Have you lost friends?
Smiley_Emi123
Posts: 99 Member
So let me start with I have lost a large amount of weight since this past summer starting at 176 and now I weight 140 
. (I'm 5ft 1 lol) so now my family and friends are telling me wow you look great it's time to stop now. The thing is my original goal was 136 giving me a bmi of 24.9 BUT do to medical issues (non alcoholic liver disease and something else I'm not ready to share) my doc and nutritionist want me at a bmi of 21-23 which means loosing another 25 pounds. Now my family and friends are saying "OMG you're going to look sick, that's too skinny, you won't look like a women anymore". What do I do with this?? In my healthy days I weight btw 111 to 118 and was at my healthiest and still had a but curves and breasts!! Also they are all btw 5ft5 to 6ft1. I wish they would understand that it makes a difference. FYI I'm very strictly monitored by my doc and nutri and am loosing according to them very healthy (also on meds for the other medical problem that causes to loose weight) so I loose a bit faster than most and I wish they'd understand NO I am NOT starving myself .... So I've lost 2 close friends so far.. I'm wondering if anyone else is going trought this ?
. (I'm 5ft 1 lol) so now my family and friends are telling me wow you look great it's time to stop now. The thing is my original goal was 136 giving me a bmi of 24.9 BUT do to medical issues (non alcoholic liver disease and something else I'm not ready to share) my doc and nutritionist want me at a bmi of 21-23 which means loosing another 25 pounds. Now my family and friends are saying "OMG you're going to look sick, that's too skinny, you won't look like a women anymore". What do I do with this?? In my healthy days I weight btw 111 to 118 and was at my healthiest and still had a but curves and breasts!! Also they are all btw 5ft5 to 6ft1. I wish they would understand that it makes a difference. FYI I'm very strictly monitored by my doc and nutri and am loosing according to them very healthy (also on meds for the other medical problem that causes to loose weight) so I loose a bit faster than most and I wish they'd understand NO I am NOT starving myself .... So I've lost 2 close friends so far.. I'm wondering if anyone else is going trought this ? 0
Replies
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actually according the clinical guidelines a BMI of 21-23 is perfectly NORMAL for your height. So that would put your weight at 111-122 lbs. Your friends should look it up.0
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I'm not going through this but I'm so sorry to hear that you have lost two close friends. I'm not quite sure why you would lose them, especially since you are sharing that you are losing the other 25 lbs as requested by your doctor and nutritionist AND that you have been 111 lbs in the past. Do they not know about your medical issues? Did they not know you when you were at a lower weight? ... It's hard to understand how people react to things sometimes. It's extremely important that you have a support system, even if it's small. Not just for your weight loss but also for your health issues. Lean on those people that are supportive of what you are going through. If you are continuing to lose weight due to medical conditions and under supervision of your doctor and nutritionist you need to continue to do what's best for you and realize that sometimes there are people in our lives that are only meant to be there for a certain period of time and not necessarily for the rest of our lives. It's easier said than done but it's the best I can share.
Good luck with your health and your goals!!0 -
Stop telling people what you weigh. Seriously if they think what you look like is more imporant that following your doctor's instruction that is, well, odd. (to put it nicely)0
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For your height, I don't see that as being sickly skinny. There is a cool website where you can see what people look like at specific weights and heights. Maybe your friends/family might be interested in seeing, or to show them that you will be fine. http://www.mybodygallery.com/0
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If they are arguing with legit health concerns and you are being monitored by a doctor....they are not the kind of friends you should have.
I kicked some "friends" to the curb. They weren't really my friends, they were jealous of my weight loss, and their lifestyle was drastically different from mine. They didn't want to do the stuff I wanted to do, and I didn't want to do the stuff they wanted to do.
I too have learned that I only discuss the nitty gritty of my weight loss with a few people in my life.0 -
I agree that if you are following medical advice they should butt out. My dad always said that people in general society are overweight...and what used to be overweight is now normal to see everywhere. If people see overweight BMI as "healthy" then they look at people with a healthy BMI and it looks sickly. Follow your doctor's advice and don't regret losing "friends" like that.0
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Do you.
Jealousy is an ugly beast, and you need to focus on yourself!0 -
I haven't had this happen, but I can certainly say that it's out of jealousy. Jealous people don't want you to do better than them and usually will talk down to you for it.0
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Thank you everyone for your replies!! I've done some self analyzing here, and I believe those of you who said not to share weight that it is personal and shouldn't be discussed with other than close family and friends at most. I will not be making this mistake again! Also I agree jealousy play'd a part in this but I also was at fault, I was bragging on how excited I was that the weight was coming off and also learning about health, healthy foods, exercise I was so excited that's 1/3 of what I talk about and I shouldn't. Because it can come off as stuck up and/or sometimes people are just not ready for that knowledge and it may push them away rather than inform them!
Again thanks everyone!!0 -
Don't feel bad about talking about what you've learnt- my best friend used to roll her eyes at me but then she joined and now she's doing the same. I totally agree with IamtheGlue above- people look at overweight people as normal, and think you don't have to lose anything. People tell me I don't have to lose weight. But I know I do (and so does my doctor). Ignore the naysayers, you're doing a fantastic job and you should listen to the professionals who are helping you!!
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adriennel502 wrote: »Don't feel bad about talking about what you've learnt- my best friend used to roll her eyes at me but then she joined and now she's doing the same. I totally agree with IamtheGlue above- people look at overweight people as normal, and think you don't have to lose anything. People tell me I don't have to lose weight. But I know I do (and so does my doctor). Ignore the naysayers, you're doing a fantastic job and you should listen to the professionals who are helping you!!
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Thank you 0 -
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Look, you are doing grea job. If your so called friends are jealous over you drive and discipline then they weren't really your friends. Good for you and best wishes on your meeting and exceeding all your goals.0
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They are being completely ridiculous. You are tiny at only 5' 1" and there is no way getting down to 115 will make you look sick. It will make you look THIN, but nowhere near approaching sick. My little sister is the same build as me, but a few inches shorter and she looks great at 110-115. Healthy and wonderful, just like you will.
I'm not saying they're jealous. I just think they're ignorant. Then again, I have people in my family that look at me and tell me that I need to eat. I'm pictured left.
Everyone's aesthetics are different. You go with your doctor's advice and your own goals and objectives.0 -
My friends have stuck around so far...BUT I definitely feel like I bore them to death. I don't drink or eat crap with them at happy hour, I want to talk about calories constantly (I try to keep it in check), most of my friends do not have weight issues...I've always been the chubby one in the group. They are life long friends (30 years or more) so they are supportive BUT...not a support group for sure! That's why I have you all!0
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You should be proud to talk about your weight loss and success etc dont shy away from that because other people feel bad about themselves. They can make a change too. Other people will replace them in your life. You'll be ok0
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My friend has this expression "Skinny B*tch Hate" - when you lose weight, hater's gonna hate and that's just the way it is.
I agree with not sharing your weight with anyone. It's personal, as is your medical issues.0 -
I have been reading a lot of posts recently from people who are being warned not to lose weight because they will lose their curves. I find this very odd. There are many hourglass put otherwise tiny petite women out there. JLo and Beyonce are probably size 4 but hardly lacking in curves. Also, there is nothing wrong with having a girlish or athletic figure and implying that if you don't have a lot of T&A then your not a real women is extremely offensive. There were a lot of inappropriate comments said to you but "you won't look like a women anymore" was the worst in my opinion. It is up to you and your doctor to determine what is best for you and whatever shape that results in I suggest you follow JLo's and Beyonce's example and strut around like the diva you are and ignore the "haters"
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I am 5' exactly and my ideal weight is somewhere in the 105-115 range. People do not understand "short person" problems. WE ARE TINY people, who, when healthy do not weigh very much. I will also say that my BFF, who is 5'5", just lost 25 pounds, and is now healthy and slim, while she was in the thick of it her co-workers kept asking her if she was OK or if she was sick. Her response was always "no, I just don't eat like a horse anymore." Listen to your doctors, not your jealous "friends."0
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Thank you everyone for your support! It's really impressive how much support can be found on MFP! Should have started posting before!!0
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Um ya, definitely focus on yourself. Your weight is your business alone. I'd say don't listen to them, a lot of them are jealous of your dedication. Talk with them about the same stuff you did before weight loss and come on here and chat about weight, calories, and nutrition with us. We will never get bored of you. Sometimes you just have to separate some things out, but I think you should keep going. You are so dang short. LOL sorry, i'm nearly six feet tall. Yet I know people your height at 110 lbs and they look healthy and are STRONG. So go for it and just keep it healthy. 0
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I haven't lost friends and I have been overwhelmingly supported but I have had some mean comments made and it can be pretty hurtful. Keep up the good work and remember that anyone who would be mean to you over your success was never a friend anyway.0
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Crabs in a bucket. They are jealous and it's as simple as that. Just ignore them or tell them to worry about themselves. If they carry on with presuming to know what you will look like at 21-22 BMI, then tell them that you can easily change your own weight if you want to.0
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Um ya, definitely focus on yourself. Your weight is your business alone. I'd say don't listen to them, a lot of them are jealous of your dedication. Talk with them about the same stuff you did before weight loss and come on here and chat about weight, calories, and nutrition with us. We will never get bored of you. Sometimes you just have to separate some things out, but I think you should keep going. You are so dang short. LOL sorry, i'm nearly six feet tall. Yet I know people your height at 110 lbs and they look healthy and are STRONG. So go for it and just keep it healthy.
Thanks your awesome
I haven't lost friends and I have been overwhelmingly supported but I have had some mean comments made and it can be pretty hurtful. Keep up the good work and remember that anyone who would be mean to you over your success was never a friend anyway.
That's very true .. I'm sorry to hear you've gotten some comments too
Yes I agree! I can easily change it if i want too, that's whats so amazing about the human body 0
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