Low Self Esteem Cures

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agratzy
agratzy Posts: 114 Member
in Motivation and Support
My best friend of 10 years said something disturbing to me the other day.
And let me begin, she has a heart of gold. She's intelligent, giving, kind, funny, and quick witted and super fit. But she's always dumbed herself down around men and thus has only dated, for lack of a better term, chumps. Her current "roommate" (as I will not give him the title of boyfriend) has a problem with viewing inappropriate material. This hurts her confidence, SPECIFICALLY because he told her,
"Are you perfect 10? Do you have a perfect body? Are you a model? No? That's why I look at [other women]."

She already has an eating disorder history. She text me asking if she was a "on a scale of 1-10, a what? And what can I do to be a perfect 10?"

I insisted that that is NOT the point but she refuses to see it.
Any advice to make her see it's not about being a perfect 10? And to keep her from falling into her same old disordered eating habits?

Replies

  • sofaking6
    sofaking6 Posts: 4,589 Member
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    Get her a therapist - this is more than a friend can fix with the right words, I'm afraid.
  • karen_fitzgibbon
    karen_fitzgibbon Posts: 736 Member
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    How about feeding her the room-mates balls through a straw? What a bleeping bleep head!!!! My husband looks at that type of reading material too. But not because I'm not perfect (which I'm obviously not lol) but because he is a guy and likes to.
    How could a guy says something like that to the girl he supposedly loves? He needs a high five to the face with a chair
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
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    Yup, you are right. She has to love herself enough to dump the chumps.
  • sofaking6
    sofaking6 Posts: 4,589 Member
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    karen_fitzgibbon wrote: »
    How about feeding her the room-mates balls through a straw? What a bleeping bleep head!!!! My husband looks at that type of reading material too. But not because I'm not perfect (which I'm obviously not lol) but because he is a guy and likes to.
    How could a guy says something like that to the girl he supposedly loves? He needs a high five to the face with a chair

    She would just find someone else to abuse her, but I do like where your head is at.

  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,220 Member
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    She's got to do it for herself. Although lifting fixed me. Maybe have a serious sit down with her and let her know it's not normal and that you worry about her. Won't fix it, but it could bring clarity to her.
  • scaryg53
    scaryg53 Posts: 268 Member
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    Wow, what a hurtful and inconsiderate thing to say. Reminds me of an ex that would ask me if I should really be eating desert, or if I should wear a certain outfit, blah blah, she needs to get rid of him and take some time to heal and figure out what her reasoning for saying abusive people really is.
  • scaryg53
    scaryg53 Posts: 268 Member
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    *dating
  • jennifershoo
    jennifershoo Posts: 3,198 Member
    edited March 2015
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    She has to dump his d0uchebag's *kitten*.
  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
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    Let her make her own decisions. Be there for her as a friend.
  • rbiss
    rbiss Posts: 422 Member
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    While it's sad to see, sometimes these problems can't be fixed. If these are recent problems maybe, but if this has been going on her entire life it's going to be hard for her to imagine something different. It's got to be something she recognizes and actively works to change.
  • aidancuthbertson1993
    aidancuthbertson1993 Posts: 20
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    Take it from me, she needs out of that relationship its normal for a male to be watching porn its a natural instinct for many men, but his remarks towards her is classified as verbal abuse, she needs to see a Therapist for the sake of her health
  • agratzy
    agratzy Posts: 114 Member
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    Thanks everyone. You're all mirroring my instincts as well.
  • megganjeninngs69
    megganjeninngs69 Posts: 51 Member
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    Hit him with yr car!!!
  • megganjeninngs69
    megganjeninngs69 Posts: 51 Member
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    :#
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,406 Member
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    Fact - She will NEVER be a "perfect 10" all the time, to everyone she meets. If she struggles to accept this, let alone the fact that she cares...says that she needs a lot of help.
  • agratzy
    agratzy Posts: 114 Member
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    FACT: Beers Eat Beats.

    Yes, she does need a lot of psychological working out. I was just hoping for some things that people do to boost their own self esteem and maybe slowly work on doing that with her as a friend. Not long term fixes but things that can make her feel good about herself for a while.

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