Feeling selfish/breastfeeding

mikhsh
mikhsh Posts: 37 Member
in Motivation and Support
hi guys, I need help.
I haven't lost any weight this week, all that lowering my calories has done is hurt my milk supply. I didn't lose weight with my last baby until I stopped breastfeeding so this seems to be what my body does. Do j stop breastfeeding my 10 month old to allow myself to lose weight or do I keep breastfeeding and wait? I don't know what to do but I feel very frustrated :(

Replies

  • mikhsh
    mikhsh Posts: 37 Member
    Btw I'm on 1550 calories
    CW: 231
    And I'm 5'7"
  • BeccaLifting
    BeccaLifting Posts: 6 Member
    Unless there is a medical reason which means you have to lose weight urgently then my advice is to put baby first and worry about your weight later.

    I had exactly the same situation, so I can empathize fully. It didn't matter what I did I couldn't shift the weight whilst feeding. Once I'd stopped (my LO didn't want a drop more milk once he properly discovered food aged 7/8 months) I lost 15lb in 10 days without changing anything, it just fell off. I suspect a large amount of it is water weight my body held onto with the hormones of feeding.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    Personally, I would not stop breastfeeding in order to lose weight. But I bf my daughter for 27 months so you may feel differently about that.

    How active are you? At 5'7" and 231, you should be losing if you're eating 1550 calories. Is that what you are eating or what you are netting? (netting = eaten calories less exercise calories)
  • SueInAz
    SueInAz Posts: 6,592 Member
    It's really what's best for you and your baby. I stopped breastfeeding when my son was about 6 months old. I was working full-time and it was a hassle. By 6 months he was healthy, eating solid food and doing really well so there was no guilt involved in my weaning him.
  • veganbettie
    veganbettie Posts: 701 Member
    it's likely you just need to experiment with how many calories you can eat. you should be able to eat at least 1800 at your size and lose weight, and shouldn't hurt your supply.

    breastfeeding supply is really about supply and demand, if you're nursing a lot you'll make a lot (provided there are no underlying conditions), remember there are women in 3rd world countries that barely get any food that are able to nurse their children well into toddlerhood.

    Play with your calories a bit, NURSE your baby and just try to relax. Your weight will come off eventually, but your baby will only be this small for a short time. :)
  • 4leighbee
    4leighbee Posts: 1,275 Member
    My (ancient) recollection is that breast feeding actually improves your body's ability to return to its pre-baby condition. Whatever you choose, be proud of yourself for breast feeding as long as you have ... it isn't easy, and you have given your little peanut a tremendous gift.
  • DerekVTX
    DerekVTX Posts: 287 Member
    I'm no expert by why not switch to Formula now. At a reduced calorie diet your baby may not be getting what he/she needs anyways. Also teeth may be coming soon....ouch!
  • Jennloella
    Jennloella Posts: 2,286 Member
    Don't feel guilty if you decide to stop breast feeding. Doing what's best for you IS taking care of baby. Going to formula won't hurt little one in the least. I never breast fed any of my four babies, by choice, and never felt guilty for doing what was best for me, because they were healthy, happy, and full regardless.
  • mirthegeologist
    mirthegeologist Posts: 143 Member
    When I was breastfeeding, I felt too overwhelmed to lose weight at the same time. When I tried to cut calories, it hurt my supply, which was going to be a financial burden (my daughter was milk intolerant, so we would have needed a dairy free-expensive-formula). So I chose to breastfeed for a year. Some of the baby weight came off, but not all of it, and I accepted that. Once my daughter was weaned (right around her birthday), then I started focusing on making healthy choices, but I did not commit to weight loss until 6 months later (I really liked eating a lot of everything). But that's my story.

    For you, if you want to stop breastfeeding in order to lose weight, you should. Keep in mind that you have breastfed for 10 months, which is incredible. There is no reason to feel guilty about stopping breastfeeding-- your baby will be just as loved with an alternate nutrition source. You need to determine what is best for you and your family.

    Best of luck to you, whatever you decide. :)
  • mikhsh
    mikhsh Posts: 37 Member
    jemhh wrote: »
    Personally, I would not stop breastfeeding in order to lose weight. But I bf my daughter for 27 months so you may feel differently about that.

    How active are you? At 5'7" and 231, you should be losing if you're eating 1550 calories. Is that what you are eating or what you are netting? (netting = eaten calories less exercise calories)

    I wasn't planning on weaning her ever, I was going to let her self wean. 1550 is what I am eating, I never eat back calories. I am lightly active, caring for my baby, breastfeeding, and all the walking pick up drop offs of my other two and we live in an apartment with stairs. Like I said, I'm not losing weight, just milk supply! It's the first thing my body is willing to let go of I guess
  • mikhsh
    mikhsh Posts: 37 Member
    veganbettie wrote: »
    it's likely you just need to experiment with how many calories you can eat. you should be able to eat at least 1800 at your size and lose weight, and shouldn't hurt your supply.

    breastfeeding supply is really about supply and demand, if you're nursing a lot you'll make a lot (provided there are no underlying conditions), remember there are women in 3rd world countries that barely get any food that are able to nurse their children well into toddlerhood.

    Play with your calories a bit, NURSE your baby and just try to relax. Your weight will come off eventually, but your baby will only be this small for a short time. :)

    Unfortunately we have underlying conditions. I have nearly lost my supply a couple times before due to her posterior tongue tie and upper lip tie. We had them laser released but I think all that time really hurt my initial building of steady milk. She physically couldn't kay h a bottle or even use an SNS so it was boob or intravenous. So I took fenugreek a lot in her earlier months, and that's what I'm having to do now since it is tapered off a bit
  • mikhsh
    mikhsh Posts: 37 Member
    DerekVTX wrote: »
    I'm no expert by why not switch to Formula now. At a reduced calorie diet your baby may not be getting what he/she needs anyways. Also teeth may be coming soon....ouch!

    She has four and working on a few more. I suspect it would take me at least a month to wean so she would go straight to water and milk for liquids as her solid diet is sufficient and she has no idea how to use a bottle due to her early issues as mentioned above, so it can be done bit am I willing to make her miserable for my benefit?
  • mikhsh
    mikhsh Posts: 37 Member
    edited March 2015
    I know I should be healthy for her And my other kids but it will be a lot of turmoil for the whole family if I make that decision, so I'm trying to not be too rash and weigh all the factors!
    Edited for silly auto correct issues
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    mikhsh wrote: »
    jemhh wrote: »
    Personally, I would not stop breastfeeding in order to lose weight. But I bf my daughter for 27 months so you may feel differently about that.

    How active are you? At 5'7" and 231, you should be losing if you're eating 1550 calories. Is that what you are eating or what you are netting? (netting = eaten calories less exercise calories)

    I wasn't planning on weaning her ever, I was going to let her self wean. 1550 is what I am eating, I never eat back calories. I am lightly active, caring for my baby, breastfeeding, and all the walking pick up drop offs of my other two and we live in an apartment with stairs. Like I said, I'm not losing weight, just milk supply! It's the first thing my body is willing to let go of I guess

    On the supply issue--be sure that you are still drinking plenty of water. I'm sure you already know that since this isn't your first go around with nursing but I remember how much I had to drink every day. (Sometimes I swear I felt myself dehydrate right as she nursed!)

    How long have you been working on losing weight? It may be that your weight loss will just be slow right now. I really feel like, considering your height and weight and activity level, you should be able to eat a bit more. I would say eat back some of your calories so that you can keep up your supply right now. I'd aim for 1750-1800.
  • StephMDtoo
    StephMDtoo Posts: 37 Member
    Are you going to a nursing support group? I had lots of problems when I started breastfeeding, but the hospital I had my baby with had a lactation support group run by a few nurses that really helped me with my supply.
  • mikhsh
    mikhsh Posts: 37 Member
    StephMDtoo wrote: »
    Are you going to a nursing support group? I had lots of problems when I started breastfeeding, but the hospital I had my baby with had a lactation support group run by a few nurses that really helped me with my supply.

    I live in a small secluded town in the Rocky Mountains. I suppose a few towns away at the hospital maybe there is something, I should look into it next time we take a trip out of town :)
  • mikhsh
    mikhsh Posts: 37 Member

    On the supply issue--be sure that you are still drinking plenty of water. I'm sure you already know that since this isn't your first go around with nursing but I remember how much I had to drink every day. (Sometimes I swear I felt myself dehydrate right as she nursed!)

    How long have you been working on losing weight? It may be that your weight loss will just be slow right now. I really feel like, considering your height and weight and activity level, you should be able to eat a bit more. I would say eat back some of your calories so that you can keep up your supply right now. I'd aim for 1750-1800.[/quote]

    I drink 3 liters (12 cups @250ml each) a day but maybe I should up that.
    It's been a few weeks. Normally when I begin losing weight (unfortunately I've lost significant amounts a few times before) I have never stalled at the start. And I was eating a whole lot before starting this time so it's a bit of a bummer.
  • rhye
    rhye Posts: 104 Member
    I have low milk supply. For 6 months postpartum I ate and ate (while on Domperidone) and never grew my supply, but did grow my waist line. Finally I decided formula was better than gaining back all the weight I had previously lost, so I started losing weight (1400 calories a day and I am 5'7" and 270 lbs.). Viola! My milk supply did not decrease but in fact increased. Even if it does decrease, every drop counts and there's no reason to quit breastfeeding even if you have zero supply-- it still fulfills an emotional need for a baby. But recent research shows that insulin disregulation can inhibit milk production and hence a diet low in sugars can help with supply problems. This might be what I experienced. I know it's rare for someone to go off Domperidone and see an increase rather than a decrease, but I pump 4x a week to check my supply and I've seen a 20% increase over the last month.
  • rhye
    rhye Posts: 104 Member
    This place is amazing for both support and info for low supply moms: https://www.facebook.com/groups/IGTmamas/
  • mikhsh
    mikhsh Posts: 37 Member
    Wow that's an amazing story, strange indeed to go off domperidone and see an increase! I think worrying about it certainly doesn't help either. That's how I initially got off of taking fenugreek all the time and my supply balanced out. I think the stress of not being able to stress/tired eat is probably part of the problem. I go to carbs for an energy boost when all the kids have me up all night yet I still have to get up early as they all still need to be taken care of! I do think I get enough sleep but I would sure like to have a pizza and watch tv right now instead of being on here trying to distract myself. Thanks everyone for your time and suggestions!
  • mikhsh
    mikhsh Posts: 37 Member
    rhye wrote: »
    This place is amazing for both support and info for low supply moms: https://www.facebook.com/groups/IGTmamas/

    And I will heck this out too!
  • DerekVTX
    DerekVTX Posts: 287 Member
    When she is off the boob you may also want to consider Goat Milk instead of Cows Milk. The fat & protein in the goats milk is much more similar to human milk than what cows milk is and I think better for them. Also the formulas are carefully balanced for what baby needs.
  • mikhsh
    mikhsh Posts: 37 Member
    DerekVTX wrote: »
    When she is off the boob you may also want to consider Goat Milk instead of Cows Milk. The fat & protein in the goats milk is much more similar to human milk than what cows milk is and I think better for them. Also the formulas are carefully balanced for what baby needs.

    Lol. Off the boob, that's how I say it too thought it was just me. Yes I was thinking of looking into goats milk, I would have to travel to get it but I bet it freezes well just like cow's milk.
  • mikhsh
    mikhsh Posts: 37 Member
    Thank you everyone for your help, I have decided to stick it out a little longer. I have upped my calories to 1800/day, and am going to continue taking fenugreek if I need it and revise the situation in another month. Like a previous poster said, she's only small once and breastmilk is recommended up until 2 and beyond by the World Health Organization so I will try longer. It's also been proven to reduce obesity when breastfed children become adults, so maybe this will help her so she doesn't end up in a similar situation as an adult :)
  • anacd
    anacd Posts: 38 Member
    After I wrote my whole reply I noticed you had already replied and is doing was I was going to recommend lol I'm also breastfeeding, so I understand the challenge it is to try eating enough calories not to reduce milk supply while still losing weight! I'm glad you decided to continue to breastfeed! It's the best for your baby :smile:
  • jennifershoo
    jennifershoo Posts: 3,198 Member
    DerekVTX wrote: »
    I'm no expert by why not switch to Formula now. At a reduced calorie diet your baby may not be getting what he/she needs anyways. Also teeth may be coming soon....ouch!

    Oh gosh. First of all, breastmilk has way more nutrition than the formula. Mom and baby are in sync and the milk adjusts itself (more fat or more carbs) according to the baby's needs. If the mom is dieting, the baby will get the nutrition first and it's the mom who risks nutritional deficiencies.
    And a baby with teeth may try once of twice to bite, but when you explain to them, they understand. It's not like they are bitting machines.
  • FunkenWagnel
    FunkenWagnel Posts: 131 Member
    I'm so glad to see you're still going :) I have three kids, and stopped breastfeeding two of them early on due to certain problems we were having with breastfeeding. My youngest, I fed til two and a half and let her self wean.

    I think if it's going so well, it's nice to stick with it. It can slow down weight loss somewhat, but you can always exercise more in the meantime. That's how I dealt with it back then.

Categories