Non supportive spouse...

titletown
titletown Posts: 377 Member
edited September 27 in Motivation and Support
Does anyone else have any trouble getting any sort of support from your spouse or significant other?

Whenever I bring up anything related to my success losing weight, etc. my wife seems to spite me. She is overweight as well and not losing weight but I know she wants to. Is this something anyone else is experiencing?

I no longer share any of my successes with her to avoid the spiteful feeling I get from her.

Not a huge issue, just wondering if anyone else is experiencing this as well.

And before you insinuate, I have never suggested to her that she's overweight and should lose some weight too ;)

Replies

  • CassieLEO
    CassieLEO Posts: 757 Member
    She is just afraid that you will get skinny and reap the rewards and she will stay overweight and unhappy. Some people just arent motivated at all. Maybe try and get her to take a walk with you or something, turn it into you and her time. If she doesnt want to budge you cant force her. Did you tell her how much this is bothering you? Keep your chin up, you are doing great!!!
  • shesnotthere
    shesnotthere Posts: 117
    Is she trying? Maybe you should kindly ask her if she wants to start to try with you..?
  • Bellydance
    Bellydance Posts: 105 Member
    She probably does feel bad that she's not losing and seeing you lose it has her feeling down about herself. My significant other didn't even notice (he was skinny) and he didn't notice a lot of other things either; hence, he's gone. LOL. Just love on her, use us for your bragging -- cuz you have the right to brag -- and encourage her when she makes an effort. Sorry you are going through this but I know it happens all the time, wife or husband. Hang in!
  • tararocks
    tararocks Posts: 287 Member
    I agree, while she is probably very happy for you, she is also probably frustrated and disappointed with herself. Keep it up you are doing great!
  • Connie165
    Connie165 Posts: 1
    I have sort of the same problem except my husband is not over weight and can eat anyting and not gain an ounce and keeps a drawer full of junk that I have a lot of trouble avoiding if I am the least bit upset! I love chocolate and it just gets too tempting at time and then I have a mother that if she were to cook a meal that was not fried or overly procesed I think that I would check her for a fever. I wish I could help but I need the same help.
  • titletown
    titletown Posts: 377 Member
    She's been talking about dieting for a while now, just never gets the ball rolling and I'm afraid to bring it up, she has a bit of a fragile psyche :) (Long story, serious tramas in her past).

    I've asked her if she'd like to walk with me a coupe times but always get the usual excuses, we all know them well.

    I guess I'll just wait til she's ready for my help and support and do what I can then and just avoid any hint of self gratitude around her.
  • otr12
    otr12 Posts: 632 Member
    I just don't bring it up. Support from a spouse is great but I don't think it's a requirement.
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
    My spouse is different in that he does the dinner cooking because he's home during the day (disabled, but not THAT disabled), so he's a house husband. For the longest time, he was cooking high fat/high calorie meals. Until I started refusing to eat them. He feels insecure because he doesn't want to see me skinny because then I might be attractive to other men. He's also about 60-65 lbs overweight, but not willing to "sacrifice" the foods he loves in order to lose weight. In other words, he still eats huge amounts of things that are bad for him rather than eating them in moderation. He has yet to comment on my weight loss (down 22 lbs so far). I don't think he ever will.

    Good luck. I hope your wife starts to support you in your weigh loss journey!
  • JunkFoodJane
    JunkFoodJane Posts: 150 Member
    She may be feeling worried you will leave her. Seen many people get in shape because of the new hottie at work, then bye bye bye.


    My boyfriend made it very clear to me in January 2010 that he was worried about my new appreciation for vegetarianism, exercise and health. He was worried I'd leave him for someone more interested in a healthier lifestyle, and he is NOT over weight. He's 6'5" and a 35" waist. But he eats poorly and rarely gets any exercise. He was just afraid seeing me make a change. But, you know, not afraid enough to make it with me.
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