it WILL work this time...

Hi all -
I am a 40 something woman who is the proud and adoring mom to 2 little girls born in China. My hubby and I adopted them 8 and 6 years ago. My faith (I know, no religion, but I need to put this in a frame of reference) has made the adoptions possible and allowed me to come to terms with my infertility. But the fact of the matter is that my weight is a result of genetics as well as a huge component of my infertility. I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. For those who don't know much about it, it is a huge hormonal imbalance which includes insulin resistance which causes weight gain, which makes the resistance worse, which causes more weight gain, and the cycle goes on and on. Given that my issues started back in the early 90s, this condition went untreated because it was not a widely recognized issue at that time. During that time period I put on probably 75lbs. I also struggled with situational and seasonal depression throughout all of this and that added another 25-35 lbs since I was not motivated to be active or make very healthy choice. The last part of my weight struggle has been just being a mom of 2 very active girls while working full time and being a mom. Stress is a huge component in my life - motherhood, marriage, finances, health, work... it is nothing more than what other people deal with, but it does effect my weight issues.

I have gone on and off the efforts to lose this weight. I would love to get back down to my marriage weight. That is not an unreasonable weight for my size, but it is a huge amount of weight to lose. I have no illusions of being the same shape or size, but the weight would be nice - it was the weight that I felt the most energetic, where I felt I looked the best. Well, for some reason it seems as if my spiritual self is finally connected to my physical self as well as my emotional self. I am ready to take a long hard look at myself and my habits and make the changes that I need to preserve my health so that I can enjoy watching my girls grow up and then enjoy time with my hubby as we move towards retirement.

I know one of the first things I need to do is get with a nutritionist who can really help me put food in perspective. I need to come up with exercise that I will actually do. I need to come up with ways to motivate myself - some sort of reward system. While I have an awesome hubby - noticing small things is not one of his strong points. So I need to come up with a way to encourage myself and keep moving forward. If anyone knows of any free printable tracking tools, that would be awesome. I love doing things online, but so often I am away from my computer when I make good choices, and I don't have a smart phone to be able to keep track of things. I also just love to write things down - I love charts and forms. I am weird, I know. But that is how I survived going through 2 international adoptions!

I look forward to getting to know people, hearing tips and suggestions, and getting so active that (no offense) I don't need this board anymore!