofit or something like it, just jot down everything that you do, be it a walk around the neighborhood with the kids or going to the park and playing with them (we gotta move that body). Keep track of these items (food, water, exercise) for one week.

    This is going to give you a good idea of what you actually eat and do, exercise wise. This is the first look in the big picture and MFP SHOWS you (as long as you log and are honest with yourself).

    Now, set yourself a goal. Make that goal, 5 pounds, for say. Put the goal on the fridge or mirror, on a note. REALLY believe in yourself and SEE the note every time you walk by it. NO fads, no "diets".....this is a lifetime way to eat and live that you can live with.

    Give it a chance. The first step is the hardest. Love you and be selfish (not it the way that hurts others) and invest the time to yourself. I hope this can help. Good luck! :)

    18134773.png

    May you be happy.
    May you be free.
    May you be well.
  • blankiefinder
    blankiefinder Posts: 3,599 Member
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    Actually I would include every day parenting activities in your activity level, not exercise. So lightly active instead of sedentary, maybe. Always better to err on the side of caution though.
  • Arianna2930
    Arianna2930 Posts: 16 Member
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    Sorry everyone i don't know how to respond to each and everyone of you individually but all of you are right and i appreciate your help im going to do this right this time, thanks to you all

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