Sabotaging Thoughts

CaiPa175
CaiPa175 Posts: 15
edited November 14 in Motivation and Support
Some people embark on a calorie counting regime thinking it's the only tool they need to lose weight. And they call it a 'lifestyle change' to avoid calling it a 'diet'. The truth is, for many of us, we need to really work on changing the way we react to things and the way we view things in order for us to be successful at this long-term.

The idea is that every action is triggered by a thought, therefore in order to change the action, we need to change the thought. I hadn't realised until lately just how much I was sabotaging my efforts at a healthier lifestyle because I wasn't changing my mindset.

Now I'm working at 're-programming' my thoughts, especially after reading some of Judith Beck's CBT research. For example:

Thought: "It's not fair that other people can eat normally and be slim. I want to be that way too"
Feeling: Resentment
Action: Eating whatever I want to ease the feeling of injustice!

Now:
Response to thought: "I AM eating normally now. This is how normal people eat - healthful, regular meals. My eating habits before were not normal."
Feeling: Acceptance
Action: Continue practising my new, normal way of eating.

Thought: "It's okay to eat this because the amount of food is so small"
Feeling: Justified
Action: Eat what I want, and as we all know these 'small' things add up.

Now:
Response to thought: "Just because it doesn't have many calories doesn't mean I should eat it. I need to use every opportunity to strengthen my resistance around these foods so that I can break my habit of giving in to them."
Feeling: Strength, understanding
Action: Say no to the food - it's just a small amount anyway.

In the Beck Diet Solution (cognitive behavioural therapy techniques), Judith Beck also talks about the 'oh well' response. Sometimes, we have to do things we don't like to do. For example, wake up early for work. Or ironing. And so on. Sometimes, when we need to do something we don't like, when we respond with "oh well", it reinforces the fact that it's just something we have to do and downplays its significance. NB: I've actually re-phrased my "oh well" to something a bit less clean. :)

"I really don't feel like working out." - Oh, well.
"I'm too tired to cook tonight." - Oh, well.

Perhaps you have identified 'sabotaging' thoughts of your own? I'd like to hear them - maybe with new responses too!

I just really wanted to post this because sometimes calorie counting isn't enough - it's like treating the symptom when we really need treat the cause of these behaviours.











Replies

  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    I'd disagree about 'normal'. Honestly... most of the people I know just eat whatever they want when they want and don't worry about calories. And yes, most of them are overweight. I'd think that's actually the 'normal' here.

    Also disagreed with your second point - why say no to the food? Just have a little...
  • CaiPa175
    CaiPa175 Posts: 15
    It's just my personal way of staying on track. Just having a little for me doesn't lead anywhere good. My personal approach is to stick with my plan of 3 meals and 2 snacks, plus an iced soya latte, for 1550 calories a day, approximately. So I don't want to justify little things here and there - one probably won't hurt but I want to get confident telling myself no, so when it's something bigger, I know I'm strong enough to not cave in.

    These are just my personal way of dealing with the thoughts that sabotage me, they don't have to be the same for everyone. :)
  • Songbird61377
    Songbird61377 Posts: 54 Member
    CaiPa175: I know what you mean about the sabotage and the thinking process involved in it. I started reading a blog called summer tomato where the issue is addressed. The author talks a lot about creating habits. The kinds of habits that bring reward (otherwise they want stick). But overall I feel that you had your'aha!' moment, that's great! I'll have to check out Judith Beck, sounds like something totally in my alley.
  • Songbird61377
    Songbird61377 Posts: 54 Member
    Also I am with you on "just a little bit" justification, the only time this approach works is if I really own one serving, for later attitude never works for me I'm very good at explaining why now is better :)
  • CaiPa175
    CaiPa175 Posts: 15
    Ah, yes the habit thing! That's how I stumbled across this stuff to begin with. I found that some habits were just too deeply ingrained in me. I am about to start a new job and I am determined to set up good habits to begin with. At my old job, I would do things I didn't even enjoy any more (such as go to Starbucks in the morning and get a frappuccino) but I carried on just because it was now a firm part of my routine. It was only when I changed my commute that I was able to stop the habit.

    It has had me wondering how to form healthier habits as there isn't an obvious reward with them. So I'm going to check out that blog!
  • Songbird61377
    Songbird61377 Posts: 54 Member
    Good luck, I hope you find some of the stuff useful, I did, not to say it was all easy, I take one day at a time. The blog author name is Darya Rose :)
  • sengalissa
    sengalissa Posts: 253 Member
    CaiPa175 wrote: »
    Some people embark on a calorie counting regime thinking it's the only tool they need to lose weight. And they call it a 'lifestyle change' to avoid calling it a 'diet'. The truth is, for many of us, we need to really work on changing the way we react to things and the way we view things in order for us to be successful at this long-term.

    The idea is that every action is triggered by a thought, therefore in order to change the action, we need to change the thought. I hadn't realised until lately just how much I was sabotaging my efforts at a healthier lifestyle because I wasn't changing my mindset.

    Now I'm working at 're-programming' my thoughts, especially after reading some of Judith Beck's CBT research. For example:

    Thought: "It's not fair that other people can eat normally and be slim. I want to be that way too"
    Feeling: Resentment
    Action: Eating whatever I want to ease the feeling of injustice!

    Now:
    Response to thought: "I AM eating normally now. This is how normal people eat - healthful, regular meals. My eating habits before were not normal."
    Feeling: Acceptance
    Action: Continue practising my new, normal way of eating.

    Thought: "It's okay to eat this because the amount of food is so small"
    Feeling: Justified
    Action: Eat what I want, and as we all know these 'small' things add up.

    Now:
    Response to thought: "Just because it doesn't have many calories doesn't mean I should eat it. I need to use every opportunity to strengthen my resistance around these foods so that I can break my habit of giving in to them."
    Feeling: Strength, understanding
    Action: Say no to the food - it's just a small amount anyway.

    In the Beck Diet Solution (cognitive behavioural therapy techniques), Judith Beck also talks about the 'oh well' response. Sometimes, we have to do things we don't like to do. For example, wake up early for work. Or ironing. And so on. Sometimes, when we need to do something we don't like, when we respond with "oh well", it reinforces the fact that it's just something we have to do and downplays its significance. NB: I've actually re-phrased my "oh well" to something a bit less clean. :)

    "I really don't feel like working out." - Oh, well.
    "I'm too tired to cook tonight." - Oh, well.

    Perhaps you have identified 'sabotaging' thoughts of your own? I'd like to hear them - maybe with new responses too!

    I just really wanted to post this because sometimes calorie counting isn't enough - it's like treating the symptom when we really need treat the cause of these behaviours.










    For a few months, I had been losing and regaining the first 2 lbs of the last 10lbs. A few days ago, for the first time ever, I committed entirely to do it. Before, there had been this weird thought of not deserving it that had blocked me. I am actually afraid of looking too good. I was a chubby teen. Witty but I felt unattractive. Then I had 5 kids.
    Now I weigh 128lbs and lift. People tell me I look fantastic or hot. Do I really want to look leaner and draw attention to myself? I have this mental thing that it must be weird to look like a fitness model and bring five little kids to the beach ;) However, I read a lot on bodybuilding.com and found many role models. I am now ready to look spectacular!

    So, yes, I had the calorie counting down but the real blockage was mental!
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